On Adam Sandler's 1999 album, "Stan and Judy's Kid," he sings a song called "She Comes Home To Me" ...(think Sinatra)

    Though I've always been a fool for love,
    I have finally made my score.
    I got a girl and I don't mean to boast,
    But she loves me the most-
    Even though she's a highly paid whore.

    She'll give head to a sheik,
    She can stuff three c*cks in her cheek;
    But she comes home to me.

    She'll do the groom and the best man,
    She'll slap your ass in the back of a van;
    But she comes home to me.

    She can f*ck nine guys in a row,
    But still have a tenth for me;
    And I'm the only one who gets to kiss them lips-
    Unless you pay an extra fifty.

    So mister, don't you fall in love,
    'Cause I'm the only cat who doesn't wear a glove,
    Since her heart belongs to me.

    She has a throat that just won't quit,
    She can take all of it;
    And still have room for your balls
    But she shops in the malls for me.

    She'll say "12" then call back and say "1",
    But I don't care, I know it's just work, not fun;
    When she blows you, Jack,
    Don't you think she's not thinking of me!

    She'll go down on a yak, lick a horse's nutsack,
    But simply for the cash.
    And it's only me who doesn't pay a fee
    To watch her put a water bottle in her gash.

    She'll let you suck her nips 'til they're leakin'
    But don't you dare try to go antiquin',
    Cause she does that with me.

    Her pussy's sweet as honey,
    But when she moans, it's just for the money,
    Unless she's sittin' on me.

    She'll jam your asshole with a mouse,
    But she won't do it in our house;
    Tough luck, Jack,
    She knows that don't fly with me!

    She might eat your wife's box,
    But she won't tell you where you left your socks.
    She rode up and down your fat prick
    But it was me who took her to the Meg Ryan flick.

    She's got a face full of nuts, and a mouth full of cock;
    She's done Seal, Larry King, 4 New Kids on the Block;
    She blew the Winnipeg Jets right after a game,
    But they never got to know her actual name.

    On your face she will piss, on your chest she might poop,
    But she won't prepare her famous vegetable soup,
    That's simply reserved...

    Oh, she'll bite ya, she'll spank ya,
    But she'll never thank you for free-
    'Cause baby comes home to me.

He sang this song live on Chris Rock's HBO variety show. Sandler and a 17-piece big band all wore tuxedos. Very classy!
   
   



   


-- Modified on 7/12/2002 3:17:00 AM