Using an alias for obvious reason. I met a beautiful, intelligent, fun women through match.com. Had a first date and it was great - good conversation - really clicked and agreed to continue to see each other. During the date she told me she was planning on returning to modeling work which she had done in the past and showed me some glamor shots she had recently taken. The shots had a prominent photographers watermark on them. After the date I went to the photographers website because I wanted to have one of the photos (didn't think she would mind since she showed them to me). Anyway, found the photo and it was credited to a "professional" name. Curiosity got the better of me so I googled the name to see what other modeling she had done in the past. After googling the professional name it comes up with info that 9 - 10 years ago she did a hand full of single and girl/girl porn and also did some nude modelling for a couple of porn sites - really not a big deal to me. However, it also came up that she has worked as an escort it seems in a very low volume capacity ( a hand full of reviews (less than 10 total) spanning the last 6 or 7 years, the most recently being earlier this year.

Bring it up when you know her very well and have a solid relationship.

I would give her a chance to tell me first.  I'd wait until we'd seen each other a few times and it was clear the relationship had a chance to go someplace.  Then I'd say it was time to share our deep, dark secrets with each other.  You could then make her comfortable by telling her you'd seen providers and have a lot of respect for them.  Then see if she fronts it.  If she does, fine.  If she doesn't, re-evaluate.

Show her yours before you suggest that she show you hers.

even if she never mentions her work as an escort, I would not let myself be dissuaded if everything else about her is a go.

After all, it really doesn't matter to you (Does it?), and you have to expect that she has to be reticent to say anything about it if she really likes you.

It falls under the no foul, no harm rule, as far as I'm concerned.

to have a "match" with and long term relationship with.

it's all theoretical until it happens to you.  Then all advice goes out the window, including mine.  But what I like about this game is (as I've said before) it works the opposite of civvie dating where you get to know each other for several dates before you fuck.  Here, you fuck and, if you click, then you get to know each other and a strictly professional relationship can morph into a friendship.  It's happened several times for me and it can be a lot of fun.

I really don't think you should bring it up.

+1

When the time is right and things are further along maybe you go first.  Sometimes we earn trust by giving it.  Broach the subject with an introductory comment about your libertarian views about how what consenting adults do is no one else's business.

Does she swallow , is she really bi and does she do anal ! Other than that who cares , also if you guys become a couple and $ are an issue you nnow she can make extra cash ! Also , guard your knowledge for the the divorce ! Dude your golden , pm some kf the reviewers and double check her performance though . Good luck ! Also get to jnow her girlfriends and tell her your fantasy is a 3 way !  

Some ladies are terrified about opening up that they were ever a prostitute, and rightfully so. So many guys get weirded out over the fact that a woman was once a hooker, even guys that frequent hookers. It's a double standard that very few guys can deal with.

In short I wouldn't put her in a position where she might think she has to lie. I would just tell her flat out that you inadvertently stumbled across the truth and that you are fine with it.

Keep in mind that the OP didn't meet this lady as a hooker. You've been around these boards long enough to know what a bunch of judgmental hypocrites "hobbyists" can be.  Why put her in a position where she might feel the "need to be dishonest. I say to the OP let her off the hook and reassure her that you are fine with it.

Actually, it confuses the hell out of me. LOL!

Dump her ! She has active profiles, told u shes a "model" and is looking for a SUCKER on match ? Yeah okay ! She should have buried her past , got a real job then started looking for a guy ! You got a GAME PLAYER ! Good luck !!!!!

If she brings it up to you..then that is her choice to share a part of her past with you.

Don't say a thing. I have a feeling things are going to come around

We all have a right to our secrets. Let her have hers.

Or come apart lol

Just to be clear - I of course don't plan on saying anything until and unless the relationship develops. That was the premise of my question. Obviously, if we have a few dates, have a good time but decide it isn't something that is long term there is no reason to ever bring the subject up. I guess I am just one of those people that thinks through all potential possibilities - that's why i brought the subject up here. London, you are someone that I've read a lot on here and respect that you "tell it like you see it". So with that said, if you were in this situation and the relationship had developed to the point of truly being a SO would you want your man to tell you that he knew or would you prefer not knowing that he knew?

