The one thing to be careful of is not to mistake a great GFE for a GF. IOW don't fall back in love with a woman who just fucked your brains out, but who did it for money.

Hobbying is not the same as a meaningful relationship and should not be a complete substitute for one, unless of course you are simply a pig like me who loves to fuck all the hot women he can. lol

Good luck, go get laid, and remember not to fall in love with the first provider that curls your toes for you. lol

Think of the hobby as a pain reliever, in the mean time.

I got into it after my second divorce. It wasn't because of a broken heart, but rather I didn't want to jump into another relationship just because I was horny.

my fiance left me about a month ago and i found this web site and have been spending a lot of time in here.  i have to admit the fantasy and plethora of beautiful girls is great therapy for me.  did anybody else get into this by being dumped, divorced etc?  what better way to repair the ego than to be with a ridiculously hot 20-something.  i am getting pretty close to jumping in the pool!

Remember that the OP is suffering from a broken heart.  He is not looking for love.  He is not looking to replace his fiance.  The cure for a broken heart is not to find another person to love.  The cure for a broken heart is.. yes.. time.. and to find someone who is willing to listen.  Just listen, suck your dick with gusto, her lips carressing your nice hard cock, and listen to you as you pour your heart out.
Yes, jump in and get it on with the young hot twenty something providers.  
But also, find yourself a sexy, willing, thirty something lovely.  A lady who has been through it all herself, who will not only suck you, fuck you, and sex you up and down til you're exhausted, but who will also explore all those unanswered emotions with you.
A good provider is not only willing to go there with you sexually, but, for the time you are together, she'll go there with you emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and what ever else you want.
Remember, it's your hour, it's your time.  
Sometimes a broken heart just needs to be shared with someone else over a glass of wine and a good fuck.
Yes, you can cure your broken heart and heal your wounds, and get strong enough at some point to get back out there.  
Right now, you're not looking for love.  You're looking for some great sex and some understanding.  That IS what we are here for.  
If you're in MN, give me a call.  : )

The ONLY girl to ever think enough of me to remain focused enough to please ME! We knew each other prior to participating in p4p. She introduced the idea to me and i ran with it.

Wonder what happened to her?

Hobbying is dangerous after being dumped. You're too emotionally volatile.

I am a firm believer in getting right  back on the ho/rse lol

Breakups and heartbreak suck, but they suck a little less with a warm body curled up next to you. There is a danger of course with "rebound" type relationships, even in P4P, but there is an equal or greater danger IMO in living in pain and squalor while getting over a heartbreak.

Heartbreaks run their natural course and the only thing that can really cure a broken heart is time. the amount of time of course varies from person to person. In the meantime treating the symptoms, is preferable to wallowing in self pity which is what heartbreak victims typically do.

Which would make me at least MarcoPoloish. lol

As to being an experienced Man-ho, we all have to start somewhere, I wasn't always "experienced" we all have our first broken heart, I just believe in picking yourself up and getting back to living, while Madiba apparently thinks wallowing in self pity until you eventually heal is the right approach. Of course wallowing in self pity is more likely to result in someone seeking therapy than my approach, so maybe his advice is just a bit self serving? just sayin.......

-- Modified on 12/23/2010 12:29:55 PM

Ditto!  I got back into it recently, too, but not for your reason.  I simply got tired of a sexless marriage.  The first time I was into this was when Marriage #1 broke up.  We both dumped each other, I guess, but I was definitely looking for physical companionship.  I still remember just holding a young lady to me and feeling waves of pleasure simply from that.  But I never confused it with love.  Don't you either because, as Shakespeare once wrote, "that way madness lies."

The most important aspect is to think really hard why you want to enter the hobby. If you believe seeing a provider will replace the deep intimacy you shared with your ex-finance, think again. It wont. Seeing a lady for an hour or two or even an evening is only a temporary high. It might be an evening ofincredible sex, but when its over and she's gone, you will be back into the real world.  So you'll be spending your cash time and time again and you'll never feel satisfied because at the end of the day a provider is not here to replace what you shared with your ex.

Now, if you really don't miss the emotional aspects of being with your finance and simply miss the insatiable sex you two shared, well, that's a horse of a different color! You can definitely find many women who will appeal to you sexually. If you can accept the fleeting nature of the arrangement and have the ability to jump from fantasy to reality the minute your session ends, then its a perfect hobby to partake in.

The one thing I will say about entering the hobby is that its EXTREMELY hard to stop hobbying. The lure of great sex with no committments with a variety of physically different looking women is incredibly addictive. So be prepared that if you do decide to enter the hobby that you will be in it for a long time.

CIvie dating, imho, is  better alternative.

Hobbying won't cure a broken heart and it won'tt repair you're ego either.  A "provider" is providing a service for money.  YOU as an individual have nothing to do with it.  The really good providers can make yoiu feel like a king and are extremely good at creating the fantasy you're seeking, but they are few and far between.  Many will simply get you to come and then get you out the door.

In reading this forum I realize that you men can fall for providers more than I ever imagined... Some of you even make it sound like poor you, you have providers that are so into you they call you all the time to hang out for free and at the end of the day you have to beat them off with a stick in order to make your way to your front door, but that's another story.

What really surprise me is that from the sound of it you guys can fall in love pretty hard if you don't watch yourselves. I didn't realize yall were a bunch of lovey dovey teddies lol!! You talk like:"I want to fuck her upside down... I'm taking my wallet and my balls to the appointment that's all I need..." but behind close door we can push your buttons and turn you into nice lap dogs?

