Do you just sit around thinking of shit (pun intended) to post...

that you know will get reactions and sometimes train wrecks? Is that what motivates you? No one ever takes you seriously except to say how perverted and gross your BBing ass is.

Do you flick it, eat it, or wipe it on your pants? Care to share any other details?

I eagerly await your response.

I totally agree with you, Udo..

I do not consider you clean, either.  

Clue: it's not showering before the BM that's the problem. most of us wipe after the BM, too.

No pun intended...

When I make an Appointment to see my Girl, I don't Eat anything for at least 4 to 6 hours. I don't Drink anything about 2 hours before.  

 
If you want to get rid of that after BM smell, consider doing a self Enema. It will clean out your Bowels that a Normal BM could not do. You'd be surprised of how much stuff is in your Bowels after a Normal BM. I usually do one before I Shower. This way there's no Embarrassing Odor and a need to use the Restroom during a Session.  .

Maybe this will stop if we find a solution to these problems. I assume a physician wouldn't sit and counsel him on this.

1 - get feminine wipes. I suggest Summer's Eve. $3 for a packet of 20 flushable wipes, each in an individual package. Works on men as well as women.

2 - Be encouraged. A healthy BM in the AM is a good thing. Many have problems taking dumps in the AM, let alone for days. IN fact, I believe NOT having proper BM's can give you bad breath. If it's storing up in there, it'll get to the rest of you. So you're good there. Might as well get it over with in the AM!

3 - A nice cup of Starbuck's coffee will clear you out in the AM, so drink your Starbuck's! (Based on the information we have, I suspect you already do this.)

4 - Make sure it's all out before taking your shower. Before taking the shower, wipe with toilet tissue, flush, then wipe with a couple Summer's Eve wipes. (From what I'm gathering, regular butt wipes aren't going to cut it.) Wipe with tissue again. I suggest regular ole' scott if they're sticky. The fancy, fluffy tissues will clog your toilet if you need to wipe a lot.

5 - Now you're ready for the shower. But first, brush your teeth and rinse with listerine. That shit will clear up bad breath. Go take your shower and wipe your butt some more with a separate soapy cloth from the rest of your body. DON'T USE THE SAME CLOTH! (Unless you wipe your ass last, which I do not suggest. Get that over with first.)

6 - When you're done with the shower, wipe your ass with another Summer's eve wipe, just to make sure it's as clean as possible. And when I say wipe, I mean the asshole too. Don't want pin worms! Imagine that at an in call! That'll get you blacklisted very quickly.

7 - Wash hands thoroughly, and up your arms as well BEFORE you dry off. This is out of respect for other members in your household. You don't want feces on your towel. What if someone decides to grab that towel and dry their hands or face with it? Including you.

8 - Now you're clean and ready to go… after a little deodorant spray on your pits, then some cologne in various areas on the body… but not too much, just enough to make you smell like a clean man, ready to go, brush your teeth again. The listerine has already done it's job, so just grab that toothbrush. Put a reasonable amount of toothpaste on your toothbrush and scrub away. Every tooth, top of your mouth, gums, and tongue… front, back, and sides. Rinse, and you're good to go.

9 - If going to an appointment to see a lady, grab some travel scope, which won't taste bad like listerine, rinse before you go into your appointment.

… While I wouldn't suggest too much cologne before an appointment with a lady, it's good for everyday life.  

If there is a time limitation, get up 1/2 hour - 45 minutes earlier than normal, and start with that coffee so you can take a fresh, clean dump. You'll make the sacrifice if it's important enough for you to ask us all for advice publicly, right? It's up to you from here, dude.

Hope this helps.

*Tips lucky hat to Udo for good luck. Happy St. Patty's Day.*

-- Modified on 12/1/2013 2:47:51 AM

Awesome Post.....LMAO.

Ignore the fucktards that have no sense of humor.
What the hell else is their to post that hasn't been discussed a thousand times!!

In this era of personal cleasing wipes.  If you need 'em, use 'em.  Then use soft soap & wash your hands twice.    
I would not expect any female to go near me if I was not properly clean.

What fucking troll?

"There once was a pungent old troll,  
Whose stench was a smell to behold.  
Any lady he pleases,  
Becomes racked with diseases,  
Since he’s not just an ass but the hole."

-- Modified on 12/1/2013 2:53:26 PM