I am very anxious regarding a thread on the Chicago board regarding the giving out personal information. I have been in the hobby 8 months, seen 6 different providers for a total of 10 dates. They have all been well reviewed with 30 or more reviews. I have given each of them my real name, state of residence, several a work phone number, and most my day to day cell number. I live in a rural area so all of these meetings were 200 to 800 miles away from my home. I have joined P411 and it is pretty common in my area, but I have found it not to be as common in others. Is it not common to give out your real name and other real personal information? I would love input from both hobbyists and providers. I hope using an alias is OK-I am very anxious about discretion on this subject. PLEASE READ THE THREAD ON THE CHICAGO BOARD-the link has been corrected and it works now. Thanks!
-- Modified on 10/9/2008 7:24:01 PM
-- Modified on 10/9/2008 7:26:04 PM
-- Modified on 10/9/2008 7:27:41 PM
-- Modified on 10/10/2008 4:15:24 AM
I personally require your info to be given to me regardless of whether or not you were checked out by a 3rd party. I don't accept just references either. It is very common that ladies ask for your personal info. It's our safety we are trying to ensure by verifying you. Probably not a good idea to give us false info. However, using an alias on the board is perfectly fine. Muah!
I have not provided my real name to any providers for over a year. I have a fake hobby name. So long as the providers I have seen in the past, and who serve as my references, know me by my fake name, it all works out.
"I have not provided my real name to any providers for over a year. I have a fake hobby name. So long as the providers I have seen in the past, and who serve as my references, know me by my fake name, it all works out."
this is the way it should be, in my opinion. But how to you get to this point if you are just getting started and have no references?
please help!
especialy if you are in need of something very special and that special someone is not comfortable with you.
Each lady has her own comfort level..Some check whitelist and activity on TER while others may want a verification agency reference and others want a reference from a recent provider. Now there are those ladies that are only comfortable with doing their own research and choose not to bother with anything but your legit info and do the leg work themselves.
The ladies who ask for your info want it for their protection. No reputable provider is interested in anything more and will dispose of all of it unless you say otherwise.
Your link to the Chicago Board does not work so I can't give you any more info
Kisses Haley
The link to the Chicago board post has been corrected and now works. Please read it.
I am wondering how this provider outed this gentleman to his wife???
The first reference I gave and outing a gentleman
First a lady who said she was a provider called to get a reference on a gentleman I saw a month before. Then this gentlemen sent me an e-mail from his e-mail adress saying he needed this reference with the ladies name. I called the lady and said he was a very well educated kindly gentlemen and you will enjoy his company. The provider started asking questions about what service I performed and how much he paid me. This did not sound right to me so I said "I am sorry but that is not the kind of company I offer"
The gentleman in question called me a few weeks later to apologize for letting my info get in the wrong hands. He had left his computer without a password protection on and his wife got into it. He saw many ladies and most outed him without meaning to.
I have since put on my website how to get a reference from me and I tell every gentlemen I see. They must call me first and give me permission. I can't tell you how many providers are upset with me for doing this and how many gentlemen question my practice.
I can not imagine any lady doing this on purpose. What would this do for her. I would like to know the rest of the story before I pass judgement. Was there some flaw in the information this gentlemen gave......Did the lady not follow his directions
If this lady was at fault the word will get out and no one will trust her
Kisses Haley
-- Modified on 10/10/2008 6:13:45 AM
this would be why I do not give out refs or accept refs from a Lady unless she herself is well reviewed, has a website and is established.
Otherwise anyone could just call for info. I am protecting myself as well as protecting my Gentlemen.
I have been a provider for over 25 years but I have learned so many new things since belonging to TER. I never thought of references before..
Kisses Haley
Agreed! I too check out providers before I give out references. And since I request my number to not be given out or posted for any reason, I know that if a female calls asking about so and so, I can just simply say you have the wrong number.
I am sure there are vindictive people out there, but it just doesn't sound right to me. I only do references by email and only if the provider lists her website. Its way to easy for the wrong person to get information. I wonder if in this case the wife set the provider up......
Kari~~
That's a good point! Perhaps the guy didn't clear his call list or they get itemized billing on a shared phone plan.
Reminder guys, do not use a phone on a plan that you share with your SO if it's itemized (listing all calls or have access online to all calls). Throw away phones are so cheap these days! And don't keep our numbers in the call log, erase them immediately after the appointment.
