Write Review
2,077,956 Total Reviews 3,509 New Reviews
8,679 Users Online

TER General Board

How much is enough?
doonan 18 Reviews 1766 reads
posted

I'm looking for some advice, perhaps from providers but definitely seasoned hobbyists.  

A couple of times recently--and it's happened off and on during my hobbying years--I have spent a substantial amount of time with a provider, over and above the originally scheduled amount of time.   I'm unsure of the best way to broach the topic of how much to pay at the end of the time together.   It's easy to confuse the "not a clockwatcher" label with "someone's time is valuable".


This is a good example of what I'm talking about:

I scheduled an appointment with a provider, that had included a previous month of texting, sexting, etc.    This provider is a part-time, UTR, mid-40's, professional woman.   Her stated rate is "$300/hr."   She is known for her friendly manner and is known as "not a clockwatcher".  We met for a drink at the hotel bar, stayed there for an hour or so drinking, laughing, etc, just basically getting to know one another.   We then made our way to my room, where she tried on a couple of outfits that I had purchased for her.   The playing around then went on for another hour or so.  All in all, we were cleaning up and getting dressed about two and a half hours after our original start time.   I had not planned on spending this much time together, and as such, had only $500 cash on me.   I pulled out my wallet and asked her if she was ok with 500.    She offered no sign of anger, disappointment, etc, and stated that that was just fine.   I even texted her the next day, stating that I hadn't planned on having such a good time that lasted so long and "was the compensation ok?"   Again, she said it was absolutely fine.

Was she just being nice, or was this indeed a perfect example of not being a clockwatcher?    How should I have broached the subject if at all?    I'm of the opinion that if you open the door, pretty much anyone would walk through it, and to be honest, I don't want to open that door if I don't have to, but I also want to be fair to the provider, especially since it was such a great get together, and I would like to get together again upon my return to her city.

TIA

MP67454 reads

You think you're the only guy that got more time than what you bargained for? Welcome to the club, my friend....

You made a date with said lady. By your own admission, you did the schmoozing beforehand and agreed to a set day and time for a certain amount of fundage, right? It ran over and now you feel guilty, even though she said it was cool.

Did you put a gun to her head and make her stay longer than you both contracted for? I think not.

Did it ever occur to you that she didn't have anything better to do after your date so she decided to hang out with you cuz you're such a swell guy? God forbid!

If I was you, I'd be thankful and take it for what it is. Two people that had a great time together. But don't expect it to happen again. You might've just got lucky this go around, know what I mean?

If it happens again, great. And if you really feel guilty about it, get her something nice for your next visit. I'm sure she'd appreciate that considering she was so generous with her time.  ;)

ReplyQuoteReport
doonan264 reads

I didn't think I was the first.   I just wanted to know how to address the time/compensation without breaking the bank.   It's happened to me a couple of times in the past few months.   A couple have even asked if they could spend the night. . .now THAT really cost me!    In my perfect world, she would have said, "No, keep the other $$, and just give me the original three".   Either that or she would have paid me.

I do see another provider who has the perfect way to let you know when it's time to quit the grinnin and drop yer linnin.  I can be in mid sentence, offering the first plausible solution to the Israeli/Palestenian problem, and she will simply remove her panties.    A not so subtle cue to shut up and come to the dinner table.

ReplyQuoteReport
BigPapasan203 reads

...time, which only lasted 30 minutes.  Providers know how to move the date along so if she didn't do it, that was her choice.  But she obviously picked up the pace in the sack, lol.

ReplyQuoteReport
McDonald000302 reads

You mentioned that she does this part-time. And she seemed to enjoy your company. You have also lavished her with gifts. So, you spent a couple of bills on the gift, and went over about an hour or so. Then you gave her a half K for her time.

She voluntarily accepted your gratitude. She even made sure if the experience was okay and that you didn't want to waste her time. She apparently gave you approval. Its fine dude. Your such a nice guy, I really don't see anything wrong with what you did.

