I am a hobbiest and a nice guy at that. My question is that I have been stood up by more than a few providers already. (i.e got to this corner and call me when you get there, call me tomorrow, call me back in two hours, etc. when I do, it's voicemail or no answer at all!) Just recently I met a new provider out of a local ad. She did that a couple times to me, but we finally met. When we did meet, she was very nervous and told me she was very hesistant about meeting and almost cancelled. The reason: she thought I was LE! What made her think that: I was slow at responding back to her and asking questions (not explicit though). Long story short, we hit it off and didn't think twice about it. My question is, I have been trying to set something up with a highly rated provider and she keeps doing the "call me back" thing. I've given her references and my "real" information, but she still acts weird. I am a SHY man to begin with, I also have a SO. Two reasons that I may give off vibes to these providers because I am trying to be cautious as well. Ladies, how can I relax and get these providers to believe in me so I can resume my hobbying? What are some things you can suggest I do to make the inital screening go well? Your help would be so much appreciated.

Where do you live?  I have seen at least fifty ladies in the past couple of years  and been stood up only once.  Something is wrong in your situation.  Private message me and we can talk.

It would help if you had a referal from a well know provider...i know this process screws new guys but, vets..who have a good recomend.see ladies of choice
sham..

If you believe the ladies are asking you to "call back" too often, ask them why. You might say "Look....I sense by your  that you're hesitant to make a date with me, so maybe we'd both be better of if we didn't get together. But tell me, and be honest, is there sdomething about me or the way I'm acting putting you off?" You'll have to be brave to ask that, because you might learn something about yourself that you're not ready to face. But since you're shy, you're demeanor might suggest something to the ladies that just isn't trhere--like, as you've said, you're LE. Have you told the gals you're new at this? it might help to allay their concerns.

You do not provide any detailed information for someone to scrutinize what is going on in the screening process.  What questions do you ask?  That you are being stood up after being given instructions and waiting on some street corner doesn't bode well for the lady in question.  Once an affirmative has been given, there shouldn't be any reason for her to stand you up, unless there is something you said or did to have the red flags come up. The sceening should be taken care of before you get to that point.  

One must realize that on a daily basis we are confronted with emails and calls from gents with ulterior motives that will obviously have us singing Jailhouse Rock the next day if we bite.  Every contact is scrutinized to a degree with that motivation in the back of our minds.  Of all the emails I receive on a given day, I would say that a majority of those meet the delete key for there is something suggestive and leading in that initial contact (not to mention the wacko's that make it plainly obvious they do not have all of their faculties together).  It is not worth taking the risk that would cost thousands of dollars the next day.  That is the reasoning why protocols must be followed.  

Lauren

>You do not provide any detailed information for someone to >scrutinize what is going on in the screening process.  What >questions do you ask?

ok, since alot of ladies don't really keep up on their websites I try to confirm (aka ask questions) most of the pertinent information, like ummm....what are your rates, what hours are you available, do you provide incall as well as outcall (I have a SO remember). Also, these are women that say they MUST confirm in advance at their website, but end up screening over the phone. The providers I have seen have since retired or moved on.  I know a couple providers with phone numbers only (no websites) that stated they prefer to remain anonymous, and I repect thier wishes in that case. So I have really have but maybe one or two I can refer to, but the "new" providers tell me they couldn't get a hold of the ones I referred them to. I think I agree with howandwhy, just forget them, but at least ask why.

If you are uncomfortable giving more, see another lady.

I've experienced two true no-shows, where I did not get an message the next morning, explaining a family emergency. One was just last night, but I'll happily write that one off to karma - I had way too much fun the previous night!

In the other case, the lady and I chatted on the phone the day before our appointment and she said "You don't sound like you're from New York. Are you LE?" Needless to say, she didn't show the next day. She had to go with her instincts and I have to respect that.

My point is, there are going to be situations where you give off bad vibes, and you just have to accept it and move on. Now, being cynical, I could point out that you're giving off bad vibes right now by using an alias to post a serious question.

So all these ladies are wrong and your not LE.  Convince us that you are not LE just trying to learn how to trick our beautiful women.

Not ...

This one's an easy answer.

Move on.    there are somewhere between 143,256 and 22 billion reviews on TER.

Life is too short to fixate on one provider just because the reviews are good and then put yourself through all that.

I can't speak for everyone else, but for myself, if I had gotten those questions, I would simply refer you back to my site.  It has everything one needs to form an opinion as to whether or not a gent prefers to spend time with me, including links to reviews for those tough questions.  

The questions you ask is basic information that doesn't need to be updated and has remained the same for me since the beginning of this endeavor.  The schedule is another question, for it can change at a moments notice and at times is hard to keep it updated.  So I do accept inquiries as to availability.  It is the responsibility of the lady to have this information available to you.  Simple bottom line is that they have dropped the ball, for they are inviting such types of inquiries, putting themselves at more risk and hurting themselves for using the tactics they do for their safety.  Not a good enough excuse in my book, for a lady should consider the needs of both parties.  Bad business practices.  

I do believe this forum would make your problems go away.  There are even ladies without sites that are reviewed here and go strictly by word of mouth, but even in those instances, there is an avenue there so as to not put a lady at risk in who she talking to.  Stick with the forums and known ladies.  

Lauren

There are a lot of gents that just do not know the proper protocols in contacting a lady.  Sometimes I do have the feeling more often than not it is a gent that just doesn't know any better, but it isn't worth the risk to me.

It is unbelievable the type of inquiries that are received.  Graphic emails that go into detail of the sex acts they would love to have performed (interesting reading, but really), some that are insulting outright with superlatives such as whore and the like (with that mindset, I feel really safe-lol), some with pics attached of their members (as if I wouldn't be able to resist), just a number without a name (would really like to now who I am calling), hagglers on first initial contact (if the sob stories of great financial hardship are true, he doesn't need to be spending his money in this forum and the stories are so far fetched they must really think I am a dumb blonde.), the bible thumpers that want to meet to show me the errors of my ways(I can see the hatchet already)and those that just arbitrarily ask leading questions (a great case for possible entrapment).

On and on it goes.  This forum works both ways, IMHO, for it is the gents that do frequent these types of boards that know the proper protocols in initial contacts, understand that it is time that they are contracting for, makes my comfort level soar to the point of anticipation of a liaison and that in a nutshell is what it is suppose to be all about.

Lauren

 

-- Modified on 8/8/2003 9:25:58 AM

Many ladies do not like to answer the question "what are your rates" over the phone.  If you are concerned that the rates on the lady's website might not be current a less threatening approach might be to ask "Is your website current and up to date in all respects?".  Then it is up to the lady to tell you that her rates have changed from what is posted on her website.