My 18 yo daughter is heading off for her freshman year at college.  I'm writing her a letter of encouragement, support and advice which I'll give her when it's time to say goodbye in a few days.  One topic which she and I have never openly discussed is boyfriends/sex (any mention of the opposite sex is greeted with rolling of the eyes and a reproachful "Dad!").  She's very cute, smart, mature and has plenty of male and female friends.  She also has a huge heart, full of kindness.  I recognize that between her mother, school and friends she knows, in a technical sense, what's going on.  However, she's never had a boyfriend and I'm 99.9% sure she's never engaged in any serious intimate behavior.  She's always been a late bloomer and her focus has been school (very solid grades) and her social life (she's popular).  The essence of what I'd like to impart to her regarding boyfriends and sex is that SO relationships and physical intimacy can be wonderful and not something to be intimidated about or fearful of or avoided due to our society's less than healthy and frequently contradictory sexual attitudes.  My wish for her is to have a healthy, open-minded and enjoyable relationships and a like minded sex life without hang ups.  I want her to know that physical intimacy is an important aspect of those special relationships to be thoroughly enjoyed equally and without shame.

remained a virgin until she married.
My oldest didn't.
My wish for both, was no pre-marital sex.
My oldest was wise enough not to get pregnant.
They both are married with children now and i'm very proud of them both.
The bottom line is, I love them no matter what.
They both have a strong faith in God and their lives are the better for it.
Good Luck with your daughter.

You sound like a Great Dad. At this point you've done all you can. Giving her Sound Advice and hoping she makes the Correct Decisions regarding the opposite Sex. (or same Sex if that's her preference) She is going to have a few bumps in the Road, nothing you can do about that. Experience is a great Teacher in certain aspects in Life, Especially when it comes to People. All of us and including yourself had to learn about the opposite Sex through Real Life Situations both Good and Bad.

To you , daddys little girl ! What would I say if I had a daughter ? That she has a gift , her first time , and she should either keep it , or share it with someone special to her . When ? Not when he wants it , but when she feels the moment is right ! Will her heart get broken ? Probably , but you'll want her to know that you'll be there for her . That college is her time to grow in and for many aspects of her life and sex may be a part of it . But don't get caught up in what others are doing . She should focus on her studies and just like math , or history or science . Take relationships one step at a time . That if she does decide to have sex , have safe sex . Ask her if she has ever seen condoms , and how to properly use them . Also tell her you decided to get a gun permit and a pitbull. Drinking is your main concern and drug use on college campuses. Guy , don't be a stranger when she's away and good luck. But it sounds like you did a good job so far. Good luck . Oh , which college again ? Only kidding !

-- Modified on 8/20/2013 5:01:46 AM

Does anybody else think this is a little creepy coming  from a hobbyist and posted on this board? (Was your daughter a virgin when she married or is that like 'she had three shuddering o's before I stuck it in" ?

I think this is wierd

"normally" to you, I would offer the following.  My daughter and I do not now talk (she is 16) and has had sex (nothing like taking your 16 yr old to the emergency room for a sports injury and having the nurse ask, "have you had sexual relations?" and from that point on being embarassed beyond belief).  I also am now convinced that her mother has taught her poorly with regards to her interactions with men.  Her mom uses men up, and then discards them and that is what my daughter has been taught, and I fear will forever doom her to bad relationships...

Actually you have done your job! From your description she sounds as she is exactly where she should be
at her age. I learned male mannerism from my father. Watching him treat my step-mom lovingly and
not being a ass towards my mom ( they never married). There's not much more you need to do.
You have spent time with her and provided her with love and showed her what protection of a man feels like who isn't  
interested in you in a sexual way. That's a fathers job and definitely what I learned from mine.

While she is only 15, I sent this to her.  

Some of these "posters" leave a pile on the floor, and expect us not to realize when we have stepped in it.

With Pauly Shaw and Carla Cugino ? That was funny ! College ? Its the spring break crap that messes up the kids.  And other girls , all that co ed  shit !

you have already instilled your daughter with the values necessary for her to make her own sound judgments...I'd simply let her know that there is no problem to big or to private that she can not turn to you for help...and I'd let her mother handle the specifics on boys.

You're a freaking hobbyist dude, so don't project your open sexual desires onto someone you love, or you just might regret it. What would you think if you opened the door to your next provider and it was your daughter? How YOU feel about sex and cheating makes no difference in her life...it is HER LIFE, so let her know you love her, and that you care...that is all she needs to hear from a father who is a hobbyist. I would never tell my daughter I think being a whore is ok just because I happen to be doing it.

