Okay, so I am not hideous looking nor deformed but, without doubt, I'm below average in looks for my age group.  I strive for impeccable hygiene and try to dress well for all my visits with providers.  Also, almost all the providers I have visited have encouraged return visits.

Still, when thinking of scheduling an appointment, I often hesitate not wanting to put yet another young beautiful provider through the trauma of being intimate with a middle aged fugly dude.   These thoughts also dampen my enjoyment of a session even when I don't get the feeling the lady is repulsed by my presence.  

The quandary is I would schedule more appointments if I could get past the feelings and the ladies would probably like the business.

Is there a way to change such a mindset so I can get past these assumptions and enjoy the hobby more?

Just remember, she is not giving you a "pity fuck" handsome or fugly, she is providing you a service for pay. As long as you are clean and respectful your "attractiveness" or lack thereof is not part of her mindset. Paying her bills is.

I just don't feel like working today, so I'm posting a lot.

I don't know if I'd describe myself as "fugly", but I'm old, which is sort of the same thing. To complicate matters, I seem to insist on seeing 20-something providers. There's just no way that they're going to find me attractive. The best I can hope for is that they're not repulsed. (I doubt they're repulsed by you).

Some of them are very good actresses and some have even made me believe I've gotten them to come. As much as I'd like to believe it, I try not to dwell on it (emphasis on the word "try"). In the end, I'm paying them to make me feel good. I want a very good BJ, and I want CIM. If I get that, then mission accomplished. Anything else is icing on the cake.

I just wish I started doing this 15-20 years ago. I suspect the providers' reactions would have been much different.

Pay your money and enjoy having sex with a beautiful woman. If you try to book again and she says no (which is unlikely), then you'll know you have a problem.

With those attributes you may actually be a nice change of pace from the boring/arrogant/socially-stunted guys they see. If it really bothers you, just turn off the lights (and don't knock on the hideous and deformed guys - they need loving too!).

For what it's worth, it wasn't this guy's rippling abs that scored this girl:

Enough providers have said on TER and their websites that looks don't matter to them nearly as much as someone who has good hygiene, good manners, and treats them with respect, so I've come to believe it, at least to some degree.  But it's best  to find providers who practice what they preach in that regard, and there are plenty of them out there.  Recently a lady I had met a few times asked me how old I was and when I told her, she said nothing.  I feared she was put off by my age, so I said something stupid like "I really don't like getting old."  Her response was so sharp it startled me:  In a scolding voice she said, "Don't talk like that!  You're a handsome man.  I like everything about you, your hair, your eyes, your sweet smile.  You're my baby!"  It was so spontaneous that I believed she meant what she said, and it helped make my day.

Enhancing you god given natural beauty from with in through diet and exercize and SPA activities, {I even been doing my own french man and pedi at home, and now been doing my own waxing and my own air brush tan all at home to save money.}

 
So a nose job and some restylin injections in my lips,colored contacts {green always } what I usually buy.  and some breast implants is not an option right now. Those would be my selections if I went for some upgrades to my appearance.  

                         If I had ten grand floatin around though, I d go get those three procedures. But any hoo.  

 
   I hear ya , there is alot you can do to improve the body/complexion with out surguries and it will improve your appearance and its free but its alot of work.  

   Try going on a min cleanse, I am starting one today, its not really a cleanse just a stricter diet regiment , I found it by googling information on how the Victoria Secret Supermodel's prepare for the run way . Resulting in brighter complexion and slims you down a tad, making you look more vibrant, So depsite maybe a big nose, or not confident, if you have radiant skin and a nice body it can at least improove your self esteem a tad, Then do a spray tan, a mani and pedi, and whiten teeth. Groom and shape eye brows ect.  

You can be like not astethically gifted. i am not at all. There are so many ways to enhance your inner vibrancy with out being born a looker so to speak. ....Just takes hard work.  

 
   So you do 2 hours of excercize a day,  { I may count stretching for 45 min as part of the 2 hours on a yoga mat. but thats just me i alter the regiment to suit me  } a gallon of water a day {you can drink it with fresh fruit slices in it so its not so boring, or just chug it to get the chore of drinking that much out the way, or drink it as herbal tea. with fresh squeezed lemon juice. }
then 6 small meals a day each containing enough protein so by end day your have consumed your body's weight worth of protein.  
for me thats approximately 26 grams protein 6 times a day. Every 3-4 hours.  So you want to stay slightly hungry all day eating smaller meals, picture taking one normal meal and cut into two . Lots of vegetables. Dont do TOO MUCH FRUIT. Like use spinach and banana in the protein shakes.

   Then cut out carbs n fats. { make an exception like a hot beverage with a spoon of coconut oil} Or maybe a little olive oil on a salad, I mean you need a teeny amount of good fat per day, but like for cooking steam or boil and grill everything for 6 weeks. Sans oil or tasty butter {bummer!}
             Try and do mainly lean proteins and overloads of veggies. And of course YOUR not a vistpria secret model raining for the run way. You can cheat and like alot too. And you will still see a huge difference.  

