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HookerWithAHeartOfTinFoil 584 reads
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Udo1790 reads

All hobbyists (whore mongers) usually have certain physical traits that they need to find in a provider for that woman to be attractive to them.

I am looking at the things that some gentlemen use to disqualify a provider from a session. One of my coworkers, and also a fellow hobbyist like myself, has an "order of provider turn-off different from me." For him, the most beautiful provider is a turn-off for him if she has even the smallest amount of body odor that he picks up on during the session. On the other hand, I enjoy the natural scent of a woman and even enjoy the smell and lick armpits of a provider during the session. It's arousing for me to smell a woman in bed after making love to her.

Here are my provider turn-offs in priority of importance to me:

Being overweight

Being over 40 years old (time to hang your boots up and get a 9 to 5 job).

Bad teeth and bad breath

Seeing a provider undress from old and nasty possibly soiled undergarments.  I saw many civie girlfriends wear these dirty blood-stained , fecal stained (skid marks) and semen stained panties when I was in college. Since they were college students, they have no money. On the other hand, Providers make enough money to buy inexpensive panties from Victoria's Secret  to throw out after two or three uses unless they are dirty pigs.

Looking ghetto or "white ghetto" in style  of dressing and wearing a mouthpiece gold or platinum grill.

Permed hair on blond women

Having really long and point noses that can knock and eye out.

Extreme number of tattoos especially on the breasts and stomach.  

You other hobbyists can chime in with your level of turn off for a provider

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RealityBites847 reads

Here are my provider turn-offs in priority of importance to me:
 
Seen Udo :D

Being ultra overweight
 
Being under 30  years old (exceptions made for maturity and brains).
 
Bad teeth and bad breath... bad hygiene.
 
Seeing a provider undress from old and nasty possibly soiled undergarments. That is just gross!
 
Looking ghetto or "white ghetto" in style  of dressing and wearing a mouthpiece gold or platinum grill.

Dressing too slutty, it is called being discreet!
 
Yet again, if seen Udo... three strikes and you are OUT.

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DirtyJesus783 reads

and with the last five turn offs, you've described 80% of the women listed on backpage! You've really limited your options for getting a cheap nut...

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DirtyJesus865 reads

1] BEING FAT! There no reason to pay for something I would screw for free! ("plowing the back forty" is a farmer's duty, but is isn't something he does for pleasure!)

2] Being older than 19yo!  I love the young ones!

3] BIG MOLES ON THE FACE OT BODY! Why do girls spend thousands on makeup and plastic surgery yet ignore the "elephants in the room"? Moles are disgusting and make you look cheap, GET THEM REMOVED!!

4]  Having guy's names tattooed on their bodies, especially on the neck. It's hard to relax and enjoy your time when you've got to keep ne eye on the door for a jealous boyfriend!

5] Herpies sores on the vagina or around the mouth...  

6] A baby crying in the other room while I'm slamming away in his mom...

7] When a guy answers the phone when I call a provider's number.

8] When her hair smells like urine...

9] If she's got burns on her lips on a hot meth/crack pipe!

10] large calves regardless if it's from fat or muscle... YUCK!  

11] I don't like big tits, ESPECIALLY fake tits! A or B-cups are my favorite, a nice C-cup on a properly proportioned girl are ok, but I'm not white-trash (or Dog the Bounty Hunter) so big boobs are a "big turn off" in my book!  Also, there's usually other "body-issues" when the boobs are big; such as large asses, rounded sholders, flabby arms, hunch-back, thick legs, gut-rolls, etc...

12] I don't like perfume on a provider. I prefer her to be clean and unscented. Perfume was created in an era before good hygiene and running water were cultural norms...  

13] Police cars in the parkinglot of her incall!  nothing wrecks my boner quicker than some LE scoping the place out when I arrive

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London Rayne873 reads

I can see why you have zero reviews bwahahhaa. Poor thing. "When her hair smells like urine?" "When a baby is crying in the other room?"  Where are you finding these gems?

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DirtyJesus926 reads

And I've even "Ben" a moderator on several boards in years past, but times change, usernames change, my participation in the culture of whoredom ebbs and flows with those changes...  And my tastes in providers shifts in those sands as well...  

As for where I find my "gems", well typically backpage, sometimes strip club-takeout, Asian massage parlors, the street-corner (all though that's becoming a lost art form in this era) I like amateurs, professional-providers don't really excite me, with the exception of a few washed up pornstars I've stumbled across over the years...  

But just because we each fulfill our "needs" at the extreme-opposite ends of this hobby (and in about as extreme-opposite ways as well) doesn't mean we can't be friends, we'll never have to worry about pleasing each other in bed, since its most unlikely we'd ever meet in that circumstance, but as for these discussion-boards; diversity of culture is a health thing...    

 

Posted By: London Rayne
I can see why you have zero reviews bwahahhaa. Poor thing. "When her hair smells like urine?" "When a baby is crying in the other room?"  Where are you finding these gems?

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London Rayne802 reads

LOL, that is what I thought. So, you'll bang a street walker, drug addict, and a woman who can't afford an incall or a baby sitter, but no one over 19? Got it bwahahaha.

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DirtyJesus784 reads

And actually, it's more common that most people realize for a 19yo to be on her SECOND baby by that age when some or all of those other lifestyle-impediments are at play in her life... We clearly are worlds apart in our experiences with this hobby... Which is to be expected, I'm a pitcher, you're a catcher. Even our fundamental-rolls in this game would keep us from rarely experiencing what the other experiences. Which is the beauty of these boards, glimpses into other peoples worlds that we'd otherwise be ignorant to...

Posted By: London Rayne
LOL, that is what I thought. So, you'll bang a street walker, drug addict, and a woman who can't afford an incall or a baby sitter, but no one over 19? Got it bwahahaha.

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HookerWithAHeartOfTinFoil697 reads

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DirtyJesus582 reads

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HookerWithAHeartOfTinFoil585 reads

Related Link: http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?BoardID=12&SortBy=DateCrea...

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DirtyJesus662 reads

Mine is a username without a space in between... So while It's absurdly obvious that you're, most likely correct, it's not absolute...

That post was a classic! Back when an opinion could be voiced, and lambasted with counter-replies on this board.  True "freedom" of expression, long before the neo-speech-nazis lobotomized the collective-conciseness of this and other boards..

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London Rayne706 reads

Nah, we all knew that lol. He even hinted at it. I want to know who the "c*nt" is bwahahhaa. That was funny, but sad.

-- Modified on 6/20/2013 1:46:21 PM

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HookerWithAHeartOfTinFoil625 reads

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DirtyJesus868 reads

here were three (now banned) providers that were harassing and extorting a couple old hobbyists in Minneapolis and this was a story about their actual lives v/s their projected-life-fantasies that they marketed themselves under... If I cant jog the memory of what her name was, I'll let you know... (I assume by now she's in whatever nursing home old road-whores go to die in, if her drinking hasn't already caught up to her and taken her out...

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anonymousfun799 reads

Let me ask,  

where in the hell do you hang out, rather which street corner?

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Udo821 reads

Why should anyone pay for sex with an older overweight woman?

No Jowls, cellulite, stretch marks and fat rolls for
Me!

Posted By: anonymousfun
Let me ask,  
   
 where in the hell do you hang out, rather which street corner?

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anonymousfun823 reads

What is irrational to you may be rational to them. You ought to know that, there are multitudes of fetishes, this may belong in that category.

I wouldn’t, then again I wouldn’t do a lots of things others might but I don’t think about the why. That is waste of my time.

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