I also state to the lady, If I'm not the guy in the photos, then the session is free! lol!!! seriously, My photo is on the web, and I do tell them that if someone else shows up, it's not me.
I've NEVER been disappointed, or compromised by a reputable provider.... or even a B&S operation. just has not happened... What HAS happened though would not have been protected even if I had given an alias... so what happened? Two different things...
No 1: B&S - plain and simple... I paid the lady 1/3 the fee for her troubles, apologized and left. Nothing happened... no one ran after me, no one chased me, and I did not receive any threatening phone calls... just nothing happened at all....
No 2: I recruited a stripper - we had three separate appointments... and on the third, she drugged and robbed me....
But that is in 100 or more encounters in over 5 years...
www.roomservice2000.com this verification membership is safe and sound without any problems from le or snooping so.
thsy don't set up appointments so no problem from le getting your info and only known providers will be able to get a verification. saves everyone grief and it is the best verification service out there no boards, no drama.
When I first started hobbying, I gave out that info. Now that I have established myself (with respected ladies and verification services), my first name, cell phone (hobby), email (hobby), and board handles are all I have ever needed to see a lady. I've never been asked for any more info than that.
Note: I have seen a psycho in my early years, and I know for a fact that she keeps the info. She is still around, so be careful.
I am ok with P411 as your only screening -- as long as you have a few recent (within the past six months) references or Okays to vouch for you.
If you do not have an "active" P411 (or Date Check) account, I do require full name, date of birth, employment info, etc. I screen not to be nosy, but to help make myself safer.
This is exactly why alternatives to screening should be thoroughly explored. It just is not safe to give out your personal info. Providers certainly don't. I think there should be a serious effort put into finding a more private and anonymous alternative to screening
I thought you had to give your real info or a lady won't see you?
By the way, what's the Chicago board? - I'm new here.
I posted this on the Chicago forum, but will post it here too cause it's a national issue.
I disagree with not giving out verification information. A true professional wouldn't use this information for stupid purposes like this person did. Having verification for us levels the playing field so that a gentleman will think twice before hurting or abusing us. It is only to be used in extreme cases where our safety was compromised. Not for jealousy issues, or to threaten clients for more money/appointments and etc.
Just having provider references isn't enough because with the clients, YMMV as well. I have known hobbiest who will treat two gals well so they can have their references, then turn around and treat traveling girls like crap.
Gals like this make me so angry because they are being selfish and compromise our methods of safety. I understand being hesitant about giving personal information, however perhaps being selective is key. If a gal has been around for several years, well reviewed, no drama on the boards and conducts herself in a professional way, then I don't see why there should be an issue with asking for verification information. However if the lady you are thinking about seeing is the opposite of above or unknown, then yes, I can understand being hesitant. Perhaps wait till you get a better feel for her and she gets established. I know the dick thinks other wise and wants her now now now. It's not fair to pull away from all the ladies who require verification and go to the other extreme because of what this gal did. Just be selective and careful with who you want to see. That works both ways and usually ends up in a good experience for both parties.
Now, if we all lived in a perfect world where everyone treated one another with respect, validations and references wouldn't even be needed. Sadly, more times than not, I have seen provider friends who do not verify and only accept references or vouches get burned and hurt.
Anyways, my two cents~
So rare in fact especially with well regarded ladies that one incedent set off alarms. Stick with good people and you will not have to fear such things.
I am willing to exchange this info only!
I am a lurker, but this subject is possibly the most important in the hobby. I have all but given up the hobby, and the increased demand for personal information is one of the reasons. All the agencies will keep your information, it makes it easier for them for future appt. All though most providers are well intentioned, if they are compromised, trust me they will give your information up, all of them will. It is the exact opposite of discretion to put anything in an email or an email application, the first thing investigations reveal are emails, it is the easiest evidence in the world. Furthermore, you do leave yourself vulnerable if the lady is upset with you for any reason, real or imagined.
While I agree most well reviewed ladies are well intentioned, you increased your risk substantially by giving out verification info. Also, some will intentioned ladies don't understand how to really be discrete and there is no one nosier than the secretaries at your job, any out of the ordinary phone call could raise suspicions.
In my opinion, hobbyiest have given up way too much power to the providers. The whole point of the hobby is discretion and anonymity, you might as well just get a mistress. But as long as our little heads rule, the women will always get us to compromise.