Review: My Wife (aka, “The Ball & Chain”)

Services Offered: Very few and infrequently, if any
Massage: At least not since we have been married
Cum in Mouth: You are kidding about that, right?
Sex: Maybe once every other month, tops, or if she really wants something
Lick Pussy: I loved to, but I can’t find it under all that unshaven hair
Blow Job: No way!
Anal:  ROTFLMFAO!!  Yea, right!  
Touch Pussy:  Only if I can find it through all that hair & without waking her
No-Rush Session: Somewhat, but only if I can finish within 2 minutes
Kiss: Only if she wants something!
Multiple Pops: You’re joking, right?  I am lucky just to get it once.

The General Details:
The passing years have been less than kind to her. Her once firm, pendulant breasts are now drooping & sagging down to her waist, her once lithe and supple body is still carrying quite a load of “pre & post-baby-fat”, her long, flowing auburn hair is now short & gray and her cute little button ass, ...well, let’s be charitable and just say that there is a hell of a lot more of her ass than there ever was before!  

Came home from the salt mines, ate some leftovers (third time this week) for dinner and then briefly watched some mindless drivel on TV before she indicated it was bedtime. I eagerly go to the bedroom where I saw that she had changed into her... (Caution: only the brave read further...)

The Juicy Details:
... long, ratty old flannel nightgown with scrunchy, dirty white gym socks on her feet. She had already taken all of the money out of my wallet and indicated that she wanted much more. With the formalities out of the way, I disrobed and jumped into bed, leaning over to nuzzle her neck to which she said, “I guess you want some tonight?” I answered affirmatively since it had been over three weeks since last time. She finally put down the TV remote and commenced bitching & whining that all I ever think about is sex before she finally starts up with an unenthusiastic, dry & rough HJ. I attempted to find my way under her nightgown to her unshaven, hairy pussy for some DATY to which she says, “Don’t lift the covers, it is too cold out there.” She stays with her half-hearted HJ for a few more minutes before deciding that I am hard enough to go with some "let-me-just-lay-here-&-have-you-do-all-the-work" Mish. I wanted some doggie and tried to get her to roll over but she wouldn’t have any of it, saying, “Oh, no way, you pervert, you're not getting kinky on me tonight!” So, I stay with Mish and fortunately was able to pop right before she says, “Aren’t you done yet?” Done in 2 minutes tops!

I try desperately not to repeat, but I just can’t help myself!

Is your wife available for outcall ?  loolz.

And you could deal with her.