If she didn't enjoy your experience, she would have told you an hour or so ago in your session. Also, if she had another session, she would have let you know. Your fine man. Keep in mind though, not all providers are like that. She was exceptional with you because I think she mutually enjoyed your company. Hey, its JMO. Happy new years, I for one had a terrible one :(

ReplyQuoteReport
timedilation368 reads

if you are traveling close to speed of light and spacetime has some how distorted. In that case 1 hr to her can seem like 2 1/2 hours to you, so paying just $300 would suffice.  :D

On a serious note, sounds like she's really not a clock watcher and stayed because she wanted to. You didn't plan it, she's the one who stayed.  So, honestly, I'm not even sure if tipping that much is required either...  but I'm sure she appreciated it.

Sticking around when the hobbyist didn't plan on it can be a form of UP SELLING, in my honest opinion.

The $200 extra was very nice of you.

ReplyQuoteReport
shudaknownbetter303 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
hiddenhills288 reads

Take her at her word, if she said she's fine with it, then she's fine with it.  When you book with her again, if she's upset with the way the first date went, I'm sure you'll be able to tell. And as MP67 mentioned get her a nice gift when you see her again. (crap did I just agree with him)  However, on the second date, I'd be prepared to compensate her for all the time you spend together.

ReplyQuoteReport
MP67185 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
jaydalee225 reads

I agree with Hiddenhills if she said she is good with it then she is.Guaranteed if she did not like the compensation she would have made mention of it or acted in a way you would be able to tell she is not pleased.A gift would be a nice touch if you want to get her a little something.

Posted By: hiddenhills
Take her at her word, if she said she's fine with it, then she's fine with it.  When you book with her again, if she's upset with the way the first date went, I'm sure you'll be able to tell. And as MP67 mentioned get her a nice gift when you see her again. (crap did I just agree with him)  However, on the second date, I'd be prepared to compensate her for all the time you spend together.  

ReplyQuoteReport
shudaknownbetter221 reads

Please excuse the Ooops!
A Favorite lady (I'll call T) whom I have seen for several years...  only provides plart time.  I have a distance to drive.  Our original arrangement where I set the time & cost.  She has cooked for me (shared what she just happened to have on hand), we have done pot luck & cooked together, she has given me free technical help with her office skills...  but the play time is still included & it is expected that I will gift the same amount every time.  I can often stay as long as I like...  I am likely the only one she sees that day, maybe several days.
Another Fav lady (I'll call A), would book 4 - 6 per day max...  but often has no one else booked.  Again our play time is near the specified time but unless there's a need to hurry we might share a meal or snack or just hang out for a time.  Agaiin the gift is fixed.  

I think you have set the precident...  she enjoyed your company & was fine with the compensation.  Now I'm not sure you can keep up the clothing side of it.  I think the ball is in your court, but you'd best expect to gift comparably in the future.
skb

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher254 reads

Suffice it to say, it looks like the way you handled this situation is fine.

Once you have inquired with a gal if she is fine with a situation, and she says it is fine.  Don't ask again.  It is possible that it really isn't "fine" with her, but to ask a second time, makes it even less "fine" for her, if that makes any sense.

Perhaps the only rule to follow is to make things as right as you feel you can, your desire to see her again and your pocketbook being the sources of your actions.

If things are OK with her, then all is well.  If things aren't, it won't matter anyways.

ReplyQuoteReport
Bostonguy57211 reads

That has to come into play.  I see a couple of ladies that I book for two hours but the date typically stretches into four or five hours with dinner, chat time, the main event and some more pillow talk. I pay for the two hours (and for dinner of course) but that's all I pay for because that is the arrangement I have with them.

If you booked an hour then I would say that you were more than generous with the lady.  if you left it open-ended I'd say you probably should have paid her for two hours. Of course, free advice is worth exactly what you pay for it.  If she was happy with the compensation that's all tat matters.

ReplyQuoteReport
tawtasisllihneddih177 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!