I recently had a horrible experience with a client and it went as follows
Two days ago I set up an appointment with a new client. Part of the pre screening i do for new clients is ask that they provide me with an id at the door, just to be sure they are who they say they are. (no i do not take down or look at their personal info and i do inform clients that i dont care if they cover it up). He began to throw a fit and proceeded to tell me he would leave a horrible review As well as inform hotel management what was going on!! After this there was nooo way i was going to see him and fought with him to get him out of my room.
After leaving he continued to blow up my phone which i did not answer as well as sent me more threating texts on how he would ruin my career with constant bad reviews, as well as posting things on bp of how i was a bad provider!!
Can TER accept something like that?? Ive worked really hard for my reviews and good rep (yes i am using an alias in this post) I dont want all my hard work ruined. What do i do
Put him on the 'list' and let the other ladies know WTF this joker is all about.
He doesn't respect you, and sure as shit won't respect any other lady in the future. Do your job. Protect you and your lady friends. They'll thank you for it, and so will we.
Sorry you had to go thru that, and I'm glad you weren't physically harmed. But that fuck is a piece of shit and doesn't deserve to be here.
Most everything winds up being a case of three sides to a story. Consider that.
The OP says it's part of the screening process. So that means we should believe the guy was informed of the procedure. Right? If she got no confirmation of that point of her process...why did she continue with the date? How did he wind up at the door? Had she been professional, and stuck to her procedure, then WHY did anything go any further?
Not saying she's wrong. Not saying he's wrong. Just saying that if she did not get confirmation of her terms beforehand...how did it ever get to the door?
Far too often we blame others for our shortcomings.
I didn't read anything in her post indicating he had been advised beforehand that ID would be requested (perhaps this is something the lady will consider in the future to avoid another problem like this. That decision is up to her however).
The problem lies in how he responded once ID was requested. If he doesn't want to show ID, fine. Its his option to walk. It is NOT his right to throw a fit, threaten her, or harass her. Those are exactly the things providers don't need, and have every right to warn other ladies about. If this is how he reacts to simply being asked for ID, heaven only knows how he might react to other situations. Like, being told no if he wants something she doesn't provide? I sure as hell wouldn't want to be in a vulnerable situation with a guy with a temper like his.
"I didn't read anything in her post indicating he had been advised beforehand that ID would be requested"
Her third sentence: "Part of the pre screening i do for new clients is ask that they provide me with an id at the door". It's the "PRE" screening that had me thinking it was "a. Earlier; before; prior to b. Preparatory; preliminary c. In advance"
I'm guessing that since he through a fit about proving who he was, that she might not know who he is, right?
Maybe he used a false name, and the ID would spoil his plan, hense the fit? Maybe he refered to a hobbyist handle that wasn't his own as well. Should she risk casting a shadow on an innocent hobbyist?
I guess there is the phone number. That might not be real either. Tell me your phone number... in 10 minutes I can call anyone (even you!!!) and your name and phone number will appear on the caller ID. So that is not a guarantee of who he is either. Even without the savy to do that he can change the number. ANd if you don't know his real name, well....
Did hidden video cam in the doorway get a face shot? Just kidding! That's ridiculous. No one does that.
The only other thing I can think of is email. That could ID the guy until he changed it.
Sounds like you did the right thing! Who knows who he really was (assuming he was giving false info) and it could've been way worse if he stayed. I would post a DNS on the blacklists to warn other ladies of this guy. And I would just hope for the best- that he is just trying to bully you and won't write a false review. He could write it, but you can always contest it with TER if it's a fake review. If he didn't tell hotel mgmt. what was going on- he's probably just blowing smoke cuz he's angry.
Also, if he screened thru a verification site- I would tell them what happened so they can remove him if they see fit.
I prefer that a woman has at least three reviews. If I see one that his higher or lower than the rest, I tend to throw it out, sort of like diving and gymnastics judging where they throw out the highest and lowest score. Although some other websites have a feature that allows the provider to post a comment on the review.
TER might have the capability of not accepting reviews that you do not feel are accurate. I would ignore the person unless he makes a direct threat against you. I don't know how BP works. I notice that there are a lot of fake ads that are links to porn web sites.
behavior that is extortionate and predatory needs to be outed _in some way_.
some people favor total outing and that is the crisp and clean way to do it.
if you are worried about collateral damage or a possible misunderstanding, then documenting it here as an alias might be enough versus writing a review (for a provider) or blacklisting on the PO board (for a client).
as you describe it it seems that there is no ambiguity. you would be justified in pre emptively calling his bluff. it IS a bluff. one bad review isn't the end of the world. if it's a pack of lies you should be able to get it pulled.
i have no patience with clients who try to extort providers, nor do i have patience with providers who try to extort clients.
If you explicitly informed him that you require ID. If so, at what point did you inform him?
I'm not condoning his behavior, it was surely childish ("blow up my phone") and unethical ("ruin my career with constant bad reviews"). But you are also responsible for making sure he is aware of the "show ID" contingency for meeting you.
