Ok, please don't give me the response, "No, we're not but you are!"  

But seriously, this is a sensitive question and I would really like to hear some HONEST answers on this from both the providers and their clients.

I'm not married and I'll start by saying that every once in awhile, I ask myself, "What in the hell am I doing?  Why do I have to stoop so low that I have to pay for what I should be able to get through a normal relationship? Other guys are getting this without having to pay for it.  Why can't I?", as self doubt really comes creeping in.  I usually get over it, but these thoughts really cross my mind every once in awhile. Does it happen to you?  Now if I was in a committed relationship, then the whole ethical issue raises it's ugly head on top of the feelings of self doubt, which is a double whammy.

And don't we hobbyists ask ourselves every once in awhile, "These providers must think that we are just a bunch of losers." ?

Now I don't know how many of you will really admit to this, let alone the providers admitting to how they REALLY feel about us......but I just had to ask the question......

This could be another neverending thread, but it could prove interesting........

According to society in general, our behavior is alledgedly unsatisfactory.  

Gore Vidal, the great author, once commented that is was strange that humanity is one of the very few monogamous species on Earth. And even more curious is that it is not by nature but by religion and law, forced on the general population by a handful of men.  I agree.  I believe that this hobby stems from this abnormal restraint on human behavior.

I suppose we all have our reasons for being here.  And as far as I'm concerned any reason is legitimate.  I think that the providers out there that are in to this profession simply for the money they can earn may, from time to time, feel that we are losers.  The key is not to give a f*ck about it, and simply enjoy yourself, which is what you spend the $$$ on to begin with.  And if you can, find those providers who are more caring, don't believe we are losers, and go that extra mile to make us feel good.

I was told by a lady that people who participate on these boards were "lonely, pathetics, losers." I too have had some of the same thoughts as you, and have scaled back my efforts significantly in the past few months. There's something extremely sobering to be told by someone you respect in a roundabout way that she thinks you're a loser. I'm currently searching for something more meaningful in regards to a relationship, but I still check these boards out occasionally.

Do the women think we are losers? Do we think the women are losers? Does it really matter?

You can not read these boards without noting the fact that most (and I said MOST) posts are penned by intelligent, thoughtful people. Intelligent, thoughtful people that have the discretionary income to participate in this hobby are probably far from “losers”. The reasons for their participation are varied but I doubt that “I can’t get laid” is the number one reason.

I am not a man that most women flock to. Even so, I have turned down advances from several very attractive women. My reason is very clear cut. I am not monogamous but as a married man, I refuse to risk everything for an affair that would most likely destroy everything I have. You can flame away at my hypocrisy but I do love my wife even though our sex life sucks. I choose to keep our relationship in tact and seeing providers helps me stay married. Is it ideal? A resounding NO! Is it what I have chosen? I guess so.

So, I guess that there are tons of “losers” in the hobby. I also suspect that some of the most powerful and intelligent men out there are probably calling their favorite provider at this very moment!

is to really give a rats ass what anyone else thinks, unless of course they are someone you truly care for and respect.

I have know gents from all ends of the spectrum. Their reasons for hobbying vary far and wide. I know one in particular that has such a busy life that it is much easier for him to hobby than date. He understands the business aspect and never crosses that line but he has made some great friends. A couple of gents are widowed or divorced and those processes were painful. And some at the age they are at now, it is much easier and more gratifying to visit a lady for some time and explore some pleasure, then to try and navigate the dating world. You are not stooping to satisfy yourself, taking the path of least resistance maybe...but that is human nature. We have all done it in some form or another.

Do not let what any provider thinks deter you from what brings you pleasure. If she thinks you are a loser for hobbying, then what is She for selling you her time? It is a sharp double edged sword. A grand portion of providers are in it for the money, I was and I truly enjoyed myself. And the gents are in it for the gratification on alot of levels. Does this make us losers? Nope, it makes us human. This industry has exsisted for as long as mankind has been able to buy and sell any commodity for money.

