I find that dates that are booked in advance & paid in full prior to the date are better. After being in this wonderful industry for over two decades I don’t, like asking for the donation bringing out the counterfeit pen to check the bills. I do enjoy having my time paid in full way before the time & date it makes the time shared flow freely without having to ever discuss money. I have had nothing, but great experiences.

I am sure you would as would every provider. You hat being said I have only had to discuss money when on leaving provider ended up asking for it. When opening the shared bottle of wine the envelope was still in the bag she through in the garbage.
A shared good laugh.

I am sure you would undertsand why we would not want to do that. I dont have an issue with deposits up to 25% or so but I would never totally pre-pay a session. That is a bridge way too far for me. It's not the norm, nor the etiquette and would make me feel very uncomfortable doing so.

in the few times i have been foolish enough to pre pay ...    the girl   --  moved out of town 2 weeks later  //  she found a Sugar Daddy and stopped returning my calls //  incorrectly said that i had used up the deposit //  it was a gift not a deposit ...    

those girls are either now out of the biz or not reviewed here ..   a couple were on TER but are no longer.  

so sadly,  nope not doing it .. nor a deposit.   i think that some lady's policy of requiring a deposit IF the first time is missed  without a reasonable reason .. or black listing ..  is more appropriate.    

In the early days of Covid, I loaned several providers I know money to pay their rent the first few months while business was slow and the moron customers figured out they were not going to die if they kept seeing their providers.   All of them paid me back within a year except one.  Business for her was slow to recover so I agreed to take my repayment in trade.  It's the same as if I had prepaid for 12 sessions in advance, in full, which I received over the course of 4 months.  However, this was a lady I knew well enough to loan money to in the first place, so I was not worried about the ultimate outcome.  

 
Would I do this with someone I barely knew?  Absolutely not.  I agree with you that it CAN work under the right circumstances, but I would generally advise against it.  There has already been one thread recently started by a provider who admitted that she took a substantial deposit, used it to pay her rent and then ghosted the customer.  For every provider that would act honorably in this situation, there are an equal number who will cheat the customer, so buyer beware.

I had booked her for a session in LV during AVN week when a bunch of friends and I were throwing a M&G. She needed the money up front to get her car fixed.  She was also going to the M&G and knew all my friends so I was comfortable she wouldn't welsh on me. And she didn't.

are many honorable providers who always keep their word when it comes to money, and If QB says she is one of them, I have no reason to doubt her.  But like you, the number of cringeworthy posts here from guys getting the shaft from the dishonest ones militates in favor of being extra careful, and that is why I don't generally even pay deposits.  The lone exceptions for me is a deposit for an extended session of 4 hours or more or a double that includes a provider I have not met yet, but I don't even book these with ladies I don't know well, so I believe a deposit in these instances is a reasonable request.

But as a client that has no intention of ever using counterfeit bills, I say bring out the pen.  It doesn't bother me one bit.  I stopped seeing one of the ladies I saw on the regular because she went to a pre-paid format.  

I’m sure prepaid dates are the best lmao. Start asking for multiple prepays that’s even better 😂

... Take out order.  

 
I have never discussed money ever, and I have been doing this for 20+ yrs..  Not sure what world you live in..

END OF MESSAGE

As in real name and we've had multiple sessions.
I prepaid 3 sessions with an ATF because she was light on cash before a vacation.  Of course she offered a nice discount in return.

Providers often want screening information, like full name, address, etc., that they are not willing to give about themselves.  I might be persuaded to give more information about myself if she is giving me the same information about herself, but that seldom happens.  

I have read several discussions of deposits and pay in advance dates.  Only once have I read one in which the person who paid anything in advance saw or even heard from the supposed provider again.

If you can get the business you want that way, that's great.  But you are in the minority and lots of others have spoiled it for you.

I am the same way. I don't like to ask for pre-payment, but sometimes you got to stand your ground, because some clients try to pull tricks on you so that they don't have to pay the full amount.

