Hello
This is not a post I thought I would write any day in my life. But I thought I should share the sadness I'm going through with somebody... especially since some of you may have been living the same dream, that suddenly turned into a nightmare. A provider I met 5 years ago and with whom I quickly became friend, like very close friends, unexpectedly died of heart failure 3 weeks ago. I won't tell her name, neither her provider's name, and I asked TER and all the other ad sites she was on, to delete all her photos and reviews, to respect her memory and her family wishes. As probably many of you, I'm a normal guy, happily married, with some need for a secret garden. I've been with providers since 2003 I think, in several countries, and never went for it in my homeland, until 2013, when I decided to do an exception. I met a couple of nice providers, and then in the same agency found this amazing lady that I decided to visit. Of course I was paying for her services for the first couple of months, but we quickly both realized there was something more and I invited her several times for a drink or diner, then to see a movie, go to a museum, walk around... and things smoothly moved to another kind of relation... that lasted for 5 years, living amazing moments together, from travelling to just have a quick lunch at her appartment and watch her homeland news on tv. These last weeks she was a bit weak, and having a strong temper she was always thinking more about the others than herself... I was super busy these last couple of weeks, and we only spoke briefly on the phone or by sms, with me delaying the lunch I had promised her every 2 days. And then suddenly her best friend emailed me saying my friend had died the day before. I could not believe it, and still can't. She was too young and too nice to die. She was going to leave the hobby and I was helping her with her lenguage classes and paperwork. And now she's gone. And my heart is broken. And I miss her so much. She was so beautiful, charming, intelligent... So, I'm not here to make anyone feel bad, but on the opposite, whever you just have a one shot booking with a provider, or a regular relation, or develop like me a real close friendship and love, treat them with respect and tell them you love them, and you love being with them. Life is too short. And awfully cruel sometimes...

It's all too true that we're here for a short time and then all that we were goes away. Yes, some folks decry having some kind of an emotional connection with a provider and that's fine for them. I've always found a greater connection with a select few and we acknowledge that there's something more there.

May she rest in peace and may you keep hold of your memories of her.

My heart goes out to you.  A beloved client of mine passed away recently.  He really was an angel, and I'm glad to have known him.  

I hope that you are able to somehow grief in peace.
We all have that special ATF that we cannot tell others about, and when they pass, we grieve and morn in silence.
Hang in there...RIP to your angel.

I'm pretty close to two girls I'm seeing. One of them I never expected to be close to. After she introduced me to her family I knew right then that she likes me. To lose her would be devastating to me. I treasure these two very much. I always tell each of them "I Love You."

but of course, that can never be 100% true, and if you are involved in this hobby long enough, and see people long term, it is inevitable that the grim reaper will take someone you hold dear.

... and reminding us to not wait to tell others that we appreciate them, or even as in this case, love them.

I also lost someone who I considered a friend last Summer. I didn't know her as well as you knew your friend because I've only photographed her a handful of times since 2011. But her passing was tragic and shocking because she was fairly young and she has definitely gone too soon.

For your loss
Treasure the precious moments you have and hold them close. They’ll make you smile in years  to come

She made a man feel like he was the only one; I remained disciplined and only saw her twice a month and always paid her and always accepted her generous offer of additional time on the house.  She died of a drug overdose— totally shocked me.  The only good thing that came of it is getting to know two other hobbiests who also adored her. We drank a lot of beer grieving her passing.

Your story is sad. She was young yes? Died to early and unexpectedly. I wonder how many ladies found out about there clients passing away unexpectedly young or old?

I lost a provider friend in December of 2016. It's hard to explain the pain when you really can't talk to anyone about how you knew this special person. It's tough to grieve and not be able to show any outward emotion. In my case, she was the first and only person that I was sexually involved with that passed away. She was a very nice person and it was heartbreaking. I feel your pain. Better days are ahead.

The hardest thing for me is when I didn't see it coming and couldn't prepare or say goodbye. The only consolation is that the person didn't suffer through a long illness.

I love to sow those secret gardens..

Thanks for your messages. She was too young to die. Of course I remember all the great moments we had together. And she will be in my heart forever. I wished I could have spent more time with her...

I had a client I was very close for couple years to and he die of cancer. Sucks! He was a great, great gentleman!  
Always super respectful of the time, boundaries, a truly sweetheart, always make me laugh! Good times!!

For some of us, the hobby is more than that.  Condolences, man.

The hobby world is a kind of "insular" universe...unfortunately it is not immune to the pain and sorrow of the real world. Stay strong and cherish the memories you had with her.

I just recently lost a great friend that was a provider in Atlanta.  I miss her so much!! 😢 we would talk for hours and enjoyed dinning together, bitching to each other, sharing fumny stories and I always trusted her advice.  I can't believe she is gone now 😭
Ya just never know when the person you are with will be gone. Cherish each moment! Remember her smile, her laugh and be thankful you knew am angel. There aren't many on this earth.  
Love
TL

Sorry to hear this news and hopefully time will heal your pain.

Yeah, I should have and I regret not doing so. I know that some will not understand but her death really fucked me up for a long time. It's weird seeing someone in a certain capacity and then within a week or so not being able to even talk with them anymore. I know that her death and the circumstances surprised many and I am for sure one of them. That kind of pain really sucks.

TL, I am very sorry for your loss. True friends are few and far between. When they pass, a void is left that can never be filled. You have memories of both good and bad times. The memories will never leave you. Take care and I hope time will ease your pain.