I either only see girls who do not have this contingency or in the case where I really want to see her, I figure out some other way to make her feel safe. But in almost all cases, I just cross her off the to-do list.
A safer, more reliable, and more private way "to be sure they are who they say they are" is to ask for their Date-Check safeword upon arrival.
I do always inform my clients of my ID check over the phone so that any confusion when they come to the door is avoided. I only use that method of verification if the client is not on P411, RS2k, or TER. Some clients do inform me that they are on TER but have never reviewed a provider before, and because of that i will also do an ID check.
With this client he did have a TER account but had never reviewed a provider before. I did although make one mistake on my part where i did not write down his TER sn, so blacklisting him on here might be a slight issue . However i did ad him to nationalblacklist.com
I do also understand that my methods are not exactly conventional, but so far it has generally kept me safe and usually weeds out anyone who wishes to cause me problems. Unfortunately in this case it has seemed to fail.
While I understand that your intent may not be to play devil's advocate solely for the sake of being adversarial I can not believe what you are posting. Since she is posting under and alias and has not named anyone we can take her post at face value as a notional example, under which we can reply with notional responses. Until either she or he come forward and name anyone then we have already attained objectivity.
So within the confines of what she has posted I think that the she is clearly the victim in this circumstance. But let us pretend that she did not clearly communicate the need to check his ID. As part of the screening process he still would invariably have to provide personal details at some point against which the information on his ID is verified. So her request to see his ID does not seem unreasonable even if it were 'out of the blue'.
Nonetheless, for some reason he really objected to showing his ID. At this point he should have done the right thing and just agreed to disagree on the matter and walk away. Making a scene and threatening to post false negative reviews is NOT reasonable.
I think that we can all agree that in a notional sense that the above is a fair and reasonable. No one's reputation is harmed. However should she choose to name this 'gentleman' as well as herself then things change a bit and indeed I would want to hear from both sides before passing judgment. I however must admit I would be inclined to side with her as I just don't see a dramatic provider extorting a client only after posting non-specifically on TER. IMO if she was being vindictive or predatory she would have just put him on the blacklist and not sought any advice or consensus.
What does that mean?? I've never heard of notional. Please define. You may be too intelligent for us.
Do you know the difference between your and you're? One is you are and one is your. But at least you can use big words like notional. Please enlighten me about notional. You used it several times in your post.
Like using 20 words when two will do. There's a level of hubris in some people that is rarely equaled. They think it makes them look intelligent...while others (the majority, I believe) see them more as sad and comical.
I didn't even think that I was that long-winded, nor was I trying to call you out or tie you to a whipping post. Feel free to ingore my handle; I'll do the same.
You did just right. If he refused ID and had a blocked phone, you're inviting yourself to something bad. Who knows .. he might have forced greek on you or somethin you didn't want to do.
I know a lady who got raped by a guy. She didn't screen him - private phone and no name when he entered. He forced himself on what she didn't like to do. He almost stole the donation back and she said 'well you forced yourself on me, so please leave the money' and he threw the money on her face.
I have a very close provider friend who screens like a maniac.....a man( who we now know is a serial rapist/killer) was intent on hurting her assumed a legitimate hobbyist name and his hobby information. He had this hobbyist email information rerouted to his own, and went into great detail to disguise who he really is. She screened him, checked his references, he walked in her incall.....and an hour later he attempted to beat her to death.
Even if she had asked him for id, he was intent on hurting her, he could have flashed her anything hurt her as soon as he walked in the door.
My point is.....as soon as the man is in your incall or you are in his spot.....you are immediately AT RISK. I fully support you putting him on "the list"......but don't think that showing an id means this man is the man you screened.
He sounds like a serious weirdo....he could have just left without all the drama geez!
Allure you are correct in that asking for ID would not protect her from the serial killer/rapist type. It could keep the short change faker types out or maybe even LE that did not have fake ID made who has also been known to play pretend if they are after a bigger fish say maybe a pimp or an escort service out as well. I know LE could easily have the best fake ID made but some times cops are lazy. So asking for ID is not useless. This guy may have very well been up to no good and it kept him out. I also think she should put the guy on one of those provider only blacklist sites so others can avoid all of his drama if they wish. I cam sorry to hear about your friend is she OK? This is a risky business we all play in, as there are very bad people on all sides of the envelope. Every one should do what they feel they need to to keep themselves safe.
Give your side of the story on the relevant regional board, and the ladies board....just be sure to post under your handle, with reviews attached. Put him on the defensive if he was a jerk...we'll be able to see through the bullshit if what you are saying is true.
And I know that is very hard under the circumstances you describe.
First, put his info on all the provider alert sites you can. This is a dangerous person. He knew you wanted to see his ID so this was a preplanned action on his part. Either that or he thinks you are stupid and would forget what you told him. Either way, not the sort of guy our community needs. He didn't hurt you but he's the type that is highly likely to hurt someone else.
