I'm looking for a little insight into the male mind here  lol Provider thoughts on the subject I'm sure would be very interesting too.

If you were all set for a hot time and the provider turned up and you found her very unattractive, what would you do?  Just close your eyes and make the most of it because you were feeling horny or leave your fun till another day?

My ponderings on this subject are prompted by a review I had on another board which said I was very unappealing to look at and that he was embarrassed to be seen with me.

Why would anybody want to have sex with somebody they found so unattractive they were embarrassed to be seen in public with them?!  (unless it's some uncommon perversion I've not encountered before!!)

Carrie x
ps: this is not a post in search of ego-boosting comments, I'm comfortable with my looks and that's more important to me that what anybody else thinks of how I look

Most guys would probably be too embarrassed and tongue-tied upon meeting a provider to immediately tell her that they found her to be too unattractive to go further with the date. Easier just to go through with it and just not see her again.

I'll tell you a bit of my story.

Went on a guys trip with a couple friends. We each had a provider. One friend didn't find his girl attractive. He didn't send her away. He had sex one night and the next just partied with her at the clubs till they went back to the room. They crashed with no sex that night. Woke up early and went to the airport and said good bye. No big deal.

The same trip I had one that was very pretty. Just bad personality mix. She annoyed me so much, I paid for another hotel and sent her home.

So, no insight except to say all guys are different and will respond to situations in different ways. Just like women, there are few generalizations about men that are completely true. Funny perhaps, but not always true.

I found the discussion below to be very right on the money. Also I find your thread very well put. It's like a no win situation no matter how you see it. You go out of your way to meet someone who you think is picking you because he was attracted to you, not because you were not! I agree with your thoughts about why would he stay??????? I would think that his penis would not get hard. I was always told that men were visual creatures LOL So that tells me that if they found someone not attractive little willy would not get hard. Also what I find wrong about situations like that is that it puts the provider in a situation she should not be in. Why should the provider suffer because he was not attracted to her when they meet, and he also decided to stay? Even if she went out of her way to be 100% accomodating to him but yet he still writes that negative review. I only wish that it can be fair to a provider but sadly it's not. That is why there will always be some mistrust between clients and providers.

-- Modified on 12/10/2003 9:18:30 AM

I have not because I haven't had the misfortune of arranging a meeting with an unattractive provider.

But if it were to happen, I WOULD "send her away" (a cruel phrase) with a smaller donation. After all, she made a committment to meet me and spent time in doing so.

On the (rare) cases when I have had to cancel, I also send a token gift. When providers used paypal, I used that; these days I send an Amazon gift certificate.

In thirty years of hobbying, I've never done this. I'd consider it if I felt that the provider had deceived me or if I didn't feel safe, but providers are people, too -- and (no surprise) have to deal w/ hobbyists who show up and turn out to be ugly, unpleasant, smelly, etc.  

Sounds like the guy has a real problem.

..sounds to me like it's simply ONE LESS dude for the rest of us to CUMpete with! )

btw, might I respectfully ask if those gorgeous breast of yours are natural?  Just curious as your TER review says "Don't Know".

Now, regarding your desire for warm weather before visiting the good ol' USA, there ARE some rahter warm winter climatological locations available! *hint*

I have not found myself in that situation yet. I usually do a fair amount of research before booking a first time appointment including web sites and reviews, so I have a pretty good feel for what the lady is going to look like and what services should be available. I would NOT hesitate however, to leave my fun for another day under certain circumstances: 1) if she is not the gal in the pictures or if the pictures are way out of date and she looks significantly different (not for the better, of course); 2) if I discover that services advertised and in which I am interested are NOT really going to be on the menu; or, 3) if I am not feeling safe and comfortable with the setting (incall). For providers that don't offer any photos, I would be equally as comfortable leaving it for another day although I would rarely consider booking an appointment without same. I feel that is the risk that the provider runs if she is unable or unwilling to present herself photographically on a site or through private mailing beforehand.

