long long ago, in a territory far far away, there was a hobbiest, but alas he knew not that he hobbied... he only knew that everynow and then, if he did not feel the presence of a lovely lady and explore intimate relations with her, he tended to get "restless"!  so he sought out truck stops... and CBed his way to bliss... yes... twas the 80s!  time of the "rubber duckey!"  With kenworth's haulin logs!  

Verify?   heck, that usually meant that you were breathing, had cash and no obvious oozing sores on your penis.  You were lucky if you got a 5 or a 6 in looks...  GFE stood for the 7th, 6th and 5th letters of the alphabet.  DATY?  ya gotta be kiddin me? right?  ever go into the john at a truck stop?  yeeech.... and back then... all the ladies were traveling.... lol!

the alternative to that was on the very very very high end where your boss or a very close friend would tell you of a certain lady... and in that sense you were screened... but not so anyone would know.

skip over my married years... during which Joseph "Joey" Buttafuoco and Any Fisher gave a whole new meaning to the phrase fatal attraction....   truly a hobby gotten out of hand.  

And now we have the issue of screening....  and how much info to provide providers....   What I am trying to say is that the dynamics of the world's oldest profession have changed.  I have had many providers tell me that they feel like because of TER they are no longer in control....  Sweeties - you are in control.  There is a demand for your services that indicates to me, that there is much unhappiness in the world.  None of the gents who see you are happy with their current situation - no matter what that situation is.  Whether it be W. Jefferson Clinton... or blue6314 http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=210579&boardID=12&page=1

We need to provide the assurance that we are ok, if we want your best effort focused on us and not worrying about why we brought a back pack with us to the session.... or why we smell slightly like formaldehyde....  etc.

and on the other hand, we hobbiest need to know that you are not gonna show up at our work, home, school, our kids school, the church or other place of worship or any other place gathering or building that we may be known to frequent and blow half the brains out of our SO's skull.  That would be a nice mutually assured pact to "do no harm" to each other.

I guess because times have changed, but not the nature of the hobby, or for that matter of mankind.... trust has to be inserted in the equation.  I think back to the gals of the truck stop days... they were not the same as now.

they were not as smart, fun, hot or sexy.  So if we want them, we are going to have to give them some of what they need - assurance of safety... no more, no less.

-- Modified on 6/15/2007 12:57:12 AM

Of course it has to do with the ladies being able to trust that you're not LE or some psycho, but more than that, they, as well as us, need to know that we can trust each other with our infomation.
The few ladies that I have seen I trust completely.
As a matter of fact, several are good friends who I can, and do, talk to on a regular basis about life in general.
One lady in particular, I consider as close to being best friend as someone can be when they don't live near each other.
I have no reservations with sharing anything with her, and I know she knows she can do the same.
It is benficial in the hobbying sense also because when a lady trusts you, she can give you a glowing recommendation to someone else and then you start building that trust with someone else and pretty soon, you have a great reputation around here. So when you see someone new, your "reputation" has preceeded you.
They already know that "bobb3950" is an alright guy and is someone that can be trusted.

I've rambled a bit, but you get the jist.

TRUST.
You trust her, she trusts you, things go well from there.
The only way you can gain that trust is to be honest, forthright, and upfront with her in supplying the information she requires to make her feel safe.

Just my opinion...
B

You're worried about a provider who's "gonna show up at our work, home, school, our kids school, the church or other place of worship or any other place gathering or building that we may be known to frequent and blow half the brains out of our SO's skull."

Where have you heard of this happening?  If you're referring to Amy Fisher, she was not a provider.

-- Modified on 6/15/2007 12:56:05 AM

but I've had a couple of my clients tell me that they gave personal info (work number, home phone number, etc) to a provider as part of the screening process.  They thought their sessions went fairly well, they posted positive reviews, and suddenly the provider went nuts.  She's stalking, threatening to call spouses, employers, etc.  It was a nightmare for both.  So yes...such unfortunate events do occur, albeit infrequently and are rarely published for fear of further realiation from said provider.  Both were finally happy to just get out of the situation.  I never ask for this information so my gents can feel comfortable that I'm not going to go psycho and come after them.