However, this is not something I will do with just anyone. Although the risk is lower, sometimes you can still get burned  by a reputable provider, so I can't  condemn  guys who refused to do this. I usually have my envelope in a place of her choosing.Some women  wanted it placed in the bathroom, some wanted it in plain sight upon arrival, some wanted to be handed it upon arrival. I always take care of business before not after.

Nope, nope, and nope.

That is very kind of you. I just wanted to acknowledge that. I appreciate the gesture you made on all their behalf's! Chivalry lives!!

100%

This happens more often than people know.

I am not a 1-hour shag-&-bag guy and always invest at least 2-hours both local and touring gals. And repeat dates are often extended dates. For repeat and extended dates - yes, I believe pre-pay can be super helpful.

Yes, our relationship is 100% transactional. But if we’re meeting for the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time - I think there’s huge benefit to reduce or eliminate the transactional part of our relationship - the envelope. It enables both of us to focus on the experience and not the transaction.

But, I think my habits blur the line between monger and sugar.

I’m surprised that nobody has pointed out the risk that electronic payments carry for clients who keep this world secret and for providers generally.  

I personally won’t do them in this world at all.

Why? It creates a digital record of the transaction.  Every payment company builds a file on their customers.  Whenever something appears suspicious a human being investigates it at least briefly and makes a note in the file.  If it’s a large amount of money, and we’re just talking a couple thousand dollars here, they are legally obligated to file a suspicious activity report with the department of treasury.  In addition, there’s now record of it that you need to account for and pay taxes on, from the provider’s perspective.  

But mostly, I’m giving my partners my “client name” and have been for 18 years.  And providers give me their “provider name.”  That’s nice for both of us, I’m not worried about what could happen down the road and she isn’t either.  I know we all seem awesome to each other when we meet up but things can change.  

I have a few ironclad protocols to keep my worlds from crossing. One of the most important ones is that I don’t reveal anything that would allow somebody to identify me.  Sending a PayPal payment or a Zelle payment or Venmo (or any of them) is a non-starter. Every one of the services reveal specific information about you to your transaction partner, including usually your email address and legal name, and often address.

Even if that data isn’t revealed by a service now, you’re assuming they never will. And assuming that their data isn’t going to get hacked.  And assuming that they’ll never be subpoenaed and forced to give it up.  And assuming that they aren’t filing a report on the transaction with the government.  

And yeah, bitcoin feels anonymous but there’s actually a public record of the transaction from your digital wallet to hers. if you ever publish that wallet address associated with your real name or she puts her wallet address on her website, it will be very clear to anyone looking at your transaction history that you paid her.  

I have had to pass up appointments with providers that I’m sure I would’ve had a wonderful time with because I won’t send an electronic deposit. But I won’t.  I’d be more likely to put cash in an envelope and mail it than do one of those.  But I generally choose not to do that too, after one of my very early forays into this world involved me sending $500 in cash to a B list porn star I had a crush on so she could buy a plane ticket. I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear that I never saw her.  

And to be clear, I think 99 out of 100 — or maybe even 999 out of 1000 — women working in this space would absolutely not ruin my life with that data… at least while they are still working.  But I don’t really like those odds given the importance of keeping it secret, to me.  And you never know how peoples lives change, whether they’ll always value their reputation in this space, or what pressures they might be under from a partner, or a collections agency, or a hospital where their kid’s getting expensive treatments. You also have to assume that their husbands, if married, have access to a joint account — and don’t care about your secrets.  

Too many things can go wrong.

So no prepay for me — unless I mail cash or pay someone I trust for a future visit to help out, in cash — and it’s not even because I’m worried about getting ripped off for the payment. It’s the long term I’d worry about. And who wants to carry that worry forever?

