So I am just wondering what makes (some) people on the board make newcomers feel unwelcome? Been noticing that it is rough here on the board for new people (man or woman).  

Assholes thrive on anonymity and they love to circle jerk each other. This board is a fertile environment for such.

If you read the forums without being involved, it seems like a small club of friends who use it, not a wide community like many other forums. It's tougher to break into a group of 5 or 6 people than a huge forum of thousands, especially when many of the posts don't really seem all too welcoming.

Posted By: SexyflirtAmber

So I am just wondering what makes (some) people on the board make newcomers feel unwelcome? Been noticing that it is rough here on the board for new people (man or woman).  
   
 Is it that they have to prove themselves? Or that certain posts feel they are faux?  
   
 Not trying to start an argument... I have ALWAYS been welcome here, even by the board rough guys lol. Even for years prior to me having reviews. I never once got questioned. But perhaps shed some light on what makes you (if this is you or your theories on why) rough on new people.  
   
 What makes you not want to play nice with others? Is it what they say or purely that they are new?  
   
 I 100% believe it is how you say things. I can nicely tell you to f*ck off and everything is well... other people may not do it nicely and they get slammed.  
   
 Just curious and maybe this will help the newbies or new posters on this board. Sorry I enjoy new people, especially female posters, as it seem there are few of us. London and I don't have enough time to take on all you guys lol. Of course Mstaylor is too much for you'all to handle ha ha.  
   
 Be great to have some suggestions on what is the best way to be cool here.  I for one, think it is important to be yourself. Be nice but stand up for yourself.

be able to self monitor?  In cases of societies with no one "in charge"... someone eventually appears as the accepted "leader" or i.e. moderator in this case... even though he may not be able to really remove, this person is respected, and looked up to...is impartial and fair no matter what!  

It's from the "adults".

Something for all to ponder the next time we go tsk, tsk over some news report over bullying.

.. you should have seen it before they made it user friendly.

I have been on many different kinds of forums with a varied amount of subjects, yet I've never seen the kind of hostility on those forums as I do on the general discussion forum on TER.  Whether it's the type of people that post on here or that the subject of sex brings about such passionate opinions, I do not know.  I've seen political boards tamer than this board.  My least favorite attack is when a provider disagrees or pisses off a hobbyist and he automatically attacks her appearance.  I also don't like it when a hobbyist sticks up for a provider or is nice and is automatically called a "mangina."  Since when does being a man mean you should be an a**hole?  I generally dislike confrontation and got stung a couple of time on this board expressing my opinion so I don't like to post too much.  I wish this board was more hospitable but unfortunately it's not.

the board has become more self-policing.  But not all newcomers are flamed.  The wise ones stick to the newbie board (as I did) and just lurk here until they have some knowledge of how things work in this game and on this board.  Then they're able to post some reasonable observations.  But the ones who jump in with lame or incorrect advice or observations get flamed by the self-appointed Board Police, which is not always a bad thing.  Jerks like the late, unlamented Serpius would come here (and even the Newbie Board) with really stupid advice.  If they were not flamed, newbies would take their crap seriously.  In a board without real mods, sadly, this is the only way.

The whiners and crybabies should grow some thicker skin. It is what it is. If you need hugs and kisses, go to your mommy or your family. That's what they are there for.

We were not put on this earth to all agree with everything everyone says or does! That would be boring!  

but a kiss and hug never hurts anyone

boards. All of the fuck boards are like this, most are worse in the "meanie" category.  I belong to a couple of non hobby related boards that make TER look like a walk in the park.

If you are offended by being called fat, hit the gym. Even your TER profile says "baby fat"

Yes it's definitely immature to go after a provider's appearance rather than coming up with a logical argument.  In that aspect it is rather like high school all over again.  I think personal attacks are malicious quite honestly.  If you say you don't like the personal attacks they call you a cry baby.  It's just straight up bullying.

I've never been called fat on this board until now.  A perfect example of what happens when you disagree with a hobbyist that likes to bully.