 
Then the last part I dont suggest a man do, but for us girls that want to look model svelte for a expensive photo shoot.  
After the 6 weeks : no carbs , no fats/ 2 hours excercize daily.  
THEN for the torture, I am NOT gonna do this part the regiment cuz prego.  

 
   You then do 9 days of a liquid diet of egg white protein powder shakes and veggies maybe tiny pieces banana or apple, Then three days before shoot return to drinking water normally.

Day of shoot dehydrate  and dont drink and dont eat for 12 full hours before the photos. {this makes you look ripped after all the diet n excertcize over past weeks }

 
I did the lazy version of this regiment for my last Professional shoot with Tim an Evita. I just did three days of a liquid diet consisting off egg white shakes made with no fruit just veggies like kale or spinach cucumbers.  With no solid food, ^ times a day i chugged the veggie egg white shake. GNC sells a vanilla egg white protein powder that is good.  

 
                   Then day of shoot I did the dehydrate and no food that day of the shoot, to allow my tone and muscles to show more defined.  

 
That was my July 2014 Shoot on the 2 yachts with Tim and Evita and those were not enhanced or air brushed in ANY way i actually looked like that that day!

 
  But thats what i do when i start feeling frumpy i research supermodel diets, how they train for the photo shoots and prepare.

Or study body building .
Plenty you can do to work with what you can, it may not shrink your nose, but fuck if your ass is flawless and tanned and your skin is glowin people may choose to overlook a huge nose. hahahah

You are not the only person who feels this way.

You stated that you are neither hideous nor deformed. But if you feel handicapped by your appearance, look at the hobby in a different way. Consider that the providers you seek out make themselves available not only to suave ladies' men clients, but also to those of us whose physical appearance is flawed in one way or another. We are a major part of many providers' market share. How you select and approach the provider (through introduction and screening) can alert her to why you have decided to search out companionship and sexual expression through such a service. When she understands what is in store, and agrees to see you, she will not be shocked when she opens the door. You are who you are. You have a birthright to enjoy the same pleasures as anyone else, and you have chosen to enjoy those pleasures with one particular provider. She will be as grateful for your business as you are for her allowing you to visit her.

It sounds like your physical flaws are slight. Clients far more challenged than you have fantastic experiences with providers.

Your paying for a service. Enjoy it!!!!  

Your pretty self centered if you think they take special exception to you. I would make an educated guess that these ladies are not attracted to the majority of men they see. Your no exception, your the rule. Your clean, you dress well, they encourage you to come back??????????????

You sound like a drama queen.

Seriously... I'm sure your not as bad looking as you think. I think all of us have a skewed vision when it comes to our self-image. If the gals are encouraging return visits, you're doing all the right things. You just need to learn to relax and enjoy the ride.

I have Cerebral Palsy from birth and am 76. I've had no negative feedback from providers, all have returned. They like my positive attitude, intelligence and bawdy sense of humor. My sexual skills are limited, all have been accomodating.

I think being a gentleman goes a long way with providers. i can almost guarantee the provider has been with worse looking guys with a poorer attitude than you. The fact that you feel empathy about it is proof. The ladies are here to provide companionship, self confidence, and fun. Im no expert but i imagine having them feel safe and appreciated will go way further than being with a hot asshole.

But as long as she's not obvious about it, then I don't really give a shit.

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I've been going to a place lately where I see a fair number of other guys, both older and younger, naked in the steam room. Believe me, it's starting to make me feel pretty good about my own looks. I'm not suggesting you start hanging out with naked guys, just know that most of us are far from perfect.

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How can it be a pity fuck when you're paying for it. A pity fuck is exactly as it says when someone fucks someone else out of pity. The women you call don't have any idea why you are calling them so how could they possibly know you need pity?

but saying "for your age group" implies that you have more of a body image issue. If that's the case, use it to your advantage: start working out, running, swimming, whatever you can do safely and consistently. Providers won't care, necessarily, but you'll feel better about yourself, you'll have more energy for your appointments, and in the long wrong maybe use the money you don't spend on healthcare to see more providers. Now that's a virtuous feedback loop we should all be able to get behind! And above all, let this flowchart be your guide:

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Comfort and pleasure are just as important, if not more important.  

I think the real burden for providers is being with guys with bad attitudes. If you’re worried about burdening ladies with your looks, you’re probably a pretty considerate guy. Considerate and your hygiene’s on point? You might already be a dream client for some ladies.  

Take them at their word if they ask you to come back. They can get a dollar from anywhere, so don’t dismiss that as them just being nice or trying to milk your wallet.

Keep in mind, there are a lot of people out there, in this world and the regular world, who get off on getting other people off. If you can relax into your sessions and let them please you, that alone could make it a pleasurable experience for some ladies.