-- Modified on 5/9/2007 9:48:46 PM

The truck stop might have had CB. The internet has made it possible for an "unapproved" marketplace to take advantage of instant communication and organize itself into something much better.

Amy was an escort!  When she shot Mary Jo she was working with an agency to which Joey had introduced her.  Technically I guess you could say that Joey was "not a client" but maybe like Victor Kiam - he "bought the company!"  

Clearly she was too young to handle the emotions that come in escorting, and that is one of the many reasons that I prefer women who have a bit more maturity about them.  Also women who've not escorted before tend to not get the "we pay them to go away" part of the deal (although there are ladies I would dearly love to have them stay....).  

That she could not handle the emotions is also why I am fairly comfortable with an escort who does request information - It tells me that she has her "Stuff" together, she is careful, I'm probably not going to walk into a "Sting" operation and that she is less likely a target of LE.  I know that can be a false security, but that is just my take.  

WRT Amy Fisher, clearly she was used by Joey, but as clear is the fact that Mary Jo was an innocent bystander... and was probably more hurt by her discovery that her hubby was in fact, not the guy she thought he was.....  (my question, was she the wife he married?)  

So was Amy an escort?  by all accounts she was indeed - Now, why did this stick in my mind so vividly?  Because at the time this story broke, I was in the process of getting a job with a company on Long Island, and was there on a house hunting trip.... and I recall thinking that perhaps I could call an escort agency! lol!!  but then the Amy story appeared on my hotel TV screen....  and in any event - I married about 6 months after that - and that - as they say - ended that! lol!!!!  

occurance - but!  does happen.  In fact, I've a radar detector that sometimes senses "issues"... I avoid them.... as I know that several skilled providers sense them as well.  It is all a part of screening.  and "screening" goes both ways....

There are times when I've contacted a lady - and she has been so "odd" on the phone, that I do not make an appointment...  It does happen.  And I am sure that sometimes when a gent calls, he is just too weird for the lady to feel comfortable, that she refuses and that too is ok!

All I am saying (and that others have posted) is that with the "new way" of setting up appointments to see each other, mutual trust and an agreed understanding of what this is about (sex & some level of human companionship for money) are necessary for comfort.  The request by a lady for the gent to Provide some information is quite understandable... and that is what I don't get about so many men....

Ward Bond was Seth Adams... longest trip across the country in a Wagon Train
A Paladin was kinda like a knight in medieval times... that was before Richard Boone became one... in the american west.
Before he was Kaptain Kangaroo - Bob Keeshan had to be taught to talk, as Clarabelle had no words.... Howdy - doody...
Dorothy Kilgallen, Arlene Francis, Bennett Cerf Steve Allen, Robert Q. Lewis, Johnny Carson, Tony Randall, Joey Bishop, Victor Borge, David Niven (the ORIGINAL Bond, James Bond) were all panelests on What's my Line?
And Penny's Uncle (Sky King) flew the SongBird.... over the "tamed modern" west! after a gig in WWII....

Don't mess with me bub.... I watched it all on TV !!! Including Castro roll into Havana on the top of a tank..... (just imagine - if the urban legend that Castro almost played professional baseball was true... and actually happened........ hee hee!)

self-delete. Wrong area.

-- Modified on 5/10/2007 12:27:06 PM

I was merely referring to my friend taking solice in the fact that he'll probably never find a normal person to fall in love with, which he posts quite a bit regarding the situation.

Also, someone coming to a church, a place of employment, etc., is far and few inbetween. A provider could still do that to a client if she gets to know more about him through conversation, especially his website, and if he shows a driver's license listing his real name and address. It's ignorant of anyone to think otherwise.

I was just trying to humorously tell my friend he's handsome and confident and to have faith. However, thank you for standing up for him. He's a nice person.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 6/15/2007 12:59:32 AM

So many people get off the beaten path of the actual topic, so it's hard to make sense of what they're saying. I think what everyone is trying to say here is that "Providers need to feel safe and Hobbyists need to feel the same."

