Well, today I have determined to “set my mind to seek and explore by wisdom concerning all that has been done under heaven” to answer the question, How do Birds know?
How do birds know what? Well actually upon further cogitation, I realize that this must be expressed as a multi-part question. So, let me expand the question appropriately as follows.
How do birds know when you have washed your car? How do they know when to let IT go so that IT lands right in the middle of your hood and IT is visible for all to see? How do they know when to do IT so that you find IT but never actually get to see the bird that did IT? How do birds know?
This like many other mysteries looms large and is similar to the question of the origin of the dust ball. Frankly until now, I deemed it as possibly one of the mysteries we would never have answered.
In truth and though it may have caused some of you to question the foundational tenets upon which you have built your life, I was going to say, “I don’t know!”
I was going to say, I don’t know how birds know when you have washed your car. I don’t know how birds know when to let IT go so that IT lands right in the middle of your hood visible for all to see. Right in the middle! Not in some inconspicuous spot, NOOOOO, right in the big, fat middle of your hood! Right there! Right after you paid $29.95 for the super-duper wash IT off, shine, polish and even clean IT off your car’s under carriage for $29.95 car wash!
I was going to say, “I DON’T KNOW.”
But, in one single moment of revelation, a new strata of knowledge and understanding was unveiled to me which a large number of you, possibly both of you, may find difficult if not impossible to comprehend.
In that moment, there was a new realism.
THEY did it. THEY told the birds when you had washed your car. THEY told the birds when to let IT go so that IT lands right in the middle of you hood visible for all? THEY told the birds when to do IT so that you find IT yet never actually get to see the bird that did IT? THEY told the birds, because THEY want to inflict this kind of punishment and harassment on all mankind just because THEY are sinister and THEY believe THEY can get away with IT.
You may think I am paranoid but I know that I have stumbled upon another of the truths which THEY desire to keep hidden. I know with certainty that THEY gained influence and dominance over these sweet, little chirpers through their mother chirpers! Yes, that’s right, through their mother chirpers! THEY duped the mother chirpers and used them to turn their sweet little chirpers into flying, kamikaze “ITers” dropping IT on the hood of your car and mine with wanton recklessness and without consideration for IT’S affects.
Well I for one do not intend to put up with IT any longer. I don’t want IT on my car especially after my $29.95 super, duper wash IT off, shine, polish and even clean IT off my car’s under carriage car wash.
I intend to do something about IT.
Wait, uh oh, here comes a whole flock of birds and THEY told them, “IT’S time to go.”
Philosopher Dad
-- Modified on 10/27/2007 10:34:15 AM
