TER General Board

How to Be an Ally to Sex Workers
tattooed_asian See my TER Reviews 1279 reads
posted
1 / 14

[Have you read this yet?]

How To Be an Ally To Sex Workers was composed by the members and allies of Sex Workers Outreach Project-Chicago. Visit them on the web at www.swop-chicago.org

1.) Don’t Assume. Don’t assume you know why a person is in the sex industry. We’re not all trafficked or victims of abuse. Some people make a choice to enter this industry because they enjoy it, others may be struggling for money and have less of a choice.

2.) Be Discreet and Respect Personal Boundaries. If you know a sex worker, it’s OK to engage in conversation in dialogue with them in private, but respect their privacy surrounding their work in public settings. Don’t ask personal questions such as “does your family know what you do?” If a sex worker is not “out” to their friends, family, or co-workers, it’s not your place to tell everyone what they do.

3.) Don’t Judge. Know your own prejudices and realize that not everyone shares the same opinions as you. Whether you think sex work is a dangerous and exploitative profession or not is irrelevant compared to the actual experiences of the person who works in the industry. It’s not your place to pass judgment on how another person earns the money they need to survive.

4.) Watch Your Language. Cracking jokes or using derogatory terms such as “hooker”, “whore”, “slut”, or “ho” is not acceptable. While some sex workers have “taken back” these words and use them among themselves, they are usually used to demean sex workers when spoken by outsiders.

5.) Address Your Prejudices. If you have a deep bias or underlying fear that all sex workers are bad people and/or full of diseases, then perhaps these are issues within yourself that you need to address. In fact, the majority of sex workers practice safer sex than their peers and get tested regularly.

6.) Don’t Play Rescuer. Not all sex workers are trying to get out of the industry or in need of help. Ask them what they need, but not everyone is looking for “Captain Save-A-Ho” or the “Pretty Woman” ending.

7.) If you are a client or patron of sex workers, be respectful of boundaries. You’re buying a service, not a person. Don’t ask for real names, call at all hours of the day/night, or think that your favorite sex worker is going to enter into a relationship with you off the clock.

8.) Do Your Own Research. Most mainstream media is biased against sex workers and the statistics you read in the news about the sex industry are usually inaccurate. Be critical of what you read or hear and educate yourself on who exactly is transmitting diseases or being trafficked.

9.) Respect that Sex Work is Real Work. There’s a set of professional skills involved and it’s not necessarily an industry that everyone can enter into. Don’t tell someone to get a “real job” when they already have one that suits them just fine.

10.) Just because someone is a sex worker doesn’t mean they will have sex with you. Not matter what area of the sex industry that someone works in, don’t assume that they are promiscuous and willing to have sex with anyone at any time.

11.) Be Supportive and Share Resources. If you know of someone who is new to the industry or in an abusive situation with an employer, by all means offer advice and support without being condescending. Some people do enter into the sex industry without educating themselves about what they are getting into and may need help. Despite the situation, calling the police is usually never a good option. Try to find other organizations that are sensitive to the needs of sex workers by contacting the organizations listed below.

12.) As you learn the above things, stand up for sex workers when conversations happen. Share your personal stories if you so choose. Don’t let the stigma, bigotry and shame around sex work continue. Remember it’s important that sex workers be allowed to speak for themselves and for allies to not speak for sex workers but to speak with sex workers.

Realize that sex work transcends ‘visible’ notions of race, gender, class, sexuality, education, and identities; sex workers are your sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, lovers, neighbors, and friends. Respect them!

Get Active! Contact your local SWOP Chapter to find out what you can do or form your own in the city you live in.

dfwjim123 104 reads
posted
3 / 14

Media and traditions do not have the full control of public perceptions on this matter.

However, in a hypocritical society, even when legislators, politicians, and other social elites are doing it themselves, they still want to make a public impression that they are against it.  That's the problem you are battling against.

All the initiatives mentioned are not really problems at all -- just all the hypocrisies are in the way.  

So, your message should be along the line: "you eat our pussies, we suck your cocks, shouldn't we be allies too?"

MarkusKetterman 150 Reviews 89 reads
posted
4 / 14

who take the trouble to participate in a board like this, and to help support one another and educate newbies.  This certainly summarizes my aspirations for my attitude quite well. I think I'll keep a copy of it.

Cheers

GTM

GaGambler 112 reads
posted
5 / 14

but all in all a pretty good starting point for the public at large.

MarkusKetterman 150 Reviews 73 reads
posted
6 / 14

If I let "MeanOldMan" edit it, I'm sure it would appeal to both of us quite a bit more.

But I do like the sentiment, and the comprehensive and cogent presentation.

GaGambler 64 reads
posted
7 / 14

I also like the sentiment and it's a great starting point.

Dr. joe 32 Reviews 127 reads
posted
8 / 14

the first basic: Decriminalize sex work.

mrfisher 112 Reviews 80 reads
posted
9 / 14

We clients, as customers, need to remember that we are purchasing a service from a human being, and that entails keeping a certain distance (Whatever that gal is doing with you, she is not  your girlfriend when the hour is up.) and being civil (She might partake of dirty talk, but it's in the context of the moment, it does not carry over outside the session.)

This is something we need to keep in mind.  I think TER management would do well to add it to the Newbie Manual.

HootOwl 49 Reviews 96 reads
posted
10 / 14

in a better world would be easier to follow #12 with civilians.

tattooed_asian See my TER Reviews 43 reads
posted
12 / 14

Also, not all sex workers favor decriminalization.  I've heard some say they make more money with it being illegal!!!

And, one of the other tips for allies is to keep your opinions to yourself, since sex workers must know their interests better than non-sex workers do.

Personally, I am in favor of decriminalization, but I just wanted to point out another POV from the escort side.

tattooed_asian See my TER Reviews 44 reads
posted
13 / 14

However, there is no way I can circulate this around "the civvie population" without drawing suspicious attention upon myself!

Dr. joe 32 Reviews 58 reads
posted
14 / 14

remember the injustice of sex work being a criminal activity.  There should come a time when we begin to take some action. I still remember when police in New York used to go into gay bars and beat the patrons for being there.

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