Yea -- so careful where you fire those eyes and soft caresses.  We're not so armored as we appear.

The "hobby" does not replace a civie relationship & is a really poor place to look for love.  It has happened but only rarely & more often ends painfully as well.
I would not "take myself off the civie market" to hobby.  However, I'd have been way better off to have avoided a couple of relationships including my first marriage.  
Yes, the hobby keeps you in practice & there is nothing like a high skill level to boost your confidence.  Also NOT being horny out of your mind can work wonders to letting a civie relatinship grow.  
It is important to keep a hobby life both secret & separate...  hobby phone, hobby email, no tracks.  That way WHEN (not IF) you find a civie relationship, the hobby can be closed out.  By the same token, you have no pressure to "settle" for a civie because if things don't work out, it's not like you won't be getting any.  
Many fine ladies are skilled actresses & the illusion of the Girl Friend Experience can seem very real.  I should know!!  It is very easy to "fall for" a lady you've had great sex with.  It's hormonal & designed to protect the young from the scaber-toothed tigers out there...   I try to rotate among a few favorite ladies so I can keep my heart in check.   Serial meetings with the same lady is risky from an emotional standpoint.
This hobby is not for everyone but like I said, I'd have been better off had I partaken earlier.
Best wishes,
skb

It is OK as an occasional ego booster, but if you read too much into the niceties which you get to hear from the providers , you'll get all wrapped up into it and it can become addictive, because it just relatively easy as long as you have the discretionary funds for it. If you do not have the discretionary funds available and try to use the money which you already can not afford to spend on the Hobby, you'll end up broke alongside still being brokenhearted!

However, if you are astute and recognize the Hobby for what is essentially is, i.e, Pay For Play (P4P) it will serve a purpose to soothe some of your "aches" You are not in any unique or dissimilar situation than what most of us have invariably not been through as some stage of our lives. This does not substitute Civvie dating, but you will not fair very well in the Civvie world, if you dive into the dating pool while going through the getting dumped angst. Women are like sharks and they sense this kind of angst just like sharks sense fresh blood in the water.

Here is what I would recommend: Internalize and see a therapist if need be and can afford it for your broken heart. If you wish to  release your sexual frustrations and masturbation will not longer cut it for you, get into the Hobby with caution and diligence. Try to adhere more to the Four F's (Find them, Feel them, "Fun" them and Forget them, instead of getting emotionally attached to a provider to substitute your feelings for your ex finacee. The best thing about the Hobby is that you can have sex with so many Hot Ladies (the Hotter ones will cost you more) that you will not have to put up with the BS and attitude that you will probably get from more inferior looking girls in the Civvie world.

Good luck, CS~

For a couple of years, I did not want to be involved in a serious relationship.  I was well aware that I could have sex with women by implying that I had an interest in re-marrying (I don't - I like being single), but chose not to deceive women in that way.  During those years, I saw many, many providers so that I could still enjoy sex.

After a few years of this, I decided to date again, and found an appealing girlfriend who I told at the beginning and consistently afterward that I had no plans to remarry.  She said she felt the same way, but it became increasingly obvious over the three years we were together that she wanted for us to marry.  I broke up with her in a way that I felt would be best for her, so that she can move on and find a man who is also interested in marriage.  I am currently involved in P4P again, and am enjoying the sex.

My suggestion to you is that you not get involved in dating until you are sufficiently "over" the end of your relationship with your fiancée. As for P4P, it depends on you as a person, and you are the person who best understands yourself. Clearly, there are providers who will encourage you to become emotionally involved with them, but doing this is not a good idea for you.  And, with some men, it is the client who wants emotional involvement despite clear messages from the provider that she does not.  As a provider once said, "I could never have a relationship with a man who paid me for sex" - I think this is a common and understandable view among providers.  

You need to ask yourself, and answer honestly, how realistically you can view the world of commercial sex.

An experienced Man-Ho and the OP is not. Look at his handle for crying out loud! MarcoPolo2010! He is just about to embark on a pussy discovery trip, while you are probably the original Marco Polo!

you betcha, girl.  that's why we all want to take you home and introduce you to mama.  Most men dont have the alcohol drugs and abuse to tie up their emotions

spud, sniffin your lap

I had an appointment not so long ago where the lady revealed to me she had just divorced her husband and she was feeling quite vulnerable.  She had some substantial emotional expectations during the session I wasn't anticipating and wasn't prepared to fulfill.  It became clear that she expected me to satisfy her emotional needs as well as her sexual needs and she eventually confided, in tears, that she was looking for a new boyfriend, and she was doing that by way of her sessions!  Easily the most neurotic and distressing experience I've had so far.  She was trying to cure her broken heart through her clients.  

I don't know about your broken heart, but I would guess that if that's what you're looking for, you're likely to break it more by doing this than repair it.  Some of us have been fortunate enough to build some genuine friendships with the ladies we've seen, but for the most part, underlying that friendship, and what makes the friendship work really well, is the persistent awareness of where the no-kidding lines are in the relationship, some of which run right up next to the heart.  So be careful with that!

but I think I'll let this one stand. lol

forget love for awhile and have lots of sex. The moment you are inside a 20 yr old pretty girl, you won't be thinking of love. Being in the moment is a way to forget the past

I like to DATY from behind and lap you up. Lol

I'm afraid you totally nailed it.