This is both a health concern for the group and a question for any providers who may be reading.

Today I had the dreaded experience of tearing a condom during a session with a provider.  I have to admit, I'm a bit shaken.  When the latex split (which was painful, by the way), of course I pulled out.  But I'm worried that the tear occurred before I felt it, which means we may have been essentially unprotected for an unknown period of time.  She and I shared one of those eerily quiet "oh shit" moments.  She jumped in the shower and I did the same when she was finished.  We made a mutual decision to stop the session, both of us too startled to continue.  I have to say that she responded well and didn't blame me at all.  We had a genuine concern not only for ourselves, but for each other.  And she made it clear I was welcome back.  

For any providers reading this: is there anything I can or should do for her, such as follow up with an apology?  Obviously, this was not intentional, but I do feel bad because we are probably both thinking about it tonight.  Am I completely over-reacting?  Should I laugh it off, or is this serious?  I have always taken pride in knowing that even if I didn't offer a provider with a fun sexual experience, I always made it clear that I am trustworthy, respectful and pleasant.  However, tonight I can't help but feel like a bit of a dirt bag.

Why should you be the one apologizing here. It takes two to tango. If you were really rough with her fine but I think the fault lies with the condom. I am a provider in the San Francisco Bay area and I always check the condom frequently during the "act". Especially if said "act" is a long one.

Yours, Lisa

THEY JUST DON'T KNOW IT!!! What?!?! You don't agree? Well………have you ever checked to see if the condom that your provider put on your dick actually went ALL the way down your shaft? I'm willing to bet it doesn't! And do you really think that you're protected with only part of your dick being covered and another part exposed?

Alright, supposing your somewhat of meticulous person who brings his own………and ones that fit just right. Okay………but you're still gonna end up having vaginal secretions at the base of your dick, right? And isn't the base of the dick where most of us shave? When people get infected with an STD, the virus usually enters through damaged skin…….ya know like shaved skin…….

Look I'm NOT at all advocated BBFS and like most of you I get covered FS but BBBJ's. However, when I got tested, the doc told me that there are numerous types of hepatitis let alone STD's that can be transmitted orally. I just think that we've all been somewhat delusional about our protection.

Soo.........while you might feel like a dirt bag for the broken condom, I'm really not sure that your provider was placed at more risk than she normally is. JMHO

-- Modified on 12/12/2001 12:04:58 PM

well...i empathasize as i know i'd be freaked out (if that's any consolation).

definitely should get tested.  keep in mind there is a 12-week waiting period for HIV test.

if it were me, i'd wait 2 weeks and then a) get std tested.

and either b) wait an additional 10 weeks before i got hiv tested or c) call 1-800-for-aids , if you are in california, or any hiv hotline and ask them the validity of the PCR-test.  that one can be taken a LOT sooner than the standard antibody test, but it's expensive (although first of all who cares at THIS point and secondly it's probably cheaper than the provider was) and i've heard a couple of mixed opinions about it.  but for peace of mind earlier it may be an option.

First of all, relax.  I've been down this road before, and I'd be willing to bet many of the other "hobbyists" have too, whether they realized it or not.  I've had probably somewhere around five to eight (I've lost track) condoms break during sex with providers (escorts, street walkers, etc, etc).  Each time, I got tested after six months and came up negative.  Each time, I read, and read, and read internet message, after internet message after internet message, web site after web site, and on and on.  I honestly believe that a single event like yours is very, very unlikely to lead to HIV infection.   I've read the odds from many different studies and basically, your chances of contracting HIV from a woman who is not in a high risk category whose HIV status is unknown is something like 1 in 100,000 (or higher).  If she had HIV, worst case, you'd be looking at anywhere from a 1 in 500 to a 1 in 8000 chance, depending on whose research you use.  The concentration of HIV in the female vagina is low.  Unless you have a concurrent STD with resulting sores on your genitals, or cuts/abrasions on your penis, I'd say you're in good shape.  I'm not telling you to not tested...by all means, get your peace of mind, chances are that it will be negative.  It's scary stuff, sex.  Let this be a reminder to you that condoms are no gaurantee of safety and especially with other diseases, like HepB (100 times easier to contract than HIV) you should take every available precaution you can.  Having sex with strangers is fun but it is absolutely serious stuff that can and sometimes does result in tragic consequences.  Little tip though on the HepB - when you go get tested for HIV, ask for a Hep B series shots (three in the series). You will be immune to HepB afterwards.  Hope this helps.  Don't worry about it, just get the test and you'll do fine.

I think that if you are THAT worried if you caught somethihng, you should reconsider what you do for fun.  
The best thing is to go to the DR.  RELAX, I mean stressing out is not good for your body or spirit.  

You can call 800-584-8183 and ask for next day testing center nearest you.

Or go to http://www.HIVTest.Org and click on the link to find a test location near you. I found a national outfit with a link that said "HIV Testing Center - Next Day Results".

Thanks to a fellow hobbyist for sharing this information.

The Good Doctor

When a man gets infected with an STD, it enters through his urethra.

I seem to remember reading that genital herpes was transmitted through damaged skin........