The losers in this industry are those who seek to decieve and hurt. Those providers who are not honest and make it a point to hurt others for their own gain. They are the Hobbiests who take advantage of the underground nature of this business and seek someone out only to not compensate them, worm their ways into someones life uninvited and take full advantage if the sensitive nature of these "relationships". But honestly you will find those kinds of people in All walks of life, not just here. It seems harder here because of the sensitive nature of our activities and it's secrecy.

You must do what you feel makes you happy as long as no one gets hurt. Learn and grow from your experiences here and use them to enhance your life, but be careful not to let it overtake your exsistance. And be dammed what other people think. You are the only one who has to stare at your face in the mirror every morning.


regards,
Lass



-- Modified on 5/15/2003 1:47:05 PM

I don't mean to sound smug, but maybe you should rethink who you choose to respect.

As for me, I seek respect more selectively.  I hope that people around me think I'm a good guy with good motives.  I hope people I work with think I'm a good leader, a fair boss, etc.  I hope my neighbor thinks I'm a good citizen.  But you know what?  I don't care what any of these people think about my religion or my politics or my sexual behavior.  I'm always eager to discuss or debate, but if they've already judged my view as morally inferior to theirs, what's the basis for the relationship?

I'll certainly alter my behavior in each of the roles I just described in the context of that role--but I will never alter my core values, or question who I am for the sake of being accepted by someone I respect.  That creates a hollow relationship in which you're respected for compliance with their beliefs, not for being who you are.  I choose not to respect the opinions of those who life experiences can only be validated by influencing me to behave the same way.

My point is that if having a wonderful, stunning woman friskily bathe my "li'l buddies" with attention makes me pathetic, count me in.  If gaining the approval of others who don't see me as a sovereign being, entitled to pursue my own destiny, is the pathway out of pathos, then count me out.

"Intelligent, thoughtful people that have the discretionary income to participate in this hobby are probably far from losers". "some of the most powerful and intelligent men out there are probably calling their favorite provider at this very moment!"
--OCSIR

Because someone is powerful, intelligent, and has descretionary income doesn't protect them from feeling that they might be losers in building a stable, faithful relationship, or losers in being able to please a woman without having to hire a provider and get lost in a paid fantasy.

"Do the women think we are losers? Do we think the women are losers? "

Interesting questions to explore, but I also pose a different question that has even more impact.  Do we think of OURSELVES as losers because of what we do in this hobby?? I know I have at times, and I'm sure that many providers go to sleep in an empty bed with a tear in her eye........And I'm sure that we go thru all of the protective rationales to make us feel better about all this.  

Why am I even bringing this up?  Because I have been plagued by these feelings myself lately, and would like some input from you guys.  Plus I think it's psycholgically healthy to confront these issues every once in awhile, if it's for nothing more than putting things back into the correct perspective.

Plus, it makes for interesting dialogue, don't ya think???  Painful at times, but interesting none the less......

I have enjoyed reading the posts on this subject and wanted to weigh in.

As many of you mentioned, the reasons for both hobbyists and providers to engage in each other's company are many.

Speaking only for myself, I enjoyed hobbying before and after I was married.  Since I have been divorced (a year) I have had the opportunity to date several ladies, one of wich was very aggressive and kinky.  That relationship was ended after she became "attached."  At this point, I really don't want a relationship (in the traditional sense).  I would rather spend some time with different ladies that find interesting, intelligent and sexy.  I have many several wonderful ladies.  

Do you get what you pay for?  Absolutely.  But no "no strings attached" element is important.

From one of the CLASS providers in this business.  I completely agree with you Lass!

OUCH!

These very questions have been weighing heavily on my mind recently.  

I believe that my activities involving this "hobby" do not occupy the "highest ground" of moral recitude.  I'll admit that I wish that I had a great relationship with my wife, which I unfortunately do not - at either the sexual or intellectual level.  I'll admit that I wish that I could show greater integrity and not compromise my belief that in a monogomous relationship with a life partner, resides the highest potential for personal happiness.  I'll admit that but for the harm I feel I'd do to my wife and children, I would not find myself in this compromised position.  But do those beliefs lower me to the level of "looser"?

You know, perspective is an interesting thing.  Its easy for someone who hasn't "walked a mile in your shoes" to make comments without informed insight.  Its easy to catagorize people, its human nature and a way of simplifying things.  All things are not simple.  Its easy to improve one's self image at the price of someone else's.  And that is why only you can decide if you fit that bill.  

