On the first day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
A divorce court summons

On the second day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the third day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the fourth day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Four account statements
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the fifth day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
FIVE ALIMONY OPTIONS
Four account statements
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the sixth day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Six child support payments,
FIVE ALIMONY OPTIONS
Four account statements
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the seventh day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Seven missing condoms,
Six child support payments,
FIVE ALIMONY OPTIONS
Four account statements
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the eighth day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Eight days of blueballs,
Seven missing condoms,
Six demands for child support,
FIVE ALIMONY OPTIONS
Four account statements
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the ninth day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Nine lawyers screaming
Eight days of blueballs,
Seven missing condoms,
Six demands for child support,
FIVE ALIMONY OPTIONS
Four account statements
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the tenth day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Ten days in a courtroom,
Nine lawyers screaming
Eight days of blueballs,
Seven missing condoms,
Six demands for child support,
FIVE ALIMONY OPTIONS
Four account statements
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the eleventh day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Eleven minutes to vacate,
Ten days in a courtroom,
Nine lawyers screaming
Eight days of blueballs,
Seven missing condoms,
Six demands for child support,
FIVE ALIMONY OPTIONS
Four account statements
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons

On the twelfth day of Christmas my SO gave to me,
Twelve jurors granting,
Eleven minutes to vacate,
Ten days in a courtroom,
Nine lawyers screaming
Eight days of blueballs,
Seven missing condoms,
Six demands for child support,
FIVE ALIMONY OPTIONS
Four account statements
Three computer printouts
Two phone call records and
A divorce court summons