Let's face it, there are lots of dumb fuck posters with IQs of a fungus on the boards.

You have more veggies in your head than most !

Why in hells creation would someone share information like that with you? Now about the pea brain thing? JK

Seriously, discussion boards are an opportunity to have engaging conversation about all things hobby related BUT.......why would the sane of mind(that right there answers my question)insist that someone here wants to hear, or could help with an issue of that nature? Talk about rambling.

Ever wonder why a lot of people have abuse/rape stories? If I may venture a guess, i'm thinking esteem issues warrants the NEED for unsuspecting ears being used for folly.

I've said enough. The human condition baffles me everyday!

A lot of guys write deliberately provocative posts, then when everyone jumps on them, they back peddle and say they've been misunderstood, that's not at all what they meant, you're too stupid to get my deep thinking etc.

It's hard to convey an idea any less clearly than was done in that rape post.  To then want a pass and say how it's just the opposite of what we all thought it meant is BS.  We all thought what we thought because of the way it was written- simple as that.  If you don't want people to think that, don't write it using some crazy straw logic pattern.

If people want to play cute and post convoluted ramblings about controversial topics, they should expect some blowback.  I've seen it plenty on the local boards too, so it's not specifically a Gen. Discussion board issue.

But without the other information you get when talking to someone in person, like facial expressions or tone of voice, a post on an internet site will be taken literally 9 times out of 10.  And it's not the readers fault when that happens, it's the guy who didn't communicate what he thought he was communicating.

"Why in hells creation would someone share information like that with you? "

Victims of abuse often feel cleansed after opening up about their abuse experience.
 
I disagree with your analysis of self esteem issues being a motivating factor for abuse confession.
Or perhaps you are correct.
Either way Phil saved someone some shrink bucks.

Since "the rape" thread is no longer on the first page, I'd like to take the opportunity to comment on it.  A good number of people read the first post, saw red and let loose.  I suppose that's fair given that the OP did a poor job of making his/her point.  I got quite a few PMs as a result of that thread and had several conversations with the OP.  It was clear that it's a hot button topic.  Still, for those that read the first post and hit *TILT*, there was more to the topic.  I'm not about to relive it now, but the point is that on the really long threads, you have to realize that things twist & turn.  There are no hard & fast rules of engagement when it comes to opinion, but I noticed that many people refused to see the point.  I think that's a shame since it appeared to be an important one on a topic that (if you read all the posts) we all seem to agree on.

To those of you that shared your personal experiences of sexual abuse with me, I can assure you that I've deleted those messages and scrubbed the information from my pea brain.

I thought it was a wonderful opportunity for a rational discussion as well, but stayed off that thread because of all the purely emotional, non-linear reactions. Yeah, part of the problem was the OP did not frame the topic well which opened the door to all sorts of shit. He tried to clarify, but by then it was too late to return to planet earth.

The sad fact is providers have very little recourse to rape through our legal system. Most prosecutors will not seriously pursue their cases once their backgrounds are revealed. Most jurors will not be empathetic or sympathetic when the facts of the situation when the rape occured are made clear to them. That's fucked up and a further argument for legalization.

If someone doesn't pay their hotel, restaurant, green fee or rental car bill, they are charged with a larceny crime and no one feels sorry for them. They are prosecuted as criminals. If a provider is raped when she is forced into a non-consentual sex act, that is also a crime but society doesn't give her the same consideration as the other businesses I mentioned.

So is it possible for a provider to claim she was raped? Yes.

Is it possible her claim will be taken seriously by LE? Probably not, and that's not justice.

some damage have an overwhelming need to vent. a board (and its mods) may _seem_ relatively safer and more anonymous than venting elsewhere.

it is more complex than "esteem issues". those may play a part in particular cases. but the reasons why this or that person my overflow that way are many, varied, and individual.

But it did bring up some good points. Discussions on the dark side of the hobby do need to happen. This game isn't all about, fantasy, profits, and orgasms. Things like rape do happen and it needs to be discussed from time to time.

Post like the rape post so how important it is that the good people in this thing need to watch out for each other as some in this game on both sides of the envelope are really quite evil.

Hearing stories like how a lady got raped at a meet and greet because she drank to much serve as warning not to allow yourself to get that drunk with strangers. (No, I am not blaming the victim.) Hearing about how no one stopped this rape should act as a wake up call so we are all more vigilant to stop things like that from happening in the future. We need to drive the scum like the discussed rapist if what the OP of the rape post happened as he said it did.

