"I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.”

David Mamet's screenplay/theatrical: "Homicide"

Lt. Senna: (to Bobby Gold, a young, idealistic cop passionate about justice) "I'll tell you what the old whore told me, and it's the truest thing I know. When you start cumming with the customers, it's time to quit."

im not gay , not that theyres anything wrong with that .

classic Seinfeld ,  

yes theyre real and theyre fabulous .. teri hatcher , Seinfeld and her awesome tits ..  

 
"Camila is on television... For the same reason I want to eat her ass with a straw."

My fave comes from a movie and good old Betty White, from Lake Placid.....the first one

"If I had a dick nows the time you'd be sucking it".  

That coming out of the mouth of an elderly lady just cracked me up to no end.

And she was the one who said "balls are weak little things, now a pussy, that thing can take a pounding". Gotta love that old broad.

One of my current favorite shows, although this season lags earlier seasons.

Who came up with the concept that cheating is a sin anyway?

Some men do not believe in monogamy. The only reason we stay somewhat faithful is because it's not easy finding a girl who's cool with us playing around with other girls while she says faithful to us and doesn't involve other guys.  It's not fair for some girls but who says life is fair?  

Men do it because we can. Damn straight we can and we should cuz monogamy is a bull shit law created by religious pukes from many many years ago but this wasn't before they  

The same way girls get away with stringing along a stupid mangina for months and months on end, letting her chase her for half a year or much longer, letting him spend a shit load of money while not giving him absolutely nothing in return other than claiming "good friend".  
Of course he's a good friend to her! he's paying for everything for the ungrateful biotch!   And women do this because they CAN!  

Women are no different!

d: "All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power.

Can anyone guess at whom it was directed

this is cornier than all get out, but, from a song....

'if I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me."

sorry, but that's it....

you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you are the asshole."  -Rylan, Justified

Than one girl at forrrtttyy twwwoooo!!!!    
W.C. Fields

or the classic

"Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"
Mae West

I didn't start hobbling until after I separated from my ex wife