Perhaps I am old fashioned or, as some have alleged, a chauvinist, but several of the "accepted norm" practices in the hobby today leave me wistful for the past.  A bit of background first;

From the mid 80's to the mid 90's, while I was focused on building a business, finding a great provider in a visiting city was a matter of networking with the right guys.  A friend referred you to a lady he knew and a date was set up.  I had 2 regular ladies that I thought of as mistresses.  I never paid them for our time together, but treated them to gifts as any thoughtful suitor should.   I was very busy and had trouble selecting the right gift.  Fortunately they understood my position and generally agreed to forgive me for leaving cash and leaving them to select what they wanted.   I would see each of them once a week and it was just enough spice to keep the home fires interesting as well.

I admit that I have aged and am no longer have such an urgent need of sex, but with the relaxation and slow down in pace, one tends to truly savor the full essence and of a woman.  The experience is fuller and more poignant if not as sharp and purely lustful.

What concerns me is that providers seem to want to know a lot more about a man now.  I really understand that their interest and concern but I am less willing to be indiscreet these days, as I have much more to protect.  I don’t see a lot of providers for this reason, maybe 6 in the last 2 years.  1 lady I contacted, but never saw, even sends me unsolicited email. That is NOT an indication of her discretion.  

A pro is still the best way to go as far as I am concerned.  I had 2 “affairs” in the past 20 years and while they were very exciting they both ended badly and the last one almost wrecked my marriage.  Have a talk some day with your attorney about how much that cost!

So, how does one assure discretion and still make sure the lady is comfortable in today’s environment?

Networking with the right guys ... is what TER is all about.  It's simply moving the network group to a more convenient process.  We get to know each other through our posts, understand who we "fit in" with, and take those posts and reviews to heart.

We're still busy, and I'm probably not a great little shopper either.  So you leave $$$ there and hope she finds something nice for herself.

Alas, the issue of personal safety and discretion.  How to balance?  I'd go with well reviewed TER ladies, and provide a nice referral source.  Everything will be jake then.  Good luck.

-- Modified on 6/24/2003 5:20:56 PM

you have 3 reviews at 3 or worse.  Were those previous reviewed girls and if so, why the difference between the reviews and what you thought?

It's how I learned (the hard way!!) to make sure that I only met with well reviewed ladies!

If you have a cancellation or poor planning, you get more adventurous, looking at Eros or others for ladies who look interesting but are not well reviewed.  About 80% of the time ... you get burned.

Hence the advice to the group.  Look for people who are well reviewed.  When I fail to follow this advice, I can demonstrate the rather sorry results.

Yup! It's a double edged sword. You want to know something about them to protect your ass, they want to know about you to protect theirs.
  Just like the "good o'l days" it's going to require a bit of networking(thats where the value of TER, the reviews, these boards & Private Mail come in).
  From personal experience and "Karma" I have found that once you find a GOOD provider 'nurture' that relationship and more will follow. With luck and time you will probably meet several ladies that not only will take great care of you but also refer other great ladies your way.

  Good luck.
    YKSY.

First, I think the others are correct. This does seem to be a great place to help each other. This forum has a full spectrum of guys, with varying tastes, perspectives, and finances. I've started using it.

Second, I'd like to use it now. I have a "guys weekend" coming up in Sept., in Vegas. I was thinking about using "Mona Lisa Models" in NY, and flying a girl out. I've read some reviews on the girls, but many have none. Some who do, only have a couple. You all really don't mind if a newbie like me personal mailed you about a specific girl? Another question, do any of you here have personal experience with Mona Lisa?

I'm with you on a lot of this, Pete. Those of us who've been around a few decades and have seen life change so radically and in such a short time span - can feel your head whirling and just want to get off the merry-go-round! I like to joke about having my life slow down enough to actually sit on the porch and watch the grass grow! Just take the cell phones, PDA's, laptops, pagers and everything else that keeps me plugged it and wired to the rest of the world and throw it in the trash!
Anybody remember that Corona beer commercial and all you see are bare feet, and the ocean in the background? Ya know the one I'm talkin' about? Every time I saw that commercial, my head would just 'deflate'(ahhhhhhh) with the calm it would give me..silly..
But, anyway..
That's where I'd like to be, eventually, with Sedona..no website, no nothing..somebody wants to see me, they know somebody who knows how to contact me, and if I have their 'word' then he's 'in'. But, Pete, I don't know if you realize, but about 75-80% of my emails and phone calls, are, I believe, LE. When we ladies do our screening process, we have one goal in mind: to be able to prove 100% who you ARE, and 100% who you are NOT. Pretend you are in some dream, like I don't know, the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" and you are attempting to prove who you are; pretend you've been arrested because they are certain you are someone else, and you must prove that they've made a mistake, you are really Pete Smith..what would you do? Then, as far as Providers go, they now have proof that you are indeed Pete Smith, but is Pete Smith a cop? Now, we have to prove that you aren't, so how do we go about that? Ok, now we know you are Pete Smith, and you're VP of Ops at XX Corp. and are NOT a cop, how do we know you are a gentleman, and a 'good guy'? References...from the ladies..seeing your reviews and posts on TER, etc..
Pete, it's the same as it's always been, but the circumstances have changed.
I don't know what area you live in or Hobby in..but here in SD, we at least have the Naughty Escort girls (not an agency) and they are just a group of ladies that you can be assured are not rip - offs, are well reviewed, and who (should) at least provide good service (referring also to good customer service).
I agree with the guys that if you network with the other gents who've sort of done the 'homework' already, you can go on their recommendations, as well as use the great tools TER has to help you find what you want!
In the meantime, should you ever come out to San Diego, I have some lovely recommendations for you!

Hope this was helpful. Take care.

Sedona

I see your point of seaching for well reviewed providers.  However, as a new provider, this becomes a catch-22.  I'm having a hard time obtaining reviews by hobbyist.  I see mostly the occasional users, mostly don't post reviews.  I currently have three but I'd like more.

I was thinking of offering a special price in exchange for a candid review.  I don't want it to come across as a bribe??

Any suggestions?