This week, due to an ill-informed posting on my part on a regional board, I have broken up with a povider whom I had seen several times.  While sad on the surface, it's almost comical from a hobby standpoint...this is not real life, and since I have practically nothing involved emotionally with the lady in question (whom is a well regarded and known provider on TER), I'm wondering what comments other hobbysists who have been over the same ground may have to pitch in....

"They say that breaking up is hard to do, now that seen I've you, I know it must be true"...Neil "Sqeaky" Sadada.  Don't get me started...

"Big wheels a-moving, moving on..."

Breaking up with a provider? Equivalent to breaking up with your veternarian or financial advisor. If stop seeing any one certain provider is hard to do, then you got too close and should end the business transactions anyway.

Seeing a provider is nice, relaxing, and fun. It is also a business and everyone needs to remember that. Those old sayings have been around for so many years because they have been proven true time and again. "Don't mix business with pleasure" once the business of seeing a provider crosses that line, stop. "Never date people you work with" this is the workplace for the provider, don't date your co-workers (clients). As with anything in this world there will be exceptions, we all know that. Just too many people start thinking that they are the exception.

b-

All us newbies get good advice constantly from the longer abiding hobbyists and providers alike and it is all the same theme- keep it enjoyable and don't cross the boundaries.

It's hard to do when, especially when new as we don't often have our head on straight yet on what we are even looking for in the hobby.  And when you meet a beautiful woman who you click or connect with, it can be even harder.

I've already found in my brief time hobbying that providers and hobbyists alike are not at all immune to jealousy and crossing boundaries.

That's not to say there aren't exceptions where friendships can flourish, but by and large, I firmly believe that 99% of the time, crossing the boundaries will end up in grief and heartbreak for one or both.

Sometimes the advice of those who have preceeded us is very wise!

The two of you are terminating a business relationship, albeit an intimate business relationship but that's all it is.  Don't kid yourself though, it is still real life as it involves two real people, it's just not "breaking up" as you chose to describe it here.

I can't say I've been in your situation but I know providers who have dumped clients over inappropriate behavior such as posting about them, compromising the lady's safety, or just plain blabbing too much. I don't know what you posted but it sounds like it was not received favorably by the gal in question.  Hopefully, no matter who dumped who, you learned a lesson.

My reference to "breaking up" should be taken with a grain of salt.  I was only venting a bit...and yes, my post, while not meant to be imfamamtory, unfortunely was so.  Lesson to be learned?  Be very guarded with your comments...what you think might be complimentary or supportive may not be seen as such by the other party.  Anyway, enough on this....

you crazy diamond

I read posts, not minds...

damn bg how old are you? "shine on you crazy diamond"  pink floyd. shine on meaning to go on with life forget about the lady life goes on. wasnt trying to bash your thread or person bg easy does it calm down i love you man!

change it.. it might be too late to make a difference but she might appreciate the gesture.

don't sprain your arm patting yourself on the back

I wasn't responding to your post, I was responding to CD's. It's not my thread and trust me,I'm always calm OK? Lol, this is just a chat board not anything important.

BTW, Shine On You Crazy Diamond, which I own on vinyl, was a written by Roger Waters about Syd Barret, Pink Floyd's original guitar player, who went on an acid trip and never really came back...don't see how it has much to do with the topic at hand...

it's probably for the best.

you succinctly point out many of the problems of hobbyists who try to make it more than it really is... especially those guys who throw their money around because they can...

Not to hijack a thread, but I wonder how high you have to be to go on these acid trips and never come back. I don't do drugs, so I couldn't imagine the level of craziness you achieve with it...

Katie

It's when they think they are buying "love" that they run into problems.

Well, it was many trips actually....It's been a while since I read the story of exactly what happened but the late sixties and early seventies were a time when a great deal of experimenting went on with various hallucinogens.  LSD was Barrett's drug of choice...

Both sides need to take a positive outlook.

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us (Alexander Graham Bell)

Since when do ladies just dump a guy for no reason? appointments are, after-all, money in her pocket, so if she wants to lose some green, it must be for a good reason. Maybe you should learn from what you did wrong, so you dont do it again to another girl, rather then expecting all of us to give you a sympathetic pat on the back. Sounds like you dont want to accept that you did anything wrong to deserve her dropping you.

Lets see. I was seeing one provider for a few years but her behavior became to erratic for me. Her animal rescue volunteer work was taken over her life that we couldnt use her place because she had a number of dogs there. My last visit to see her, she kept me waiting over an hour outside a second place that I left. She then calls me up and tries to make it seems I was the one running late. I kept walking back to the train station and never spoke to her again.
Another provider kept telling me how much she loved me and would call me up just to talk. And how much she missed me and wanted to do this and that with me.And travel with me. I started to think that perhaps this was going to develop into something more. So when she came into town we talked about spending the night together and never discussed $$$. I wasnt going there empty handed anyway but that day she texts messages me saying we should discuss her "fee" so we can enjoy the night. That was a reality check I needed and I never bothered to meet her in the city and never spoke to her again.
 I have had a few other incidents where all it would take is for the provider to be nice and get back to me on something  and the business can continue on but I wonder with providers if business is that good that they can afford to give up on guys who treat them like gold on a monthly basis.
 With me I can take a few slights now and then but if she cant be nice to me then I will just find someone else and move on. It is a business relationship for sure but can you imagine being in corporate and treating clients with such little regard. Then dont stand for it so why should we?