when they ask for a Provider reference and this is your first time what should i say.

This is my first time?  What other info would you like?

Or you could try...my wife doesn't give references, and besides...it's been so long ago that she may not remember me anyway.

Just a thought.

When you don't have a reference, they'll usually want work information instead. Say "I'm Sgt. Jackgay from the vice squad."

I went to massage parlors for years and got to know the receptionist well.  I would give her presents or a tip from time to time.  When I discovered the joys of the internet and wanted to meet a provider, I gave the receptionist as a reference and had no trouble at all.

Explain that you are a first timer and have no references. She may ask for other information instead. In every large city there are ladies and agencies that will work with you, use reviews to find those people. I did just that on a recent trip, one agency asked for two provider references that I could not give because I had seen the two most appropriate ones over a year ago. I called another agency that had smoking women, gave information about me, they verified and I got the appointment. Everything worked out well.

Lots of providers accept this.