With reference to your particular situation Carrie, I do have some extra pairs of glasses that I can share with that gentleman 'cause he SURE needs them IMHO.

First of all, after checking out your link, if the guy found you unattractive, he's got a problem... and to be honest, with the rest of the package, i don't know if many guys in public would be looking at your face! - lol.

Anyway, in my earlier days of 'hobbying", I did run into a few situations where the lady wasn't my particular cup of tea.  If it was at an incall establishment with multiple choices, I'd ask to see the rest of the ladies available.  If it was an outcall, I bit the bullet and went through with the meeting.  And sometimes it turned out to be a great date!  

But to give you a "little insight into the male mind", if the guy is horny enough, He'll sthup mud!  These days, with boards like this and lots of the providers with their own sites, you don't have that situation come up as often, if at all.

Carrie, first of all, I would ignore the comments of that reviewer.  You are clearly an attractive person (make sure to announce if you come to LA).  You may not be his type, but then, why did he book time with you if you were not his type.  I think a more likely scenario is that he was annoyed by something and decided to slam you for that.  

Now, from the guy standpoint, I would probably not have the nerve to walk out if I were not attracted to the provider.  I would make the best of the situation and figure I made a judgement error (my dick has no eyes so it doesn't mind).

I am also a paranoid guy.  With the amount of information hobbiests give to providers for their screening, how do I know a pissed off provider won't call my home or work because I walked out on them.  This would prompt me to continue the date even if I was not attracted to the person.

Don't let it get you down.  Play safe.

Happened to me once. The appointment was set up for $600. I went ahead and gave her the envelope and said that I just didn't feel up to it but she should keep the fee and leave. She took quite well. If you would have shown up, I would have ripped the envelope open and started stuffing more into it begging you to stay longer. Will I ever be lucky enough to get to meet you?

...I ask for a hand-job only and tell her to keep her clothes on.

Now the provider might not be that fine or pretty but there is something that a provider can do to make the best of the moment. It is the way the provider presents themselves.

As to you, young lady unless your photographer did an extraordinary job, I am not sure what the guy was complaining about.

Unless of course you didn't let him drive the 911, take him to the soccer match and all the other things you were going to do for me but forgot.  LOL


And we have had this debate about what guys will do.  Remember guys don't typically walk out of movies they have already paid for.  They gut it out to the end.  As I said I don;t know what this guy was looking for, Looking at your pictures you would get at least an 8 and more likely higher based on an in the flesh look.

Come to OKC and get some loving if you need it.  Just don't bring the 911.  This is SUV country. LOL

In the days prior to the advent of these types of sites and pre-internet when you had to rely on newspaper ads with justa written description and I find out there has been exaggeration, deception, etc. I have indeed sent that person away or left.

I have experienced two different instances where the provider wore a wig and it was so apparent it was laughable.  I left on both occassions stating that there was no way I could go through with it.  

On two occassions, I really was not attracted at all with the provider but the little head commandered the big head into going through with it to get some relief!  But no DATY, kissing was even attenpted by me as a result.  But, now those instances sre few and far between thanks to the reviews and assessing which reviews can be relied upon and which are bogus.

I find this story hard to believe!!  As they kids say nowadays, you are a dime.  Come to l.a. soon!

Yes, I've sent 2 providers away as I was misled about them..

I met Carrie back in May when she was in LA,& I can't imagine someone being disappointed in her looks, & I think I'm rather picky to....And I loved the Scottish accent to!

I am sorry, Carrie, but I do find it hard if not impossible to imagine that someone actually found you were "unappealing to look at" and that he was "embarrassed to be seen" with you. What shit was he smoking because it really messed up his vision and scrambled up his few brain cells he had left.

As to your question at hand, I think most guys would take a good "college-run" at most gals, even if they were not totally attracted to her. I would like to say that it is "genetic" but I realize that is the cowards way of explaining unacceptable behavior. Thus, I am a loss for words to explain why guys would act that way but I can only tell you that they do for whatever reason.

