I'm curious about opinions of providers asking for TER handles as a screening tool. I've read here many times hobbyists consider it a no-no to devulge, yet over the past month or so I've been asked several times to give it out.
I suppose *maybe* if a hobbyist gives out only the handle, and nothing else, it may be a safe practice. Otherwise, if handle and personal information is requested - that's obviously too much info.
Opinions vary, of course, but I fail to see how giving one's handle along with verifiable info like a name and a work phone number is "too much info."
Personally, I don't ask for anyone's handle. But I have found many of my TER clients offer it before we meet so I can see their reviews and some of their posts; in other words, so I can get a better feeling for what they like and expect in a session. These clients clearly feel it's a benefit for them.
On the other hand, I would never see someone based on his TER handle alone. Like the previous thread where a hobbyist was complaining that Eros doesn't screen their advertising escorts-- TER doesn't screen their member-hobbyists. A membership here certainly doesn't insure that any given hobbyist will be a gentleman.
Without any supporting information such as a verifiable name, a provider would have little recourse in case of a rape, assault, robbery or worse.
When you're dealing with a well-established provider with multiple pages of good reviews (like myself, honestly), you have no reason to fear that she will be indiscreet. Rather you should rejoice that she takes her business and your mutual safety seriously enough to screen carefully.
Hobby on with a happy heart. We're here to make you WANT to return.
"but I fail to see how giving one's handle along with verifiable info like a name and a work phone number is too much info"
In the above situation where a lady knows both your TER handle AND your real name, probably a phone number, and God knows what else, the hobbyist can literally be held hostage by a lady.
Bad appointment, write it up, but be prepared to face retaliation. NCNS, post it, but again...
No, it doesn't happen frequently, but it does happen. It has happened to me. There is no justification and no worse feeling for the married hobbyist to receive a phone call AT HOME from a lady because she is afraid of what you MIGHT say.
Sorry about the alias, but I don't need the grief.
Don't think for a second that all us providers are made from the same mold. If you check the said providers reviews and just listen to how they comment or ask questions on these boards I'm sure you can get a feel for the type of person she is. Of Every Hobbyist that has contacted ME...they have been trusting enough to give me the information I needed to verify them. AND I might add...have been VERY very satisfied that they had. THAT is why you do your research. It's not gonna fall in your lap and be that easy. I still have many of my hobbyist friends personal information, but that is used just to verify their future appointments with me. NOT to call their wife and cause problems.
Of course your opinion is going to be that it isnt too much info to give out one's handle and other verifiable info like a name and a work phone number.
You ARE A PROVIDER !!!!
When does a PROVIDER complain that they get too much personal or work info before an appt ?
Is this english 101 ? I feel like someone has just learned to write a paper.
for being adult enough to see the other side's POV.
It's a shame that so many people, both providers and hobbyists can only see things from their own perspective. Your post, coming from a provider is a breath of fresh air.
You are going off the subject matter to another subject matter. You are missing the point which was " Otherwise, if handle and personal information is requested - that's obviously too much info. "
You then stated that there is no such thing as too much information - well I agree that there is no such thing as too much info
- as you are a provider like I am and of course you are going to say that.
I am busting your chops ... you wrote a paper on here - your thoughts are nice and well organized - it just reminded me of english 101.
is if your session is less than desired and you write a less than favorable review, the lady in question will have no doubts as to who wrote the review. Retaliations for bad reviews, while rare are not unheard of. Anyone that tries to tell you otherwise is either new or disingenuous.
I don't want you to get the idea that I think this possibilty is likely. As long as you stay with well reviewed providers the chances of this happening are not great, but it does happen, even with with reviewed providers.
I have encountered this incident in the past which is why many of us are starting to keep our handles to ourselves for review purposes. I reviewed one girl on another board and she went crying, claiming that she did not recongize my email or handle. UHHH DUH...that's because you sucked and I was not about to review you under the same handle that you knew about along with all my personal info. This really annoys me about some women and what they can get away with!
I am pretty new to TER but I will be damned if I tell another provider who the hell I am. The great thing about this board is it allows accurate reviews to be written....good or bad. Some boards make it too easy for the provider to have all great reviews when on several occasions she does not live up to them! If she is a great provider who has a bad day, I can understand but the poor shmuk that had to pay her to deal with it should have a right to say so. It says that she is YMMV and that not everybody will get the same treatment. To me, that is like a crap shoot because you never know if you will be the one who gets a half ass session depending on her mood.
