we ended up with the box frame falling off of the metal frame it was sitting on because we were bouncing so much.
No big deal until I walked by and caught my ankle on the sharp exposed metal edge.
I bled like a stuck pig and the area was sore and bruised for about a year.
I think TER or someone should give out purple hearts for wounded during action.
with new CFM heels on, a new set of lingerie....I fell my sexy sashaying ass right off the edge of the bed....with a nice thud!
He was a new client....and at first did not know what to do...I just stayed on the floor LAUGHING LIKE A CRAZY WOMAN.
Once while cleaning up after the festivities, I stood up in the bathroom, straight into a shelf. Tagged my forehead on the corner and bled like crazy. Ended up walking out with a wad of napkins pressed against my head, but I was still smiling. It is still funny when it comes up in the appropriate circle of (hobby) friends.
With another lady, I simply couldn't find her incall based on the directions. I wandered all over the place looking for the right building number. Eventually, she had to come out and flag me down. I hope I licked my way out of getting the bozo award.
I had one lady who had a butt-quake that must have measured at least a 6.5 on the rectum scale. And if that wasn't enough, she let go with a couple of 3.5 aftershocks.
ROLMA, thank you I needed that laugh. Dear God, I would have been crying from embarassment if that were me. I did a little one once after having a salad, I warned him not to mess with my booty, but he kept playing. That was bad enough, couldn't imagine errupting
sooner or later some gas is going to build up.
We just have to deal with it.
Maybe that's why gals always like to have lots of candles burning.
...get a better look and the contraction of my abs caused the flatus to escape. It was barely audible and she had to ask me if I broke wind. I fessed up and we got a good laugh out of it.
my moment was embarassing more for the gentleman than myself.
He was young and don't think that he had a lot of experience socially with women. We went into the bedroom, I put my purse in the floor next to his dresser; as I turned around, we was trying to attack kiss me, banging our heads together. After I recovered, I bend down to grab the jimmies out of my purse. At that point, he felt that it might be sexy to come up behind me and slam my butt with his pelvis. Now, this would not have been that bad, if I hadn't been totally bent over and been wearing 5 inch stilletos. So there I has, upside down stuck in a corner between his dresser and the wall.
THEN, after helping me stand up again, he turned out the lights, it was pitch black, couldn't see my hand in front of my face. So he "leads" me to the bed, which I found when I was caught mid calf with the boxspring and fell face first onto the matress.
Then, as he crawls up on the bed, he lays on top of my hair, which pulled my face into his pit. The rest was just as clumbsy, but the cherry was put on the sundae when he asked me, right in the middle of the appt. "am I the best you ever had?"
It was the hardest thing, not to get up and run out screaming. Nice guy, but will never go there again
the amazing thing is that he called me a few months later. I was happy to be able to tell him that I was booked for a week. Yes a few years back, we were that busy, lol.
I think he got it, I haven't heard from him in about 3 yrs
... as I am the epitome of self-grooming. Ok, maybe not, but I pay *very* close attention to it, but one time I had forgotten to check for nose hairs.
Yeah, one was hangin' out & sayin' hi to the world. Fortunately, the lady took some humor out of it and actually plucked it out for me.
We've been seeing each other now for 5 years nearly every week (twice a week). 
We were going at it at a very good pace, and broke her wooden bedframe rails.
The bed fell on the floor. Of course we did not stop, and she had to buy a new bedframe, etc.
...quite a ways back when the lady and I were doing the deed in missionary. Now this was hot and heavy, both of us really getting into it. Then all of a sudden I got simultaneous cramps in each of my hamstring muscles. These were no small cramps, but extrememly painful. I had to quickly jump off and do a combination of a kangaroo hop and duck waddle around the room until the pain subsided. For a couple of minutes there she thought I was freaken' nuts! Fortunately, after the pain had gone we had a good laugh about it.
other than the part where she sees me naked of course....
During a really hot anal session, I pulled it out and some poop popped out! 
Was with a 1 pop only provider and she stoped the bj to go to the bathroom so i took that time to wack off and came in my hand thinking i could get to pops in a slick way. She comes back picks off where she left off and i grab her hair and forgot what was in my hand very embarassed moment for me.
Only yesterday I was seeing a lady for the first time. After a drive in the Florida sun, I arrived at her motel room wearing my shades. I walked in to greet her and immediately tripped over her luggage.
So much for suave!
I was on my first meeting with a young lady who was staying in a motel. When she checked into her motel room, she found a very small puppy that someone had put in a plastic bag and thrown into the motel dumpster. She saved the puppy and asked if it was OK to keep it in the room with us.
The poor little puppy (a boxer) was so frightened he just huddled in the corner and of course, me trying to make a good impression said sure, no problem.
Well, we got into pretty good and I forgot all about the boxer. I had her laying on her back at the edge of the bed and I was down on my hands and knees on the floor DATYing her.
Suddenly, I got the surprise of my life. Tucked neatly behind me licking my ass and balls from behind was the puppy. Needless to say for a couple moments I got REAL excited! We both laughed so hard we almost cried with that one.
he still has the scar to prove it!
Damn stilettos!!!! LOL
Many times...
Getting a toot from her while pumping...
ATF's bed with a bad squeak.
Broke the cross slats under the box spring.
I when I was 16, I was kicked outta my double bed for my newly wed older sister. Before leaving, I safety pinned bells to the bottom of the bed. They were on the night table the next morning! Ha Ha Sis!!
got interested. He sniffed then licked her. He just kept going like a trouper and would not stop. She was loving it and the dog almost got her off. My friend and I just looked at each other in amazement. I hate being outdone by my dog.
i broke a bone during an al fresco picnic romp.
i overvigorously did a u-turn off a cervix and bruised myself rather badly, fortunately while there was a loud crack, surgery was not required.
one lady did have an allergic reaction to some food and produced an after dinner romp fanfare during daty.
and i regret none of it....
A bunch of us...hobbyists and providers...went out to another bar in NYC. Karaoke, shot pool, threw darts, did shots, had fun. The party broke up after a couple of hours...headed back to my hotel.
Before I got there, my ATF, who was at both parties. calls and tells me to come on over for some after after-party fun. Who am I to say no, LOL? I had enough $ for an hour of fun with her, but I should have known that she would have a friend with her. When I got to the door, two ladies were there, and clothes went flying as soon as the door closed. After a great hour of late night fun, it was time to get dressed, and leave the donation, except that I had only half of what I needed. I sheepishly had to tell them I needed to make a pit-stop to rectify that. I considered using the hotel ATM, but instead went down the block since it was after 3 am. While there, the second lady called to inquire why I wasn't back within 5 mins., just use the hotel ATM! Suffice to say that when I did get back, and took care of donations plus gratuities, they were both happy. Plus that, there was still half a wine bottle to be killed, and two ladies to share it with!
Moral of story...always have twice what you think you need in $...you never know!
once I had a guy who was rather large. Not his dick, he was about 400 lbs. He was laying down on one side of the bed, I was on my knees trying to come up with a game plan (2 big people can be tricky). All of a sudden, I believe he was attempting to pull me on top of him, but he succeeded on flinging me across the room.
I was with a cute MILF when I actually did have a nose bleed... I grabbed some tissues hoping to get it stopped but it took a while. At least it did not get all over her bedspread. When I returned she was dressed & it was over...
Nope, I never called her again...
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