Not necessarily in terms of length but more about the way it was written. Even our thesaurus friend Duplicitous can learn a thing or two from this guy.
And looking at her web site.. perhaps there is a real reason for the inspiration
-- Modified on 3/26/2014 5:36:18 AM
The review is so poorly written I could only get two lines into it before Conan discovered so many errors in spelling and grammar (the guy clearly has no idea what tense means) I would not subject myself to any more abuse.
When I saw how BIG the review was... I'm like... what the fuck? How many hours did this guy take to write that drivel up?
To what end was he trying to prove with all of that bullshit?
Yea, I checked out that lady's website, sure she's great looking, but come on a short story for a review? I'll pass!! I'll stick with the other reviews that are more to the point.
The Forest Waits
That's the first thing I noticed!
Do you consider yourself more an asian or a caucasian, or right in the middle?
A lot of my friends seem to refer to my half half friends as asian guy or asian girl. They hardly recognize the caucasian part at least in terms of when describing to other friends. Do you see this happening too?
It's also evident in TER reviews, your profile says asian while the caucasian part is completely tossed out the window. I'm starting to think maybe this implies that Americans consider themselves insignificant compared to asians cuz they keep forgetting their own half. Lmao
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Americans all consider me Asian, while actual Asians consider me American. Since I know more Americans than Asians, I just go along with the flow and call myself Asian.
Being born and raised here with mainly white/black/brown people as my peer group, I personally consider myself American, but my slanted eyes are tough to discount. Since there is very little remaining racism towards most Asians today, unlike the days of my youth where I was constantly forced to either eat shit or take on guys with 75 lbs of body weight on me, or sometimes several. I really don't spend much time today thinking about it.
I think if you start looking for it you will find it's your American friends that will refer to us "breeds" as Asian, while very few actual Asian people will do so.
I got about as far as you did, after a couple of sentences my head hurt and I saw no benefit to subjecting myself to any more abuse either.
Angel's posts, or even blablablue's are easier to follow.
I met natasha a while ago. Gorgeous girl. I never wrote a review though.
Maybe next time I see her I'll write one but I need some coaching from Doopy and BM on novel writing and use of thesaurus. lol
I clicked through to see Natasha's pretty pictures instead. No more headache! ![]()
And in this case, that is so true!!!!
NAtasha is amaaaaaaazing. Her rates not so much lol
It was actually interesting how he spelled out the experience using imagery. Definitely not 5th grade writing!
Reminds me of the movie I attached!
Three giant blocks of text just gives me a headache.
You're right, it's not 5th grade writing. Most 5th graders have learned how to use a paragraph break by that age. How did you even manage to read the whole thing? To be "descriptive" it has to be written so that the average person can actually get further than a couple of sentences before concluding that whatever is at the end of the story isn't worth the painful journey required to get there.
The punctuation didn't help lol
That would be one possible explanation as to how you were able to subject yourself to such punishment for no real reward.
As for me, I never even got far enough to notice the punctuation. The only thing he could have done to create a bigger headache would have been to type it in all Caps.
Lol nice. Good interpretation of the action lol
... all I see is a cement block.
Im interested in knowing how you stumbled across it. And like the others, way to long to read, and when I saw only one paragraph break, as I scrolled down the review, I quickly hit the back button.
BTW, if you want to read interesting reviews try pauliewalnuts, another LA hobbyist. Remember it's, LA and screenwriters do hobby.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/reviews/showReview.asp?Review=860463
...but after 156 reviews, he still writes the same way.
For the following line:
"She took my shaft deep in mouth and licked it with her poultry lips."
"Poultry lips?" I guess he meant "pouty," but still.....It conjured up this image...
He gave it a quick scan and his eye just happened to fall on the "poultry lips." Satan only knows what other gems still lurk there, undiscovered.
"She took my shaft deep in mouth and licked it with her poultry lips."
"Poultry lips?" I guess he meant "pouty," but still.....It conjured up this image....