Posting about you daughters on fuck board seeking advise as to what to do.  

I guess we hobbyist are the dregs of society...now I feel like shit...London, you available this afternoon for some cheering up???  ROFLMAO

I did welcome this discussion from both my parents so I got Mom and Dad's POV.

Where else to find  unedited advice about sex and behavior than from a bunch of people , (ladies who sell it and guys who buy it). You can't get more real than this. And it is sex related.

Chickens ? Origional or Extra Crispy ! "Son in law" big guy

I hope I will be. Try the best I can . xoxoxo.

This is NOT about being or becoming a provider, this is about so much more than that.  Its not even about being a slut - and yes Virginia working as an escort does not mean you are a slut.

I especially liked how you left her the responsibility to make her own decisions, while encouraging her to make the right ones.

Pressure to be a woman , drinking , drug use , its ridiculous ! And very few role models for young girls !!!!!! Its bad . Every day on TV , kardasian , lohan , they sicken me !  

Tell her too "Live it up now" because there will be little left of an economy, society, or a livable climate in 20 years thanks to their unwavering avarice. Then after she is 20 years older the incoming generation(s) will look for an ice-flow for her and her peers to be put on and then set a-drift.  

However I would still make an attempt to instill traditional values .........realizing, of course, that they are now considered misogynistic. Sex belongs in marriage

Friends who went through the same thing as you . Its a bad situation . You know the deal , just do what you can . Hey , good luck .  

Its absolutely creepy.
Plus her sex life is none of your business
You seem way to interested in who's banging your kid.

Just yucky

I typically like many of your posts BSD, but this one induces a cluster headache. Sorry.

Thanks

Her sex life is none of his biz??
If he cares about her, it is!!
 

who do you think has to pick up the pieces?! Who?

I hate to tell you but she has had sexy many times with many different guys...  Get a clue dude.....I know it's your little girl but look at you on these boards....you want to get laid like any other straight guy.....She is and will do fine....write the letter of support to show you love and support her and let it go

I agree 100 %

can't be with someone that young, was approached by a 20 yr old stripper this past weekend (whaaaa, ya trailing me???) she was like glue, cause she wanted me to buy her drinks!!! that way she could drink, but as we talked, I found myself asking her if she would be interested in meeting my son...   as she is thinking of transfering to his University!!!   Just no end to Bizzaros bizzare world.

-- Modified on 8/20/2013 3:36:13 PM

I DO believe that what makes on a slut (or bastard as the case may be) is "Dishonesty, inflicting pain on another human with no reason, irresponsibility, and failure to keep one's word" - but know, I'm divorced - as such got no issues with seeing a prostitute, but to be honest, in looking back on my marriage, I empathize with those who do see escorts while in a horrible marriage.  don't condone it, just recognize that the potential exists for driving one to it - either male OR female.

Or something bothers you. U can access the phone records from your computer . Spy shop in NYC also has a lot of other fun shit u may want to purchase . If u got her a car , I'd also recommend the tracking device , fits right under the wheel well. And a small camera for her favorite stuffed animal . All girls got 1 if those . Time to let go ! That's what's bothering you. Its not her having sex . Its her not being around and the nest is getting empty ! Work on u and the Mrs. Plan for the later years . Take everyone out to dinner and have a nice time.  

"Reputation?" I didn't realize we were still in the 1950's...

um . . . your heart seems to be in the right place, but this strikes me as overstepping boundaries just a little. Heck, I'm a guy and I never discussed sex with my Dad before, during, or after college. It was never comfortable for me. It isn't possible for her Mother to have this talk with her?  

Oh shut up...no one said that lol. What we do is rarely the same things we want for our children, and having a dad basically tell me to go out and fk when I get the urge and that there is "nothing wrong with it" would have me questioning what type of drugs he was using. My father til this day would NEVER tell me that sex (paid or not) with guys I hardly know, is a good idea...especially college sex when you're fking a guy in the bathroom at some frat party, piss ass drunk.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...lol...

I hope your talking to the OP and not me?
I advice you hold your tongue, even if your replying to him.
Sex, many, many times, with many different guys....STFU....YOU are clueless.

