I am 55 and have always loved older women.  Nobody told me when I was 35 and met my future wife, then a hot and horny 42 year old woman who had lived alone for 17 years, raising two sons, that when I turned 54 that she would be 61 and decidedly post-libidinous, and post most everything else as well.  I won't leave her because of reasons of comfort and economic stability.  

My only source of intimacy and sexuality is in the hobby.  Some providers feel I need to "get too deep" for their liking.  

I am interested in the perspective of those gents who have been through something similar.  Have you been able to stay in the marriage because of becoming satisfied with and by providers?  So far, my results have been mixed.  

So, all you guys who get anything at home......count your blessings.  Sex without love is just sex and sex with a glove just reminds you that it is just fantasy fulfillment.  It is not real life.

I am 26 yrs. older than the MRS. When we first married she used to tease me into action on the average 3 times a day. Now its settled into 3 times a week. She is still very happy to accomodate my desires during those times BUT I sure do miss waking up in someones mouth!

How often do the married, or people with SO's, GET SOME?

but I don't have a wife, or even an SO. lol

Or a little less, even.  Thus, the hobby.

We have two small children (4 & 2) and the youngest sleeps in our bed most nights.

The national average for married couples in the United States is 3 times a week -- so you are right there with the average.

If you want to spice things up, even if you aren't Jewish, I'd recommend the book Kosher Adultery. Muy cool.

It has been more than 12 years

Sadly, we have sex only once every few months.  I need it and she rarely does.  Otherwise, we get along fine.

Only when she wanted to have sex!
It was never often enough!!

I just turned 60.  My wife is ill and therefore we haven't had sex in a number of years.  I didn't want to become dormant so I started hobbying.  That has given me an incredibly fresh outlook.  There is no way I will leave my wife as I am still devoted to her, but she is not very aware of my existence.  My hobbying acitivities in no way jeopardizes her health or security.  I have a very strong "responsibility" gene that won't allow me to shirk my obligations to her.  Like iaprofdom  my only source of intimacy, sexuality and female companionship is through the hobby.  I admit I get attached to my ATF's, but I can control that as I understand the limits of our relationship.  Hobbying has great appeal to me.  I love being with young, vibrant women that still have a great lust for life.  I do more with them than just bcd, although that is my main activity.  I think without the interactions provided to me in hobbying I might become seriously depressed.

She may want to have sex two or three days in a row, but then nothing for a month or two. Not a BJ, not a HJ, just nothing.

3 times a week? I wish! She used to want it all the time, and I could barely keep up with her. Now she has almost no sex drive at all, and she's a lot more conservative than she used to be.

And the less I have sex with her the less desire I have to have sex with her. I don't even bother to ask anymore, and in between the couple of fucks we have each year I barely remember what it's like to have sex with my own wife.

But a totally different view of it. Sounds like you are looking at your wife and the providers, and dwelling on what they do not give you, rather than what they do give you.

If you really have not found romantic love, which absolutely does not have to include sex, with your wife, and are still looking for it, stop seeing providers and find someone that you can have a real, as opposed to fantasy, relationship with. Get a divorce and move on.

Good chance you will discover the issues were not with the relationship, the wife or the providers, but with you so they will not go away with another change of scenery, but maybe you have to figure that our for yourself. Me, I spent a fair amount of time with counselors, on my own and with my wife, trying to figure out what I wanted and how to pursue that. End result - I love my wife and have a comfortable, loving relationship, though we give each other a lot of space. And I have lots of fun in the fantasies these lovely,  talented ladies spin for and around me.

But I am not pretending it is all something other than what it is - in fact I find the complex reality of the hobby and my interactions with the providers - the blurred lines between reality and fantasy, the shifting boundaries and different rules - to be part of the fun. A really intricate kabuki, if you wish, or maybe an Escher print.

Maybe that only works because I am emotionally fulfilled with my wife, kids and friends? I love them, and they love me back. So what I want with the providers is to live out some fantasies I was unable to enjoy earlier in life and have wild, fulfilling sex. And that works just fine for me, even better than fine.

You know, hallway sex - walk by each other in the hallway she says "fuck you" and I say "fuck you to".... just joking, kinda.

But other than that it's about once a week on average lol.

We have young twins and sex is not high on her priority list....

I feel yer pain.  Same here.  Only when she wants it, and that's rarely.  I might get to have sex with her 3 or 4 times a year.

That's why I hobby.

If we can get some privacy from prying eyes she will go down on me in a heartbeat almost anywhere, even in a church once while the preacher was preaching on joys of chastity. We average about 3 to 5 times a week with her and she is away on the weekends (Friday  morning through Monday morning). Generally it is me turning her down not the other way around. I also get to see providers with her blessing and encouragement. She even joins me sometimes for the session. I am lucky and get all I can handle and then some.

Second time around for both of us...  It's has been this way since the first year ~1990.  
skb

What an eyeopener! I'm not alone - love my wife, children and grandchildren beyond words but needed more than once or twice a year. Hobby has provided that

once Mrs OSP reads both your, and his posts. lmao

Even I have enough sense to STFU on certain subjects. lol

JFK!!! I know the Lil' Mrs. is gonna send a lynch mob out for me for that fucking comment! lmao!!!