But in deciding whether you do or do not, remember the yardstick that you use in measuring yourself should not be defined by others.  How others classify people should not impact the way you see yourself.  The limited insight another has toward a profession or industry cannot address your pain or your needs.  You are the final arbiter.  Make your determination and follow the path that it leads you down, knowing that the decision was informed and well considered.

I've made my determination, and I'll have to live with it and its consequences.  I wish I had done better in my life, but who hasn't.  We're all merely mortal.

LB

Many of us are paying to be deceived.  Isn't there something inherently wrong with that??

It's one thing to be deceived and not know it.  It's quite another that we no only search to be deceived, but pay for it as well.

Ok, we do that when we go to the movies, we do that when we go to a play.  Maybe there is no difference here.  Maybe there is nothing wrong with this.

I'm beginning to feel much better now...........(I think...)

-- Modified on 5/15/2003 4:00:01 PM

-- Modified on 5/15/2003 4:03:35 PM

Are you asking if “winners” (whoever the hell they are!) sometimes see themselves as “losers” because they see providers? If so, I would respond that EVERYONE has self doubts that spring up from time to time. I am also sure that paying for sex can produce some of those nagging doubts. I can only tell you that I have much bigger confidence problems than those produced by the hobby. These “confidence” issues come and go and it helps to share these feelings with someone else. I quickly get over it...and race right back to my favorite girls. Don’t be dragged down by the fact that you enjoy the whole “provider experience”.

When you book that appointment are you actually saying to yourself..."Hmm...$300 an hour to decieve me....Yep THATS the ticket".

This is fantasy, not reality. Your right, we escape to the movies...within the pages of our favorite novels...cruising the net and going into chatrooms and pretending to be someone we are not. It is all deception on one level or another. But I do not actually think we do this because we WANT to be decieved but because we want an escape from our reality for a short time IN a place that provides us pleasure and comfort and acceptence.

There really is nothing wrong with this.....the only time it should become a problem is when it affects your ability to function on a day to day basis.


xoxo
L

choice.  Picking up women takes time and effort.

The courting and entering a relationship can be fun and rewarding.  However, those activities create tangles which are not easy to extricate.

Many hobbyists have relationships or otherwise married.  They choose this hobby to fulfil their lust for beautiful women and no hold bar sex (with safe sex practice).

Even an above average looking and successful guy won't be able to pick and choose that many beautiful women who are willing to fulfill their fantasy or offer services such as BBBJTC or Greek for as many times as he wanted.

Oh Sh*t,
Stop being so introspective and self-flagellating.  If you don't enjoy it, don't do it.

Right to the point, welthyman! If it makes you feel like a loser, DON"T DO IT!

-- Modified on 5/15/2003 4:58:11 PM

the hobbyist that think its ok to hurt, degrade, and rip off providers.  For those of you who don't fall into these categories you are gentleman who either enjoy the company of woman with no strings attached, like to explore sexuality with a provider who has no boundaries, are too busy to maintain a meaningful relationship at this time, have a sucky sex life with you SO or you just can't get the same type of girls that you can buy (please remember this doesn't mean just pretty were talking personality wise and that doesn't make you a looser because it happens to all of us just some more than others).  To me a person can do whatever they want and I wouldn't consider it wrong just as long as they aren't hurting someone physically, mentally and/or emotionally.


PS: Iwein nice to see you stirring the pot again...can I lick the spoon? hehe

"When you book that appointment are you actually saying to yourself..."Hmm...$300 an hour to decieve me....Yep THATS the ticket"."

Yeah, I've actually done that, as sick as that may be.  That's one of the reasons I started this thread.

But as I was typing this movie and play analogy, a light bulb went off.  You are absolutly correct.  It really is nothing more but a temporary escape into a fantasy that we would not normally be able to experience.  

Like I said earlier, it's a just a matter of putting it in the right perspective..........It's a rationale, that for now, works for me....

Thanks for the input, Lass (and others)

Larry

I'm ok with this now (read post titled "Lass").