Thank you!! Who comes to a fk board and asks for advice about sexual conversations with his kid? A hobbyist bwahahah. Geez! I have a 6 year old, and I would hope you people would shoot me dead if I come back in 12 years and ask about something like this. As if you give a fk what I talk to my daughter about.

you're wanting to offer-up some sage advice to your daughter as she heads-off to college.  

Damn, your right.

Nah, not all guys here want to hear about that bs over and over ad barf either. It might actually disturb some of these guys to have to think about THEIR daughters in that context...turn of tables if you will, which is why I made the comment regarding "what if his daughter was behind the door of his next appt." You see, we are all dirty whores, and there is just no possible way any man's daughter would ever be that filthy lol. I don't like to think about my daughter being a hooker, so I can imagine what a guy feels knowing what naughty things he pays us to do.

+1 , I wish some others and I'm NOT talking about London took more time to read what the guy wrote .  

That's where almost all of the nasty shit starts.  

There is the same mentality as outside. I can't agree with you more HWAHOTF.

"disturb some of the guys".....INDEED.
Your not a "dirty whore" no more than one of my girls would be, if they were providers.
Sure it's gonna hurt us (Dad's)....it's the way we are wired.
I wouldn't want to know about it....that's for sure.

I took it to mean he does not give a fk how many guys she sleeps with, as "Intimacy is good and should be enjoyed free from the stigma we put on it." That connotes having sex with whomever. I mean, hey...it's HIS child lol, so what do I care, but that would not be the advice I would give my child...ever. I would not tell her she should marry to have sex, but I would never suggest enjoying random sex with college guys "just because."

More kids than anything else ! The idea that kids will teach kids about life is bullshit ! You learn about life by living it and from those older , other peoples mistakes. Advice as one grows . And that applies to boys too. Idiots are coming out of colleges today , in many cases.  

your daughter has learned about the characteristics of being a slut  from her mother and grandmother.  

I think this is an especially important message for young women.  

Ok, go enjoy yourself. You're responsible for your happiness and your safety. If you choose to have sex or not to have sex exercise good judgement. She has probably experimented more than you care to admit but that is part of life. If she is a virgin, I would worry as that would be very socially backwards.  

Unless she is 18 and hot . If you two are doing mother daughter I'll pay $5000 now!

Off the blood to your brain ! I'm sure she "knows" about sex , the guy is letting go of Hus daughter , is it bad that he actually gives a shit ? Maybe if more guys and women cared about their kids bp wouldn't exist ! Now Hans or Franz whichever 1 u r college isn't a fuckfest for everyone . And 1950 wasn't so bad our country saw growth now its all fucked up . So maybe there is a bigger lessen for all to learn . Ur a funny guy .  

Ok, fine. If we want to call random sex with drunken frat boys "intimacy" well alright then. His OP just sounded like he was suggesting to his own daughter, that when she felt the urge to go for it, regardless of the consequences. I did NOT hear him say anything about pregnancy and STDs which we all know can be a result of so called "intimacy." Buy a puppy!

Me thinks you are on the WRONG site!!

We can talk about all sorts of reason America saw growth in the 50s.

And thank goodness you don't have to.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to bring this topic up here. This community is ostensibly an open-minded community when it comes to sexuality, so it would be logical to presume that he would get some good answers here- which I believe he has. He can sort through them and take what he likes with him and ignore the rest.

See your answer not bad , but you didn't respond to the"speedo" so we now know u have 1 lol.  And your 100% correct technology ,  
And you Know what , even more reason for him to worry . Look at that girl who just ran off with that older guy ? And the issues with fake friends on Facebook. Even more reason in many ways for more "family values" . Yeah its a fuck board , but talk to his "buddies" they probably whack off to her after pool parties ? So he came here , and you know what he got good responses even yours , probably helped him the most ! Y because now she will never end up on bp ! U did good . And I , me personally , love the 1950s , Vegas , showgirls , dean martin and jerry lewis ,  the copa  ? Before my time but I'd trade in a minute ! Hey have a good day.

He may even be like the dad , u know got the playboy for his son in the movie ! Hey bet u like Shannon Elizabeth ? Were her titties real ?  

I'll agree with you! How could you forget Frank Sinatra?

Isn't it ridiculous how we are treated in this country ? And the cops , there handing out "chips" cause now everyone us getting "stoned" ! U can't make this shit up.  And the list goes on , yeah sorry about Frank . That whole period in time "classic" ! Hey , enjoy your day.

Yea, it's about as creepy as having a client show me photos of his wife and kids whilst sitting there naked after he just shot a load in my mouth. Next...