However, there will never be a completely safe environement or situation in this business, but references -- especially from another provider --help. I know I don't want to be hurt or go to jail. I'm actually more afraid of the latter.

Providers should screen however they feel most comfortable, and if someone doesn't like it then choose another provider. That's it! Simple! We don't need to analyze the heck out of this situation.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 5/10/2007 12:56:29 PM

And I think you know that I too am fairly careful about "the hobby!"  However, I do read on TER (and everything in here is of course completely fictional for all you LE types out there) that there are those rare individuals (both hobbiest and provider) who somehow cannot identify reality and fantasy.  And with skilled providers, and superb BS artist hobbiests... one could get confused....  easily!  

We live in a world in which it seems all too frequent that someone cannot distinguish between reality and "play" - as a result we witness the sadness that occurred at VA Tech.  I have to admit that the majority of women I've had the pleasure to meet in the hobby have been nice - real and great companions and friends.

is greatly enhanced.  But the basics remain the same.... I really don't ever think that technology will ever change that.  Ever see the movie Rollerball (the original with James Caan) or Soylent Green (with 'chuck heston')?  In both of those movies, providers were portrayed as classy, sexy highly paid courtesans.... provided either by the state or the corporation as part of the perks of the job.....  but the basics were still there....

Hey, I know what you were trying to say. Don't worry. I'm more worried about your expression of love and ex's. We've all had them and YES it was a bad experience. But life goes on. There is hope for love and companionship.  I'm forwarding on to you this lovely email that was sent to me regarding Jack Benny, the actor and comedian.

WOW -READ THIS ONE ...brought a tear to my eye



   

The person who did this was Jack Benny....
You have to read this it is absolutely beautiful......

Each year he sent her roses,
 and the note would always say,

My love for you will always grow,    
with every passing year."


She knew this was the last time

that the roses would appear.    



She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
   
Her loving husband did not know,

that he would pass away.    

He always liked to do things early,
way before the time.
   
Then, if he got too busy,

everything would work out fine.


   She trimmed the stems and

placed them in a very special vase.
   
Then, sat the vase beside
the portrait of his smiling face.    

She would sit for hours,

In her husband's favorite chair.    

While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.    

A year went by, and it was
to live without her mate.    

With loneliness and solitude,

that had become her fate.    

Then, the very hour,

The doorbell rang, and there
were roses sitting by her door.    

She brought the roses in,
and then just looked at them in shock.  

Then, went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.    

The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would explain, Why would someone would
do this to her, causing her such pain?    

"I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,"    
The owner said,
"I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.    
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance.    
Your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.    

There is a standing order,
that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance,
you'll get them every year.    

There also is another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.  
Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here,
that's the card that should be sent to you the following year."

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.    

Her fingers shaking,
as she slowly reached to get the card.    
Inside the card, she saw that he
had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote...  

"Hello my love, I know it's been a year
since I've been gone.    
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.  
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.    
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.    
The love we shared made everything
so beautiful in life.    
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.    
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.    
I know it's only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.    
I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.    
When you get these roses,    
think of all the happiness that we had together,    
and how both of us were blessed.    
I have always loved you and    
I know I always will.    
But, my love, you must go on,  
you have some living still.    
Please...try to find happiness,    
while living out your days.    
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.    
The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,    
When your door's not answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,

in case you have gone out.

But after his last visit,

he will know without a doubt!

To take the roses to the place,

where I've instructed him

and place the roses where we are,

together once again.





Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;

Someone who changes your life

just by being part of it.



Someone who makes you laugh

until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe

that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you

that there really is an unlocked door

just waiting for you to open it.


This is Forever Friendship.


This is the sacred RED ROSE.


Just be nice & pass it on....May we all be loved  so much.



   





   



Friend if I don't get this back I can take a hint!



   



How many people actually have 8 true friends?



   





   



Hardly anyone I know!



   



But some of us have all right friends and good  friends!!!

I wasn't replying to your post...I was replying to the one above that implied he had never heard of a lady misusing the information they give.  Yes, I agree that the information can be obtained differently over time, nor am I knocking girls who request the info or they men who give it.  It was just a first hand observation about how said information was used for ill.  Stay safe!