How to pick "the sure thing" in a bar

A guy friend who frequents bars regularly states he has a list of things he looks for in a woman when he is anxious to get laid.

First of all,he always hits on the prettiest girls first, but since he is probably a 7-8 in looks, he usually gets shot down. Then he goes to Plan B if he is really in the mood.

Here are his signs of women who may be up for a one-nighter:

smokers, piercings or tats, wearing ankle bracelets or toe rings, funky hairstyle or clothing, plump women (they usually give great BJ's), low cut tops, already intoxicated, a woman by herself or with just one friend (if she's with a pack of girls, forget it), tapping her foot or hand to the music.

He particularly swears by the smoking and ankle bracelet combination.

So, guys, is he just pulling my leg? Are there indeed certain signs a woman is a "sure thing" for the night?

But you have to look close...

your friend will be picking up more than just a night of sex.  He better wear condoms and he should listen carefully for the sound of 40,000 crabs screaming: "stay off the carpet!!"

Re:How to pick "the sure thing" in a bar

LOL

Your friend could be right.    I used to own a tittie bar and we had a saying  "No one looks ugly at 4am when you see 'em through beer goggles ... so .... Go For Ugly Early"

With that said ... the thing I saw personally was that there truly IS no accounting for taste.... and no explanation AT ALL for what a man will do, say and accept when he's on the hunt.

For me, I never liked tattoos.   I came up at a time when they were, as my mom said, a sign of a "sporting woman"  (note: this was before I realized that a Sporting Woman can be a good thing) but I've since learned to appreicate one, maybe two NICE ones.  But with that being said, if she has enough tattoos to be walking art, she has more issues than I want to deal with even for a night ... or an hour .. or ... (ahem) 4 minutes.

Same with piercings.  I like one or two well and provocatively placed ones.... but I don't want someone that looks like she fell down a flight of stairs and head first into a tackle box, either.

Plump women can give great blow jobs, sure.  But if they have enough folds that they could lose the TV remote in one, it's not going to make little nasty rise to the occasion, so to speak.

Ankle braclets, collars and toe rings?  well yeah, there was a time, certainly.  Used to be that left ankle bracelet meant a bisexual woman, right ankle hetero only.   But that was before that stuff was sold to teeny boppers in the mall and bought solely because it looked 'bitchin' with a particular outfit she had.

The sad fact is that these days ... sleaze has gone respectable.

Stick with the tried and true:  Send the bartender over to her with the message "The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a condo in Plam Springs"

Re:How to pick "the sure thing" in a bar

older gals between 35-50  most of the time are very easy

Plam Springs...you mean Palm Springs....lol...very good analysis!...lol... MP....
Plam springs is when the bed breaks...when your plaming her.

BTW, Does the condo come equiped with a pair of hampers?

at the same bar....

A guy walks in and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: - $1.50.
Chicken Sandwich: - $2.50.
Hand Job: - $10.00.
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am"
The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

Cheers!

W E L L   S A I D  !!!!!!!!


Pleeze xkuze my spelling, I am a produckt of a kaleeforneea publik skool edyukayshun  and must rezort to hunkd on fonix

Re:How to pick "the sure thing" in a bar

"The sad fact is that these days ... sleaze has gone respectable."

You hit the nail on the head. The dating game has become even harder to read than ever before -- partly there's this post-feminist backlash, mixed with the feminist lash, mixed with the "I don't know what I want because I'm female" system that's always been around, mixed with mixed messages designed to control and manipulate -- why is it that men are such suckers for manipulation? We get it done to us by our parents, our moms, our bosses, our girlfriends, our target dates at bars ... maybe there's something to be worked out in there?

But the whole nice-girl-with-tattoos thing bugs me. I'm a nasty boy. I want nasty-looking people to THINK NASTY, not drive their daddy's white Jeep Suburban and shop at The Gap.

LOL ... i know YOU didn't say that, i did (you're too smart for that  

but according to the Andrea Dworkin wannabes of this world, we all better wise up and fess up to what we are and ALL that we are: RAPISTS ... pure and simple.

with that bit of edification and self-knowledge established, i would go on to say BRING ME THE NUBILES!  i mean the teenage Lolitas who wear the ankle bracelets on the wrong leg! LOL

there's lot of talk about providers seeing men over 30. but you don't hear much talk of they why's and wherefore's of what hobbyists seek as far as age goes. hmmm ... consenting "adults"? what constitues an adult?

anyone ever slept with a 16-year-old?? (i haven't) but if so, can you look at yourself in the mirror every morning and brush it off like a dab of shaving cream on your undershirt? or do you only  regert not having asked her to hook you up with her gal pals


enuf said (most assuredly)

>

Her ankles (with charm bracelets that say "For Rent")

Two guys walk into a greasy spoon Diner.

Behind the counter is a fat rotund waitress, you know the kind, the ones that have so many folds you don't know which one to use.

Behind her is the menu posted on the wall.

Steak Dinner  $16.50
Fried Fish    $12.95
Hamburger     $4.50
Hot Dog       $2.50

One guy says "I'm really hungry let me have two hamburgers" The waitress says "ok", and the ask the other guy what he wants. He says"Ya know, I'm not that hungry, just give me a Hot Dog". The waitress says"ok, coming right up".

She waddles over to the freezer, and pulls out two hamburger patties, and a Hot Dog. She then takes the hamburger patties and slaps one under each arm. "What the hell are you doing?" screams the guy who ordered the burgers. "I have to thaw them out before I can cook them", explained the waitress.

The other guy then exclaims "You know what?!, forget about that Hot Dog!"

-- Modified on 7/16/2003 6:41:49 PM

when I was 16 too.