A provider may use it not only to verify your presence on discussion boards and White List referrals but it may also help her create a session to your liking, eliminating guesswork about your preferences or needs. Early in my time as a provider I frequently read all of the reviews of guests so that I could "handcraft" sessions for those who disclosed their handles to much success.
The downside is a provider may pointedly avoid you and/or drop your correspondence if she finds that you have a "colorful" review history as a tough grader, hype-criticism or have other undesirable tendencies that crop up in the body of some reviewers.
between being a jerk and being a hard reviewer. Many, maybe even most reviewers give out eights and nines to any woman that doesn't break a mirror by simply viewing herself in it. You can almost, I say almost not fault a lady for avoiding reviewers that actually tell the truth.
Let's face we are all human beings, and all of us have our faults. He asked a question from a hobbyist's perspective, I am trying to give him an answer from that side of the issue. I don't review and I am not married so none of this directly applies to me, but if I were,I doubt that I would give both my Personal info and my handle to a lady I had not yet met.
No, I mean jerks. I mean men who actually ENJOY putting everybody down. Women and men. Men who enjoy arguing on the boards. Men who write 3's and 4's for ladies who are not ugly. I'm sure some men are hard reviewers. I see some 8's and 9's given for 6's and 7's, 8's and 9's for woman who crack a mirror? Your grossly exaggerating. I see plenty of women who are 9's receive 7's.
In the states, top women are particular about who they see. They have a choice and require information. I'm glad this isn't a 3rd world country were we have very little choice.
The man asked a question, and I gave him my slant on it, I am hardly exaggerating. I see 8s and 9s all the time for women that I wouldn't be seen with on a bet.
Of course there are jerks, but I wasn't referring to them. It is a fact that some women will do their best to avoid men that routinely give out lower scores. Even you can't refute that.
You said it perfectly "men who routinely give out lower scores". What does that say about that reviewer? Maybe a self esteem issue within himself?
Occasionally, you may see this. You are wrong, a lady who averages a 9 is not someone not to be seen with. Maybe to you. Maybe you have a different view of beauty. Beauty is subjective but majority calls it.
Where did I say a lady who "averages a 9" is someone not to be seen with?
A reviewer is entitled to his own opinion, we should be encouraging reviewers to be honest, not just echo the sentiments of others.
A self esteem issue? I am beginning to think that you are arguing just to be argumentative.
Maybe you could take a lesson from Lisa Butler's post from above. Now that's a lady who is secure enough in her own attributes to be able to see both sides. I am sure she deserves the high scores she gets, why would we want to cheapen those scores by applying them to every other woman, just because a hobbyist did not want to incur the wrath of a provider he just did not click with, or did not find particularly attractive.
You didn't. But you basically said so many 8's and 9's are running around that could break a mirror.
Cheapen the scores? Some men do. Look at LB (who looks lovely). Why would someone give her a 6 or 7? Those are probably jerks to stay away from. Point made. End.
but I completely support his right to express his opinion without women like you calling him a jerk for being honest.
You have basically made my point, first off that there are potential consequences to revealing your handle, and secondly that you are arguing to be argumentative.
On one thing we do agree, this conversation has become pointless, I also have nothing furter to say on the sucject. To you at least.
Listen, while you may judge some women to be certain scores, not every man shares that.
I think some of these men are too hard on girls- they say rude things even in reviews in retaliation just as frequently as there are providers who retaliate with their wrath. I've even recently seen that wrath, but aside from some mild bitching, I shake it off and go, well, everyone can make up their own mind and I've got a track record to prove differently. Ultimately no big deal.
If you guys really want to do each other a service, write your reviews and if someone who likes your specific type finds your review, maybe he'll be encouraged to try the same lady. A wide variety is helpful to you guys I think. To each their own- not everyone shares your standards of beauty.
However, your own reviews and posts on here are also helpful to a lady in determining whether she'd click with you. I like to use handles as part of screening and find it absolutely essential to see if we'd click or I'll be running out the door in tears 5 minutes in... On the other side of the coin, my handle is helpful to you guys to determine whether you think you'd have fun with me. It works both ways...
I think you should back off of her, though, as she's not arguing with you to be rude and disruptive, but rather stating an opinion. The ad hominem attack (a course in reading comprehension) is really uncalled for. You can state your point in opposition to hers without being rude to her personally.
