Seems like a win-win for you (back to hobbying) Although essentially you are correct. There is absolutely nothing he can compare it to except what he might have read. I'm surprised it wasn't a 10/10 except TER probably would have kicked it.

I know some people have lost their virginity with a pro, but for the past 20-30 years that really hasn't been necessary. I don't know if I would have wanted to do it that way. Yes I was nervous as hell and made many many mistakes. But damn if I'll never forget it!!

If you weren't with the right pro it could have been very mechanical and still rated it 9/9.

Not sure if this is the type of response you were looking as I haven't read the original post yet.

Happy Hobbying!!!

I really like well thought-out threads like that, especially when the author isn't afraid to politely step on some toes - well done! In particular, the quote "hobbying is for people who have lived life and have their shit together" is an opinion that hadn't occurred to me.

The third paragraph is a great comment on newbies writing reviews too early in their journey. I was somewhat guilty of that as a rookie hobbyist last year, and it leads to grade inflation b/c you start giving a 9/9 and then find out the talent gets much, much better.

I don’t think it is accurate to say that hobbying REQUIRES maturity and self knowledge. At its most basic level, hobbying is a trade of  compensation for the satisfaction of lust - even the most immature and clueless can pull this off.

       Maturity and self-knowledge may make the experience richer and safer. But even this is not always true. If you do much thinking about the risks posed, you may carry so much baggage that you don’t enjoy the encounter fully, or may choose not to participate at all.

        And I doubt any provider is going to put a sign on the door that says "hobbying is for people who have lived life and have their shit together." That excludes a huge portion of the market...

One thing that you neglect to cover is that when the ill equipped do something foolish, the rest of us get to be reminded without stepping in it ourselves.

As I've aged, I've learned that it's less painful to learn from the mistakes of others, rather than feeling compelled to see if it would be different for me.

Thyank you for your post. I agree about the hobby being wasted on the immature (regardless of age). The first two decades in this lifestyle were wasted on me, I suppose - it took me a long time to discover the pearl in the oyster, as it were....

In my 20s it was - wow! a new toy..... slam bam thank you ma'am.  NEXT! I did fall in love with a couple of pretty little Asian girls along the way.... that lasted about a week or so in each case..... hey! I was a young pup.....

In my 30s it was - cool - such a varitey of pretty flowers in the garden of life; let me see if I can learn something useful from these ladies....... and I ran across one special lady - my first cohabiting relationship with a pro - and she brought out the BDSM beast in me ' But otherwise, slam bam thank you ma'am. Too jaded now though to fall in love.....

In my 40s it was - thank you God(dess) that I can still do this; and, gee, some of these ladies are really nice people, fun to be with...... so I began a very few LTRs and learned even more about myself in the context of these "relationships". I began to take my time and savor..... I made a couple of mistakes in terms of boundaries - but these were mutual mistakes - that led to short term relationships with no future to them. And a lot of my encounters were still once n done.

In my 50s, I began to discover something  - it's more satisfying for me to develop a sensual relationship over time with a very few ladies as opposed to the once-n-done philosophy that previously characterized my compensated screwing.
I developed a few LTRs, got into a really good cohabiting relationship with a fav..... I experience this sport now much more as a series of relationships. There is more intimacy and friendship involved. But I have no illusions.... Jaded? Yes - but not as cynical as I had become.

I wonder if I'll feel differently when I turn 60 - I have a year and two months to find out.....

I don't think that you can really put an age quota on maturity.  I have been paying for sex since I was about 30.  I'm 51 now and though I am enjoying the hobby more than I ever have I wasn't exactly running around half cocked for the last 20 years either.  A lot of what I have learned about women, men and human nature I have learned from being around sex workers for half of my life.

Yes, I have lived a very full life, so far, and I consider myself to be very mature but learning and growing was part of the process.  If I had waited until I was all grown up to start hobbying then I may well have matured differently...and missed out on a lot of really good sex!

-- Modified on 1/9/2009 2:59:46 PM

may I add some always are looking from total strangers. If you don't know what is right and wrong any amount of approval from others would never make wrong right or right wrong.

Also baffled and dumfounded about questions on hygiene and lack there off.

Astonishing coming from adults.

While "hobbying is for people who have lived life and have their shit together."

Unfortunately, sex is for anyone who has the equipment.  No way to stop that...at least history tells us.

is something that enhances everything in life, but usually requires a bit of life experience to achieve.

Personally, I think being able to establish boundaries and discuss them increases the fun of the hobby, as it allows for more honesty and actually connecting with someone.

But at least shoploppy post asked for advice.  He soumds like he is early's thirties.  When I was his age, I knew it all.  Was advise not to enter an affair with a married woman, ended up a three year ordeal, I regret, particulary when it cames our kids. I have many more nuggets but perhaps the overwhelming response to walk away will encourage youngin to follow the advice

Re: Here's the problem . . .

I have to mention something about your post pertaining to the virgin.

As for the virgin who posted a 9/9 review. Are you saying he was wrong by rating a 9 for Appearance. Are you saying that since he is a virgin he has no way to compare someone's appearance? Even virgins can see the appearance of someone and compare it to others. They are not blind. Well most are not blind. =P

As for posting a 9 for the service... sure he has no point of comparison but he can still rate the service to his liking. For a virgin to give a 9, it must have been a good session overall. A 9 rating would include the main qualities of a good session, such as comfort ability, pleasure, and fun. And you know how nervous a virgin can be for the first time? For him to give a 9 in service it was probably more comfortable than pleasure or fun.

As for Shloppy's post. I have no idea what he was thinking. It could have been a joke for all we know. But like how some have said in this thread already, age does not measure maturity.

I hope you understand the view that I am coming from, because I think the virgin that you are talking about might be me. Although, I am not a virgin anymore =P.

Well, as the person in question, yes, it was a bit of immature behavior I was engaged in. I posted what my thoughts were, not saying they were wrong or right, and I got a lot of feedback that helped me to realize what an idiot I'd been. So I learned something, and it sparked a conversation that attracted a lot of interest. So there are some positives here.

I'm not sure that maturity is a requirement for this hobby though. But hey, who am I to say?