The people who get enjoyment by doing or saying things like you mention, do it for amusement, to get a reaction...  

That's true, it's much easier to hide while bullying if you have no pictures or physical description of yourself on the Internet.

a example of your comment about being attacked on your body and so he used that statement as a example to say that if your offended by someone saying something about your weight, then work out...  

If it isn't your weight they can use against you, it's your age.  If they can't use your age against you they call you an idiot.  There's already a stigma out there that hobbyist demean women, why keep perpetuating it?  Perhaps he didn't mean it as an insult but I still disagree with his logic.  I've never been called fat by anyone, it's not my fault TERs body type system is so screwed up.  Baby fat covers everything from being thick/curvy to being straight up fat.

a wannabe psychic...  

I am a BBW... baby fat is not a BBW

I didn't make it up. If you don't like it do something about it. You call that bullying? That's funny.

I will compliment when it is warranted, but I sure as hell won't when it's not. I don't think that's playing both sides if my translator is reading you correctly.

thats bullying... imho....teasing someone about something they have no control over...  

if a compliment is not warranted, doesn't necessarily mean a insult is too right?

Like I said, I can't do anything about TER's messed up eating system.  If someone saw me in public they wouldn't think "oh she has a babyfat body."  If you have any meat on your bones, no matter where it is, you are going under "babyfat."  Like I said, I've never been called fat before.  My description is usually "thick", "voluptuous", "stacked" but never "fat."  And yes I do consider you pointing out that my profile says "babyfat" inferring that if I don't want to be called far I should go to a gym when I'm not fat and never said I was called fat to be somewhat insulting.

I was bullied as a kid, it's not fun.  I was tall, quiet and didn't stand up for myself so was an automatic target.  It's not fun and now it's extended to the Internet.  So many kids kill or hurt themselves over Internet bullying, you'd think as adults we'd know better.  Luckily most of us have the sense to not do something drastic over it.

In GD, you can't call a woman a bitch or a c*nt without your post being pulled, but you can do that all day on the P and R board. Yes, it's hostile, but not nearly as bad as that board.

Ok, I have a huge problem with people who continue to use the word "bully" for such a stupid instance as being disagreeable on a fk board! When you or your child (heaven forbid) deal with a REAL bully who can cause you physical harm, and hurt you by rumors in your REAL life, you will know what a bully is. Someone making fun of you illegal hooker persona, is not a damn bully...they are just assholes. Big difference!  No one is being FORCED to post here! You can log off your computer and get away from anyone you wish...tell that to a kid at the damn bus stop!  A child can't exactly change schools every year when some kid is taking their lunch money, or literally beating them up. The overuse of the word "bully" is total nonsense, and rather asinine!



-- Modified on 4/19/2013 10:41:50 AM

Alright I can agree that the term "bully" isn't the right word, but I still think you should be able to disagree with someone without being insulted.  You're right, I don't have to post on here and call me a cry baby but I rather dislike confrontation and probably won't post on the GD board again.

I guess there is a reason for password protecting your photos. Show some confidence in yourself.

You can just ignore the posters that constantly attack one's physical attributes, and play with the others. Don't let ANYONE run you off if you WANT to post, girl. That's insane!

That if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. That is for children, whiners and the politically correct. Exercising that in real life leads to character retardation and sub servant  people.

belly rolls, small dicks or whatever insults every time they posted something w/ disagreed with, they wouldn't like it either. That's a fact and wouldn't mean they were overly sensitive either. It's just fucking rude and very elementary, but it is what it is. So just be you, sensitive or not, but just realize that a lot of the posters here won't ever change, so just ignore them. I ignore about 15 posters b/c their posts add no value to my life. good luck and peace

Ok, but let's be serious for a minute. If we carried on like this in our real lives, jobs, etc. we would be in serious trouble. It's all fun and games here, and no cause for self control, but in reality....that old adage rings true when you get off this board. I certainly can't tell my Preceptor to go fk himself bwahahhaa. I wish I could though!

until London intervened. She's going to hear it from me now.