I think it might call into question some reviewers motives... I am against on principle. Screen the right way and not with the BS alias profile created here...
When the gent had no verifiable reference, I've asked if they were active on any forums, and their screen name. However it usually turns out when they have no reference, they don't socialize on the forums either. I do it strictly as a point of reference and I don't substitute my screening process.
I’ve seen reviews by some guys that give lower scores, but the essay portion is quite complimentary. It seems their interpretation of the numerical value significance is lower than the norms. I think that if a reviewer has a reputation as a “low scorer”, it could hurt his future chances with some providers. Maybe my viewpoint is jaded, but I generally think that most guys tend to give numerical scores slightly high. Then of course I’ve seen essay’s where a reviewer reveals personality traits about himself that most any provider would be glad to know before deciding to accept an appointment.
Slightly off topic, but I also think that for providers that have lots and lots of very high scores it can be even more difficult for some reviewers to be totally honest when rating her numerically on a day when she didn’t bring her “A game”. This is why it is so much more important to read the essay portions and not rely on the numerical ratings for making final decisions.
Personally, I try to avoid giving out my TER handle. I gravitate to providers that don’t ask for it. I sometimes provide it after we’ve already “connected” and it’s clear she is trying to connect even further. If a provider has a spot for it in her request form, I’ll usually leave it blank. There’s no way for her to know that I’ve even heard of TER, right? If she DEMANDS my TER handle I move on. Well OK, all except for once for someone that I REALLY wanted to see.
I PREFER a TER/TZR handle and references from 2 well known providers over the work thing.
Knowing you work just assures me you most likely arent LE, it doesnt tell me if youre rude, nasty, will rip me off, or have a serious physical issue i might need to know about to make a decision
All it does, really, is tell providers what you've been writing over the years. It should be optional, because few guys have any presence on the boards, or blogs concerning the hobby.
1) Anyone could claim to be me, but that also requires the provider to be extra gullible.
2) Someone could create a new handle that appears to be very similar, but upon close examination would be seen to be not the same.
The only method a provider has at her disposal to verify my TER identity is to request a TER PM and then scrutinize the name closely. Many do not have PM privileges.
But from a practical standpoint I agree that a TER Handle is a very poor method of identification.
When I look up a gent's reviews, I see a glimpse into his personality- is he a nitpicking asshole who finds something wrong with every lady he's ever seen and will harangue you about something stupid, is he a gentleman who will flirt with you, take his time to make it a comfortable event, is he a rough guy, is he a sick fuck between the sheets?
There's lots to be learned from reviews... A handle tells a lady a lot when you've got reviews to read that can tell us virtually anything.
If they do a white list search using my hobbying email address, they've got it. It's a virtually foolproof confirmation method actually. Someone else can claim to be my handle, but they can't use my email address to contact a provider.
I ask for the info I need to feel safe. If you choose to mention ter and try to hide your handle, I get suspicious... what do you have to hide? There are ways I can find this out anyways. If you try to only provide your handle and not the rest of the info I need, then I am also suspicious.
I like to know who I'm dealing with. Considering that there are plenty of men willing to do that, I find the guys who try to hide info (I mean, the basics like your name) pretty much screwing themselves because they certainly won't be screwing me.
Seriously, this is all about trust. If you don't trust the lady you want to see to be careful with your info, why see her at all? Hell, I don't give a crap what you do or how important you think you are, you're not getting around the info I need if you want to see me. I don't care if you're a public figure or a celebrity or some guy who's a ceo. I want to know who I'm dealing with.
I have no problem providing any and all info asked of me to a well respected provider I'd like to meet. I wouldn't even be trying to meet a provider if I had any reason to feel uncomfortable giving that person my info.
You should TRUST US Enough with your personal information! I mean, COME ON! TRUST goes BOTH ways people! We as providers are entrusted to you the most intimate parts of us, and you don't wanna tell us yer handle? Seems like your just trying to hide something. You all see my handle everyday, and gawk at myself draped across a bed spread in various intimate positions, and you just want us to take yer word your ok? Gotta do better than that baby.
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... you wrote a paper on here - your thoughts are nice and well organized - it just reminded me of english 101.
On the other side of the coin, my handle is helpful to you guys to determine whether you think you'd have fun with me. It works both ways...