On a personal note, I have seen a few providers who although others might think that they were not overly "attractive," I found their personality, generousity, warmth and humor were what I needed and appreciated more than just their "looks."

It's difficult. I for one do not want to feel I am being rude, but at the same time, I am there for a fantasy experience.

I did meet with one person who was not quite as she appeared in her photos. Oh, they were her, a few pounds lighter, a few years younger. Many would find her attractive, but she was borderline for me.

I stayed.

Why? Because I had seen nothing but good things about her. And her own posts presented an image of someone who would probably be entertaining. So I took the chance and she turned out to be excellent. Would I go back? No. My curiosity about her was satisfied.

But the question is whether or not I would send someone away. Yes, if I was really not attracted then yes I would. We don't have to be mean to each other, everyone has different tastes. But if I am not attracted, then it won't work. I'm paying for fantasy.

Now, I know you said you were not looking for an ego boost, but if the pictures on your site are accurate, or even close, then the guy who wrote your review has to be a crack head. You are more than attractive.

- m

Only once. It was my only experience with a bait and switch. As soon as she opened the door I took one look and said... To myself "HOLY&*%&", To her; "I just recieved an emergency call in rise up the elevator and have to leave immediately." I gave her 20 bucks and headed on my way. Fortunatly I had other provider phone numbers with me and within an hour I was grappling with a dynamo

One thing I wouldnt do is stay and feign a good time only to write a bad review.

Hi Carrie:

Although we have never met, I have perused your web site(on more than one occassion). I can only presume that the individual you refer to was either legally blind, or had a standard that no women alive could measure up. In either event, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

I admit that in those days before the Internet, I had a less than attractive provider knock on my door on several occassions. I was a bit younger, and like many others did not have the nerve to ask her to leave.

However, after this happened about three or four times, I decided NO MORE!

I answered an ad for an incall in my area, and allowed the provider on the other end to "Upsell" me into a threesome.

I knocked on the door, and two of the most obese women I had ever seen answerd the door. I very politly told then I was going to pass, and left.

Anybody that has seen you has remarked that you are stunningly beautiful, gracious, and graceful, and dress with class and elegance.

There clearly was something ELSE that set this man 'off' and only you could guess what that could be..

I'm thinking maybe he felt inadequate in some way and there are those humans who cannot ever feel that way UNLESS they make someone else feel badly.

I feel sorry for him because he has many internal issues to resolve and it doesn't sound like he's making progress..

Nobody'd believe that review for a minute!

I have never seen a provider whom I found to be unattractive.

In addition, when I'm out in public with a woman, I'm not concerned with what other people think.

Who knows what was truly going on in that guys mind.
Im a frequent visitor to your web site and I think that you are beautiful.  I also find your posts to be well written and intelligent ( that lets me know that u are the WHOLE package )

Please consider visiting Chicago

Never had it happen.

I have had some un-pleasant times, but not due to unattractiveness. (Nice word)

Would I? I would guess it would be more because she did not look like her pictures. But then again, I find all women beautiful. Maybe I would leave for attitude or hygene reasons.

I've lusted after you for months on the Internet.

If I ever get the chance to date you (professionally) there is no way you are ever going to be turned away from my door!

Warmly,
Loarthan

Carrie, the male mind is a wonderous thing.  It'll leave you wondering, all right...and I've got one of them.

Things that might have been going on:

1.  The guy is a jerk, trying to boost his own ego by dissing a well-known provider.  It happens.

2.  He really didn't find you attractive, but decided to perservere based on your excellent reputation.  Sometimes the wrapping isn't the best part of the package.

3.  By the time you were together, the small head was doing the thinking, and it wanted - now.

4.  He's delusional and/or a complete ass.

All I know is that if you ever make it to Atlanta, I really want to see for myself.  Between your posts, pictures, and reviews, I suspect time with you would be well spent!