Every organization, real or virtual, has a way of "indoctrinating" new people.  Especially on a place like this that has subcultures within the subcultures.

But I can apply it in real life, when it is necessary. Just because something negative or "rude" is said doesn't mean that there not benefits. I do it more selectively but I like to tell it like it is.

and your opinions have zero credibility with me. In real life you would be eating my left overs.

As to your first point, if I am not credible with you I don't care much.  It's easy to tell you and I do not fit in the same TER sub-culture groups.  I have quite enough credibility with those I am more compatable with.  For you and most folks on here I try to give credit to their good posts, and less to their others.  Just as I assume most would do with my posts.

See, you are already learning how to play in the sandbox. London is still going to get it though

See, I would expect you to go to the ladies rooms just to make sure all of the toilet seats are down.

Just stick with the other sardines. It has served you well for many years.

IF I feel low about myself, I will just put you down, or nit pick you and then I feel better about myself..  

lets take this theory in your job.... so, you would never go to your boss, who you hate, and would have a hard time finding anything nice to say about, and tell her that her breath stinks today, did she brush ?  

You will respect me after I untie you

but they are not quite extinct either. They are good to see, but most of their engines just putt along while sputtering.

In real life I rarely "suffer in silence" nor do I put up with stupidity, and I am very likely to tell an idiot with a big mouth to simply "go fuck himself"

Now keep in mind, I am happily divorced, no boss, no kids, there really aren't many people who can negatively impact my life in any meaningful way, so I can "tell it like it is" without fear of losing my job, or my wife, or getting thrown out of church or other silly organization. I am very nice to hookers though, except ROB's and ones who practice B&S or upsell.lol

There is no mod you can reach out to, or who will send you a PM suggesting a better way of handling yourself on the board, which is the way it used to be.  What we have now are faceless Admins in another country who don't understand the U.S. market or even our colloquial language very well.  So the way moderation happens here is if someone reports a post, Admin usually just takes the post down and perhaps moderates the poster.  Many posters are moderated, including all newbies, but that does not mean the board itself is proactively moderated.

What is it with you and the mornings? Do you wake up with a woody? You seem to be feisty first thing in the morning lol.

That was, until freshman year and they sprouted to full Cs, and I flashed those assholes at the bus stop bwahahhaa. They never called me that again

but at least they were calling you a big titted slut though.

You are not the only one. I am just as crass, bold, and LOUD in real life, but I clam it up when need be. I had to make a speech for a Business class way back when, and I actually got up there half drunk, and made my damn point about speaking whilst others are trying to do the same. I got docked like 12 points, but whatever. My GPA was high enough to move forward ha ha. I've calmed down a lot since having a child and realized in a few months, it's back to the real world of working 9-5. That's gonna be really tough for me, no kidding. It's been a while since I had to "behave."

my dad died when I was 7.5, and some mean kids would tease me about not having a dad (I know WTF!) or say too bad I was not in the car too...  

if some snot nosed brat ever hurts my child! I have a friend who lost his wife (mother of 2 children) and the boy has adjusted well, but the poor little girl is just so lost and sad all the time. I can't imagine going through that at such a young age. My parents are everything to me.

I am overly talkative, very outgoing, and  straightforward, enjoy people who can challenge me lol  

that I am a sadine driving a model T?

I stuck up for myself eventually... but was labeled a bad kid because of it...  

I can be a prick at times, but I try not to be cruel.

none of them really want a spineless, gutless excuse for a man that they can walk all over.

I try not to be that man. lol

When I first met my bf, I told my aunt.... "I dont know, he seems way too nice"  

but of course I say it with such sarcasm that no one believes me for a minute.

In my experience the only emotion a jelly fish can evoke from a woman is sympathy, and sympathy fucks rarely score higher than a six. lol

tying you up, and doing random tease and denials for hours and hours, till you were begging me to let you finally release..

Perfect!! Reply!

While you got him down, you can punch him in the dick too!!