-- Modified on 10/28/2024 4:46:08 AM

I only did it once too, but it was a lot less noble and less successful. I sent a “porn star” (three or four videos where she gets banged in a van… that kind of porn star) $500 to fly to me on a trip in cash. By the time she didn’t show up, I was pretty sure she wasn’t going to,so it wasn’t even that disappointing

I appreciate the perspective your provided, that makes sense too me. In fact that was why I was so hesitant to take to accept electronic payment, the trail it leaves for both of us. But since I am have a registered LLC and pay taxes I have learned somethings that have been helpful and electronic payment is some people preference, so I am adapting it.  
mailing cash-seems like tricky option too but its actually a brilliant idea too.

I understand both perspectives here but I think there are ways around this.

 
From a client's side you can send electronic payments by using a prepaid debit cards. You pay for the card with cash and then send a picture of the back of the card to the provider. They can use the codes to redeem the cash. Avoid using amazon gift cards, they will flag suspicious accounts and activity. CashApp is much more anonymous as well. When you send cash the other side will only see your username. CashApp has a record of the transaction, but the other party doesn't have your information like they would with zelle or paypal.  

 
From a provider's perspective it will probably help you since you are setting up an LLC. I've heard sex workers have a hard time proving income, which makes it hard for them to get apartments, loans and credit cards. Paying taxes will also matter later when it comes time to collect social security (if it is still there for us lol). You just need a good accountant and a good cover story. Having a lot of cash payments would appear troublesome and present an audit risk. Having electronic payments (along with a few "invoices") makes you appear legitimate.

Taking electronic payments is never an issue.  An LLC is not needed, but works well. To be an entrepreneur one would need to established a fictitious business at the very least. My subscription platform is ran via my photography business because it allows me the ability to write off all expenses, like make up, lingerie & photoshoots. I get 30% off at MAC makeup for having an adult nude entertainment license &/or having press pass credentials. Tips of the trade. I also, hire my young photographers in training to capture fun images it’s a win win.  

I highly recommend having a great accountant. I’ve had my same accountant for two decades. She is an old girlfriend of mine we used to have lots of fun before creating our tribes lol. 😂 Adaptation is key, but paying taxes is mandatory. Smile for me!

But if I recall accurately, you're not in a position of much risk if you were to be outed as some pervert that "pays for it".  Risk as in career abatement or marriage ending and half of what you built (not including lawyers fees and unintended capital gain liabilities) was taken from you.  

Pretty tough to throw on a wig, rename and start over after that, lol!

PP GIFT cards used to work but I don't know the current status. Let me be clear: do NOT use PayPal for payments. PP makes its own rules about using PP for some purposes and NOT for other purposes. If they suspect P4P their rules allow them to close your account and seize the balance.  
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What I DO mean is PP GIFT CARDS. You used to be able to buy PP Gift Cards in a brick and mortar store for anonymous cash. You give the card or the numbers to the payee and she can deposit it into her PP account. To PP, it's a birthday present from grandma or some other innocent money transfer.
.
Are there still PP Gift Cards? Do they still work the way I described?

Well written and I share many of those sentiments.  I've said many times that so many of the ladies I have met doing this have been nothing but sincere and honorable.  Most people are...until some event that makes a good person do bad things.  At that point, any man that has given up his PII may be nothing more than a walking annuity.   Even that is considered very low risk from my point of view.  The much greater risk lies in who may ultimately gain access to this information.  Ex boyfriends/roomies or random hackers are what would keep me up at night.  

Correctamundo!

I am so far beyond sending a picture holding my driver's license, etc.

Lately, I've had my eye on a totally hot prospect who requires all of this BS.  I replied in email that I understand her need to be safe, but won't send a gov't ID. I also said I could easily provide ten, at least, recent reviews from well-known providers.

Long story short, she replied requesting one provider reference.  

Moral of the story? It never hurts to ask!

ATTB

isn't always going to be perfect for them when asking for the moon for screening.  Most just need to find a level of comfort, and I have found, like you have, that many providers will negotiate a middle ground rather than taking a hard line that results in them losing the business.  

pressure from that quarter, but I'm not retired yet, so my profession WOULD be impacted by loose talk or an LE bust where I was outed as a monger.  I have been married more than once, but never cheated DURING a marriage.  I will agree with you that it's a huge risk for married hobbyists.