And discussing such topics show how important screening is for all parties in this game. Everyone should screen everyone else in this game because bad things can happen to those that don't. (Yes, I know there in no 100% sure way to find out all the bad apples out there, but screening will reveal most of them as what they are.)

It is indeed a shame that some refused to see the point of that thread. It is also a shame that the guy/gal that started that post went about it all wrong. This is an important topic, shame that thread degraded so. Hopefully though maybe one person started to take personal safety more seriously and something like what was described in that post can be stopped in the future.

Now everyone go get laid.



-- Modified on 8/3/2011 9:27:45 PM

G2 answered best, just above, but I'll add, I don't know why it's so hard to understand what was infuriating about the presentation of that post.  half of the community are providers.  the post basically lead with "is it okay to rape them?"  It was easy to follow the rest of it and the OP's excuses after that, but there was no possible excuse for that presentation.  and the fact that it was about an actual event?  even more insensitive.  for my part, i don't see why the backlash itself is that hard to understand.  shit-stirrers and crazy-makers deserve the backlash they get.  myself included, btw.

But, I believe that I have your shoe in brown.

We can all agree that the OP did a miserable job of conveying the message.  That said, why are you so hell bent on ignoring the message?  It seemed pretty relevant to the people that go over the initial anger.

LP, what's the point of discussion from your POV.  the only thing might be "how could people get so callous, they haven't done anything about it?"  I guess further discussion would  be, how far does the blame go beyond the one perpetrator?  and how do we go about doing something, like, right now?  so start that thread.  but that isn't the other thread.  the freaking glibness is still eating at me.  you don't get much more real than a capital crime.

Why bring it up? Everyone is in total agreement about how wrong it is under any circumstances.

It's about as valid as starting a post with a subject like:

"Is it ever OK to have sex with kids?"

AS outragous of an example as that seems it has all the same nuances. It happens. People let it happen, somtimes to their own child. And sometimes it goes un noticed or unpunished.

BUT ITS FUCKING WRONG AT EVERY LEVEL AND EVERYONE AGREES ON THAT!

Pointless to bring it up.

There are other people  besides dantananot and myself who feel that way, and we are just expressing OUR individual opinion.

Big Fuckin Deal!!!


HH

I am close to two providers that was raped acting a provider, one of which is my wife. Nether happened at a M&G, but still I know of rapes that happened at other kinds of parties just as described in that thread. The police do not take crimes that are perpetrated against providers as seriously as they should and are just as likely to arrest the provider as the guy perpetrating the more serous crime. So we as a community, need to police ourselves.

I am not talking about vigilantism, just looking out for each other and shouting out warnings. There are some extremely dangerous people in this hobby rapists, murderers, robbers, blackmailers, and the like. Even though they are such a small percentage of us they are out there.

I also know several ladies that don't screen. I am guessing even fewer guys do. Warnings about things like what may have happened at that M&G must be sounded from time to time so people can wake up and start protecting themselves. Everyone must screen everyone else in this game, and take simple steps to protect themselves like not getting too drunk at parties with people they do not know. If the thread that pissed everyone off, this thread, or any other tread on the subject gets one person to start taking steps to protect themselves and one insistence is avoided, then it has a very valid point.

Yes, everyone that isn't scum agrees that rape of any kind is wrong. But that does not mean it does not happen in this game. It does. And since it does happen, warnings must be shouted out as some don't take steps to protect themselves. If my wife would have screened her clients, or not drank what her client was offering, maybe the horrible event of her being drugged, robbed, raped, and driven out to the dessert and left to die would not have happened to her.

Warnings must be shouted. It is why my wife has given me permission to post about her rape. It is why post like the rape post, even though it was done in very poor taste, needs to happen. And yes, on a parenting board threads on "Is it ever OK to have sex with kids?" are also need to wake parents up so they can protect their kids.

Again you are entitled to your opinion that it isn't needed, but I fully disagree and have stated my reasons why.

Now everyone start screening everyone else.

scoed

I can see why you feel that way. I also appreciate the idea "So we as a community, need to police ourselves."

I think that any serious topic that is so close and personal to many people such as this one is best approached with seriousness, and will always be received better when people DO NOT use a baiting tactic.

In fact, that ineffective method will likely overshadow the message like it did here. Awareness was not raised, unfortunately, as far as I can see.


HH

no VIP at this time


HH

In fact I believe I said it pissed everyone off, he went too far. and it was done in poor taste. But I disagree that it did not raise awareness. It had over a 1000 reads and spawned this thread with over 250 reads. It got people attention. That my friend does raise awareness.

scoed

P.S. do you have VIP?