If it were me in your shoes I'd be very excited, but I admit I'm quite bent. I'd love to hear stories of her escorting. One of my favorite providers has a SO that she tells me is so perverted that he'd be hiding in the closet watching if he could. I'd be the same way if my girl was escorting, then again I don't have a girl. Go figure huh?

Is that better?

And vice versa if she knows you hobby. If you are both active, odds are neither of you will quit just to be together. Unless you plan on handing over a couple hundred thousand dollars of replacement income each year. And then you both kill your TER handles, email accounts, P411 profiles, etc.  

Yes, that is the Gambler we were looking for.  Welcome back.

but I am back fucker. lmao

and not every hobbyist is a pig who can't quit.

I've dated a many, many providers over the years and never thought aobut killing my TER account, and it was NEVER an issue, TER discussion boards are a completely different issue than having sex with other women. Speaking strictly for myself, I have no problems not sleeping with other women when being in a committed relationship, EVEN if that relationship is with a sex worker who by necessity is having sex with other men.

That said, I probably would have a proble making a lifelong committment to never have sex with another woman which is why I doubt I will every marry again. I really don't want to be a lying cheating husband, and I don't want a lifetime of monogamy either.

As for the article, not bad, but I could probably write a better one. I am pretty sure I have more experience than the author. lol

Wait till she finds out he's on TER.com. Watch WANTS become WANTS NOT. But maybe not. Who knows?

-- Modified on 9/22/2013 9:38:31 PM

IMO , After only one date he sounds like a potential stalking clingon .  
  I have a feeling things will come unwound .
   Would you want a guy who fed his need to ask the board , what to do with you ?    
     
   

But, from a chick's point of view, SO WHAT
I am all about placing your cards on the table when walking into a "permanent" relationship... things that are necessary for you to know. At the same time I draw the line at my past. And that life seems to be her PAST. If her past caused her to have a life-threatening disease or condition or perhaps her credit score is unattractive (yes )...other than that, there is NO OTHER information you need from her.

It is pretty fair assumption today that when a couple meets and a relationship begins to get serious that:

If things become serious and you feel as though she should confess to you that she was an escort, will you then confess to her that you have paid escorts? Perhaps you should confess your sins to her first......

That's the difference. You ARE a hobbyist....she IS a provider. It's clear you are both in this lifestyle, so it just might work out fine. I would never date a hobbyist, nor would I date at all pretending I was not an escort in the midst of advertising myself as single on match.com

She is a low volume provider who only gets a new review every so often, meaning she very well could still be working.

Your not Mr. Perfect ....NO one is.  continue to date and see if you see any red flags....if not, continue to date until you see red flags.....continue to date until you find out shes crazy....Then RUN for the hills and change your cell number.   Just kidding.....have fun, don't judge, and be easy going....who knows....just have FUN

LOW VOLUME???   come on....whats does that mean.  It's like when you start dating a guy and he says "I've been with a hand full of women"  WTF does that mean?   And if a women says "I've been with 7 guys", multiply that by 5.   We all have pasts and all love to fuck, have sex, and get crazy.,

I agree-if you harbor your knowledge of her secret you know she is harboring her secret wondering if you will find out....so clear the air in a positive way as was outlined.  It can't actually hurt anything unless.....you are mistaken about her background.........

Easy enough for her to either still be working, or dropped off the map. It's not like a gal with 10 pages of reviews over 5 years.

Do you really expect this FIDIOT to grasp even the simplest of concepts?

...and just something she does on the side for extra money.  So easy enough for her to stop. But even if its her full time gig, its totally possible that she would stop.  But that is up to her and something that no one can venture to make guesses on until they start talking about being exclusive.  

You say you like her. If I was you, I wouldn’t tell her thing because at this stage neither you nor her know where you two are going to end up. Let us say, you two fall in love and get married or whatever, still I wouldn’t tell her that I know her past.  

I wouldn’t tell her anything. Why bring it up if she doesn’t know? Too risky depending on your intentions.