So suppose you stumble across her real name online,  first and last, with pics, it’s 100% her... should you tell her? She’s gotta know it’s out there  online but would it be better to just keep it silent or let her know others might see it at some point too? They work so hard to protect their ID... what to do???

I guess it really depends on how you 'stumbled" upon it.

Found an ad, googled the email listed in the ad and the second search result was some fastpeoplesearch.com pages with all sorts of data. Name, phone numbers used, current and previous addresses, and her relatives.

It was really just an odd freak deal, my wife actually found something... im laying in bed and hear this laugh/voice that I know well and think oh shit.... look up and bang, she’s on my TV... wife knew nothing but viola, it was her and with her real name... I just keep it cool, what are you watching...  
I think I’ll just keep this one in the vault, no need to make an issue of it.
My only real concern is if she would want to know to protect her ID from someone else stumbling across it...
Thanks for the input!

"No good deed goes unpunished"

And, what kind of relationship I have with her and what type of personality she has.

I met a provider that gave too much info about herself . . . and linked to an article that she had written, where they used her pseudonym BUT some articles had her real name.  As a provider she had at least 3 names, so I figured she took her privacy seriously enough.  I revealed the leak in email between our first and second date as a BTW thing.  She was cool about it, because it was her error.  If they are serious about their privacy, I think they would prefer to know . . . eventually they will give away too much info for too long and get noticed.

Do it anonymously.

If its a girl I have only seen once or twice, I would keep my mouth shut, because no matter how innocently you "stumbled" onto the info, there is at least a 50/50 chance she will think you're some kind of creepy stalker, and you don't want her spreading a claim like that around Hookerville.  

Hopefully she blurs her face or keeps it out off her pics completely as a lady in the biz.

If you did stumble across such a thing, there's no way in hell you should tell her. She's going to think you're some crazy stalker and you're going to end up on blacklists.

I think this is best solution.

I learned this the hard way very early on. I saw a provider who was pretty hot shit, but her website was a dumpster fire. Like I made better looking sites on geocities back in the day. So, I spun up a site for her that looked great, added all her content/pricing/pictures, and sent her an email link saying that I'd be happy to send her all the admin credentials, teach her how to use it, and pay for 6 months of hosting to get her started. Basically a turnkey modern website, for free, no strings attached.

youtube

not going to say anything at this time, unless it comes up by her... otherwise i think i like the anonymous thought the best, put together a quick burner email and it's done.

good point GA!

Many years ago I saw the real name of a provider I saw often listed on a website which is now defunct.  She reached out to them to have her name removed but as far as I know they never did.

A certain provider used one phone for both her personal and professional life.  I put her number in my smartphone, and a couple days later I got a Facebook friend  suggestion that was obviously her, under her real name. I didn't say anything,  though. If she wants to be careless, that's her problem.

I really don't think it's a big deal unless you start blabbing it to others. I have known the the real names of three providers. One I found out by accident and the other two gave me their real names after several visits I would never ask anyone their real name but it can be a good thing to know each other's real names. If a situation occurs that involves the "authorites" they will often ask one party for the other party's name. Knowing it will make the situation resolve easier