re-using the same provider as your reference after your visit? Lets say you only see her once, would you keep using her 6 months, a year or longer?

I had to make a policy on this after a guy kept re-using me, for like 2 years! He saw me ONCE!
I gave him at least 3-5 references! I finally said to please contact a RECENTLY seen lady.  
I am confused, why not use a woman i have given a reference for you as your new reference and so on and so on?

I now have a 6 months from last seen rule.  

I actually had a guy use me and I had not seen him since 2008!!!  

I told the gal I can not vouch for him currently, as people change... but at the time 5-6 years ago, he was fine!

LO

This has actually happens all the time.

I once, from one guy, received six reference requests from the same guy in a matter of an hour. I finally emailed each one of the ladies, "This guy has six ladies emailing me at once… just FYI. May be shopping around." Gave him a good reference, but left it up to them.

He also emailed, texted, called, left messages, etc. ten times for one lady I know going overboard about how he had me as a reference. (Umm… not something to brag about. That's what you're supposed to do dummy.) I finally told the guy not to use me anymore. I don't want to be giving the OK for a guy who is going to NCNS, though he hadn't for me. It was also getting weird as I was getting messages from the ladies telling me he wouldn't stop calling them. He'd never acted this way with me, but I couldn't say he was OK anymore after that kind of behavior.

Some guys just see a lot of gals, which is fine, but you'd think they would have plenty of ladies to use based on the amount of references they are asking for.

The only thing I can think of is… perhaps he knows you'll get back to the ladies in good timing? Some guys do give like every name they've seen too. Maybe the ladies, in that case, pick the ones they know will get back to them quickly.

-- Modified on 1/31/2014 4:04:59 AM

I am reluctant to use a recent provider who I hope to revisit because of a feeling of not wanting to offend her by letting her know that I'm taking my business somewhere else. It almost feels like cheating on her. So, I tend to go back to those I've sort of drifted away from. I know this is absurd but... That's how it is. So maybe other men feel the same as I do. We're all crazy.

I guess the most direct answer is that my Date-Check and P411 "OK's" are always there. Outside of that, I would never offer a provider as a reference without contacting her to make sure it was OK first.  

How old the reference is doesn't really matter, does it? Example: If I have a "friend" I have seen and keep in touch with (if not conjugally) even though she moved to another area a year ago, is she an acceptable reference? Remember I haven't "seen" her for over six months..

The "system" also screws with us a bit. Suppose I've seen a lady exclusively for 6 months, take a few months off, and then contact someone new... and she requires two references within the past 6 months. Alas, I'm SOL. Isn't it odd to consider that the reference system would "force" us to see a minimum of 2 different women each and every 6 months as a way to remain "acceptable"? And we all know that free VIP here on good 'ole TER means seeing two different women each month and reviewing 100%...

I guess Courtney's response about the guys using her as a reference for 25+ gals in a month, aside from inviting the obvious "It must have been GaG's daily dates" joke, raises a separate question... how many is TOO many? I get that references can take time and effort, but it also seems there is an undertone of perhaps competitiveness (for business and repeats) or even perhaps [gasp] disdain for the guy who chooses to see many different women?  

Ah, no more rambling musings. Just made me ponder a bit...

what i get out of it is, many of my long time client travel and they prefer to use someone who has been established in the Boston area  if they are traveling or if they visit with a traveling lady.
For my long time repeat clients I have no problem but I agree with the one guy I saw once 2yrs ago still dishing out my name as a refs.
I don't remember anything about him anymore accept he uses me as a refs on a reg basis.
I think they are using us also because we respond give a good refs and are well known.
I too have to cut them off and I tell them so. I ask them to use a recent refs that I will no longer give them one its been too long.

END OF MESSAGE

I've had a lot of guys always use me, because they knew I would respond in less than an hour, so I became the last minute reference for some of the last minute providers. I guess that's a good thing for them, but after six months, he needs to use a more recent reference. I've given one guy at least 50 over the years, and then finally had enough. You've seen 50 women since me, and not one of them can respond in a timely manner? Hmmm... how the hell did you get an appt. if that's the case?

You know the saying for every dollar bill etc...  
Anyway not a day goes by I receive from providers XYZ has given me your information can you vouch for him? I do contact the client...why giving out my information we haven't seen each other in years, I greatly appreciate you thinking of me, please use a current provider whom you've recently seen, answer is you have INTEGRITY my dear!  
My answer WOW I'm honored!
Caitlyn Kennedy YES I Feel You're Right People do Change.  
On that note: (I Will Take Your Advice)
Thank You

This is business! Don't take it personally!
 

-- Modified on 1/31/2014 1:25:57 AM

Even doing business there's a personal element. A lot of people don't quite get that. If you get it, you get it, and if you don't you don't.

I provide my handle, and thus my reviews so they can check with whomever they like.  I also provide my White Lists, P411 and Date-Check account info including OKs.  It always seems to work.

The only time I "used" an provider reference from more than a year is when I first started my p411/ DC Id. Then, I collected all the ok's / references I could at one time.  

I think a lot of the other things said are true to some extent. There are providers who generally are catty about giving references and others who aren't. The latter tend to screen with reference emails so they understand the quid pro quo.
 Like Nicky, I give my ter handle with reviews most of the time. The other times I give provider references. I have one provider who almost always comes through for me even if I haven't seen her for more than six months. We have a somwhat unique relationship so I wouldn't generalize that.  

There are one or two providers i've seen whom I'm not super attracted to ( still solid 8's) but they offer good performance and, relevant here, are really good about references. So, I plan to see them every 6-9 months

Exactly inicky! I provide the woman with my P411 info and let her decide who she wishes to check with. Sometimes they'll know one of my "okays" personally so are able to get not only a quick response but the "inside scoop" as well. Been a hell of a long time since I needed to provide an individuals name and info for a reference.
                          Regards.......RR

I've had quite a few gents over the years who would continuously use me for a reference...even after I had been there reference for quite a few other well-known ladies....never made sense to me. In a couple of situations, the area the gent was in was remote and ladies rarely ever visited there, so I was the only "reviewed/verified" provider they had ever seen...so I understand that at first...but when the touring ladies started visiting their town, & I would give references...they would still try to use me 1-3 years down the line.  

I know some ladies are just more reference-friendly, and easier to deal with...hence, gents feel more comfortable re-using those same ladies, instead of the newer ladies they have seen....especially if they have established a friendly banter with the lady. This practice lead to me changing my reference guidelines to if it's been over 6 months (for one-time visits), or over a year (for repeat gents), then I can no longer give a reference.  

I totally agree - I'll give as many references as they want within 6 months.

I do have some clients who do not hobby often, so they email and ask if I wouldn't mind giving a reference. I tell them sure as long as the lady will take it from me being so old.