Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher called on him to answer a question.  "Johnny," she asked, "if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None," Johnny replied, "because the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

In return, Johnny says, "Okay, I have a question for you now.  If there are three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone and the third sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess... the one sucking the cone?"

"No," Johnny replied.  "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
---


A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.  I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started.

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.  She let's him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.  He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.  Second, relax.  Let's have a cup of coffee, then...

(scroll down)













We'll put all these Frosted Flakes back into the box."




-- Modified on 11/19/2001 2:03:57 AM

This kid takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together. When they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give
me a blowjob?"

"What? You're crazy?!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick, I promise."

"No! Someone may see; my parents, a neighbor..."

"At this time of the night?" he says. "Trust me, no one will show up."

"I've already said no! And no means no!"

"Honey, it's just a little blowjob," he pleaded, "I know you'll like it too."

"No! I mean it!"

"Baby, don't be like that."

At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in a nightgown with her hair a mess. While rubbing her eyes she says, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come down and blow the guy himself, but for God's sake tell your
boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button."

a man works in a pickle factory. he tells his wife one day, "you know, i have the craziest urge to put my dick in the pickle slicer" and the wife tells him to give it some time and maybe the urges will go away.
now some time passes and the man comes home one day and his face is as pale as a sheet of paper. his wife asks him what happened. and he replies " you remember when i told you that i wanted to put my dick in the pickle slicer? well, i did it."
and the wife asks, " so what happened?" the guy replies " i got fired."
the wife becoming frustrated says " i mean, what happened with the pickle slicer??!!" and the husband replies " oh, she got fired too."