Second, you said he wasn't a P411, RS2K, or TER member (or so he claimed). If not a TER member he will have a difficult time posting a review here, and if he does that will link "him" to his TER handle and that should be put up with the allerts. He should not be allowed to post a review (if I read the rules right) since no session occurred. Unfortunately there are other places he can post a review and you may never know much less be able to do anything about them. Some review sites have NO sense of integrity and don't care if reviews are true.
Third, consider changing your process a little. For those without P411, etc., refs consider meeting outside the hotel such as a coffee shop to see his ID before going up to the room. It makes things more public (therefore he's less likely to blow up and if he does you have people around), and it means he doesn't know your room number/location.
If you check their ID as you say "to be sure they are who they say they are" then why do you not look at their personal info, like their name? And why would you be ok if they cover their photo? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose?
So let me get this straight, you ask for an ID but you don't look at it and you don't care if they cover up the photo. Brilliant.
If you check their ID as you say "to be sure they are who they say they are" then why do you not look at their personal info, like their name? And why would you be ok if they cover their photo? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose?
So let me get this straight, you ask for an ID but you don't look at it and you don't care if they cover up the photo. Brilliant.
Someone has said to me "you can cover up your personal info" they mean address, DL number, etc. They want to see photo & name. I don't see where she said she didn't want to see the phot and name so I don't know whay you jump to that conclusion. Is it the best screening approach? Probably not. But here's someone trying to be newbie-friendly and I'm not sure the tone of your reply was appropriate.
Running to the aid of a damsel in distress...not in real life but on these boards.
She specifically said she did not care if they covered up their personal info. "Info" commonly means name and photo. What is more personal than a name? I called her out on that and she responded below that she meant that she would look at their name photo. So she clarified herself because her original post was vague. But to a mangina, it was not vague at all. You totally understood what she was saying without her saying it.
As usual, you jump in to speak for the provider and defend her against my "inappropriate tone." You truly are a mangina and cannot be objective in the least. Not meant as a put-down, I recognize you for who you are. I read your posts on these boards and I chuckle that you are always strictly one-sided. If mangina had a definition, you are the poster boy.
I guess everything I have taught you has sunk into the black hole. You still want to be King Mangina and willing to throw yourself on your shield at any moment a damsel is in distress.
You posted a reply to the OP, then you have to jump on Moethebully. It's like you are the MAN in control of threads. Think about it fool. Its none of your business what tone people have unless directed at you, such as my post.
Take a long trip to Bangladesh Algina the Mangina, it would make everyone here happy for a while.
We really need to come up with a new term for Algina, he has so much estrogen running through his veins that the "Man" part of mangina has been completely overwhelmed by the "gina" part.
How kind of you to line up and make it easy to reply to all of you.
But then there's really only two replies needed anyway.
Mo, I admit I'm off center in one direction, just as your posts are fairly consistently blunt. But most your posts have something to say, something worth reading, whether or not I agree with them. Obviously I often don't, but that's not the issue. The issue is they have some substance. And anyone can read your reviews to see if there's consistency across your positions on things.
Then there is the montage of Tutor, Repugnant, and PomPom. Three indistinguisable posters of unknown gender and unknown petigree. Nothing of substance, nothing worth more than the most fleeting brain activity. The most interesting thing about their collective posts is wondering if it's really one person or three hiding behind Mo.
I thought it was clear. Why would she ask for an ID if she wasn't trying to connect a face and a name. That isn't personal. I have already given a name and my face is right there to be seen. Where you live and DL# is personal.
When I first saw her post earlier this morning, it seemed she was a true alias since there was no yellow envelope icon next to her name. Also in her original post she acknowledged that she was posting under an alias.
Later, a yellow envelope icon did appear next to her name. Apparently it seems that after her original post, she became a VIP member either by payment or by the fact that she has reviews?
When I first saw her post earlier this morning, it seemed she was a true alias since there was no yellow envelope icon next to her name. Also in her original post she acknowledged that she was posting under an alias.
Later, a yellow envelope icon did appear next to her name. Apparently it seems that after her original post, she became a VIP member either by payment or by the fact that she has reviews?
Not sure what time zone you're in, but I think you may be mistaken. I saw this thread on the night of the 19th, when there were only 1 or 2 replies posted, and the OP had a real handle, written in blue, with the yellow PM envelope present. I remember it so distinctly because last night I PM'd a veteran member here inquiring as to how she could have an alias with PM access. I'm new and this confused me. I guess I'm still confused on the matter.
Over the years I've had my share of it! TER is very good at making sure GOOD HONEST REVIEWS get approved and not something that just sounds like a guy is just doing it to get revenge.
Don't stress about it, the true hobbiest here know whats real & whats some revengeful guy. I've attached a link where we post these guys to make sure this doesn't happen to another girl.
& ALWAYS remember your safety is the most important thing! If he can't respect you or your policies he's not worth your time.
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Wonderin'