I've heard that people like that have been known to rub a few out thinking about how they made other people cum

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I believe I was accidentally cc'ed today on an email exchange from a provider I wanted to see and one I'd seen and used as a reference. The provider I wanted to see asked about chronic lateness, bad breath, cleanliness, loves leather (?), wants provider to make 1st move (again, ?). The provider giving the reference said I was a real gentleman.  

Nothing in there about looks.

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You really have some strange sessions with providers.

 
And no, you'll never sound like skarp

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I've seen some (many) guys much worse than fugly, and I have had so much fun with them I've barely noticed their looks.  

As a provider, I really enjoy the variety of men I meet. I love hearing about their experiences, their lives, their travels; their favorite books and music. I have structured my business in a way that I generally attract nice people (I don't ask for a photo, or their weight...I only care that they are kind and respectful). I rarely ever walk out of a date and think, "Well, that really sucked." More like..."Wow, he was really nice and I can't wait to look up ______ {something he mentioned to me}." In fact, one of my clients told me about a class I'm taking right now; a few years ago, another indoctrinated me into the ways of Pirate Bay and basically furnished me the means to download and teach myself software I'd never have had access to otherwise...that literally launched my civvie career (sorry to anybody who works for Adobe, but I did pay for it later on). Just with those two examples alone, my life has been immensely changed and enriched by the men I've met. Everybody I've met has taught me something, though.

As a provider, I've had some traumatic experiences...and NONE of them have involved looks. They've involved assholes. I've seen guys who were definitely north of 400 pounds, and that didn't really faze me (OK, maybe for a second...but if they were really nice, that's what I remembered most about them...yes, really). I'd be 100% happy to see a 400 pound guy again, so long as I enjoyed his company, and there were no issues with hygiene, pay, or disrespect.

On the other hand, I've had guys come in with the attitude of, "I must be SO much better looking than all of your other clients. You must feel SO lucky to be with me." An attitude like that is a vatly bigger turnoff to me than a double-wide gut. I'd prefer a guy who comes in with the attitude of, "What do you like/what are you into? What do we have in common that we can talk about? How can we have the most fun possible together?"

I do feel that some guys put blinders on to very bad situations, if a girl is reviewed on TER and 'reputable'. So it's cool to hear someone who realizes that the choice to pay someone for sex is a momentous one, and should be taken seriously from the other person's angle. But that level of consideration/compassion is exactly why you'd be a great client It's the way someone makes us feel that we remember after the fact...not the way he looked

and immediately thereafter... alcohol.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
 - George Bernard Shaw

That's true. Actually, deformity can be sexy.

I say screw all that physical and psychological work and have a drink!

I know that I'm not an attractive man, not fugly, deformed or hideous, but below average as you describe. Trust me, I know, I'd be invisible to all of the women I've been with in this hobby. And yet, I'm perfectly comfortable hanging around naked for the entire session with any and all of them. I too try to be impeccable with my hygiene.  

I think you are way over thinking it when you go to your appointments though. The women of this wonderful sport are well aware that the vast majority of us are going to be less than hot to them. Be yourself, no matter what happens no one can take that away from you.

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Lather, rinse, repeat. I love it.

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That's right. It's his $$$ that scored this girl.

Hm you're paying good money for a service. All the providers care about is the money. Why should they care how good looking or how ugly their clients are?  

Afterall they are only obligated to touch the clients' penis and give head then spread their legs. That's the extend of the job basically. It's not like they're obligated to make mad love as if they're with their husbands or boyfriends.

Last but not least that's why they're called "pro" or professional. They have been well-trained and have plenty of experience to deal with ALL kind of situations -including the extremes and the worsts.

It's not the WORST thing in the world to be fucked by an ugly partner while getting paid shitload of money. Picking lettuce under the hot sun while knee deep in fertilizer AND being paid minimum wage IS the worst thing in the world. Let's get our perspectives straight, shall we

Just realize that we are all human, NONE inherently better than another (yes, I really do believe this).
I've been with many hot 9s and 10s who have expressed their own insecurities to me - which has really surprised me - because I started off in this hobby a bit insecure myself initially, in awe of the beautiful ladies I was with.  When it dawned on me after several meetings that certain little uncomfortable vibes I was picking up had NOTHING to do with me (at first I thought this), but rather a lady's own shyness or insecurities, it got me to take the focus off myself, and to think about her - which made me more relaxed and helped me to help her feel more comfortable too.

Just learn to be comfortable in your own skin and to truly respect those who you are with.  Others will pick up on that good energy, and you will be surprised at the outcomes - as good energy is a magnet which appeals to everyone - in this hobby and outside of it.

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There are lots of things you can do to become a better version of yourself.  And when you've done it you'll feel better about your appearance.  I worked on a few things and now hookers describe me as "God-like."  Although it may have something to do with my huge wallet.