I was recently at a gathering of younger "yutes" and listening to their description of today's dating scene.  I have advanced, in age, beyond that stage of life and felt the need to share some "wisdom" with them which was so well received, I will share with you.  So now, with tongue firmly planted in check....here goes....

Their basic question: how do you approach a woman in a club/bar and get her back to the cave?

Rule one:  Never approach a group of girls numbering 4 or more.  This is clearly girls night out and you will never be able to separate one from the herd.  They are out to circle dance with themselves until midnight, then like Cinderella they must leave the ball.  Oh sure, You may get to speak with them and they will certainly let you buy drinks but, the thought of boom-boom is doomed-doomed.  Must look elsewhere.

Rule two:  Never approach two women.  This is clearly console your friend night.  One girl is listening to the other girls tale of woe.  More importantly, one girl will not leave the other to go home with you and leave her friend to fend for herself. Must look elsewhere.

Rule three:  Never approach the single woman.  She is alone for a reason.  Be very cautious of a girl with no girl friends.  Just think Glenn Close with "Play Misty for Me" playing in the background and you get the idea. It is quite possible You may not be discovered for weeks if ever.  Must look elsewhere.

Which leads us to the Theory of Threes.  In this scenerio you have the Hot looking girl (#1) and her attractive friend (#2) and the ugly tag along (#3). All three girl groups will fit this basic format...think of your own experiences to confirm this. THE KEY TO SUCCESS...GO FOR THE ATTRACTIVE GIRL (#2).  Most men error and go for the great looking girl, don't go this route. This is bound to fail. Why? Hot girl is always hit on and feels compelled to reject all suitors to keep up  her better-than-all image. Although it should go without saying, don't ever go for ugly girl #3!  INSTEAD go for the attractive girl # 2.  Attractive Girl #2 will say YES for the following reasons.
1) Hot girl #1 always gets hit on, not her, so she gets to feel superior for a change and she loves the attention. This is uncharted territory for her (DOE in the headlights if you will), use this to your advantage.
2) Girl #2 can leave her ugly friend behind with hot girl so no one is left by themself in the club/bar and the two can drive home together so no one walks to the car alone.  Attractive girl will have no second thoughts about leaving ugly girl since hot girl is there.
3) Girl #2 gets to call ugly girl in the morning to see what hot girl#1 had to say about not being picked.

This could be a life changing momment for girl #2, giving her the confidence to be all she can be and to think, you helped make it happen by following the Theory of Three!  This method has been proven effective over time in the Rush Street/Lincoln Park area but could work in places like Bucktown or any other city were woman gather in groups of three!