The problem what that I DID like it and it DID make me feel good.  Just had those weird "loser" feelings crop in every once in awhile.  Things aren't just black and white. There are a lot of grays here.  

Anyway.....it's all good.......

"Iwein nice to see you stirring the pot again...can I lick the spoon?"

Absolutly!!

::::taking the spoon out of the pot reeeeeeal slooooowly to make sure that there is something left on the spoon for Angela...........::::

Ooooops....something  left on your lower lip.  Let me get that for you, Angela,  but whatever you do, DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES.............

Larry

-- Modified on 5/15/2003 5:22:44 PM

Why would you call being pragmatic being a loser?.
Sex drives just about everything in our society. If I can have a source like TER to aid in my hobby of enjoying no holes barred sex with gorgeous Providers and avoid having to know & pay for what to wear, who to know, what to drive, where to live and where to be seen just to find and meet stuck up, prudish, sexually inhibited woman than I'M A WINNER!

  Thanks to this hobby and TER I've been having the sex life of "James Bond" rather than that of "Doby Gillis". The last time I checked 007 was still a winner

 

-- Modified on 5/15/2003 10:29:21 PM

If "most" of the contributors to TER are intelligent as you claim, then why is it that most of the reviews which are submitted have truly horrendous spelling, grammatical or syntax problems. If someone has difficulty properly communicating, I personally would be most hesitant to call that person intelligent. I guess however it is fairly obvious, at least in this particular venue, that one's definition of intelligent can be interpreted with a rather wide variance.

As far as having discretionary income. Again, many reviews make reference (in a negative fashion) to the high price the lady asks for her time. Or, there are a number of comments that say something to the effect of, the next time I am able to get enough cash together I will return. There are enough such references to money (or the lack thereof) that could lead one to think that the availability of funds could be an issue with many clients. Obviously, some people have different perspectives.

As far as being losers. I am not particularly fond of that term and don't think everyone falls under this categorization. However, after reading many messages and reviews, I do believe there are several people (men and women) that appear to be immature and somewhat socially stunted. Please appreciate, I make no value judgement as to whether this is good or bad.

Second guessing is for those who can't deal with their choices.

HPG

To me, a loser is someone who doesn't have something they enjoy doing.  No one's life is perfect, but if you get enjoyment from something, it doesn't matter if you're the only one who likes it.  When these "am I a loser because I hobby?" thoughts come to mind, it's useful to remember that a lot more guys hobby (or would like to) than will ever admit to it, or that you would ever suspect.  And plenty of the guys who don't hobby have sex lives I wouldn't wish on Osama bin Laden (well, maybe HIM...)

Just be you and make sure that the home front is straight,  it's not what you do it's how you do it!!!

Indigo



-- Modified on 5/16/2003 1:27:07 AM

Hey,

Osama bin Laden pays dearly for his sheep.

My post refers to people who POST ON THESE BOARDS. I also place little value on most reviews because of the unbelievable writing styles. The contributors to these boards show a tad more panache. And no matter what you say, $200 to $400 per hour is a slightly expensive pastime. (Even with the bitching)

I was simply trying to point out that there are a lot of hobbyists that would not be considered “losers” by the general population. Iwien’s later posts made me realize what he was truly trying to say. I’m sorry that the hobby makes him feel like a loser but there seems to be an easy fix: Don’t see any more providers. I know, not black and white, gray areas, Blah, blah, blah.

We all want to avoid making statements that leave little room for the differences among us. We all have to deal with our demons. And whether you like it or not, your comment about people being immature and socially stunted IS a value judgment.  TER, like the general public, contains a wide range of people.

My take on it, perhaps cynical but here it is:  with perhaps the rare exception of guys lucky enough to have a lady all to themselves who (a) loves sex and (b) loves the guy enough to let him partake freely -- with that rare exception -- there's no such thing as a free lunch.  So one guy dates a girl, spends a ton on a fancy dinner, and whatever other entertainment, and hopes against hope to get laid, and maybe every now and then does; another guy gets married, finds out that the wedding cake cures his wife of her up-to-the-nuptuals lust for him; another guy puts the Ben Franklins on the dresser at a provider's trick pad.  So what the fuck is the moral distinction?  They're all just working it differently.  You know who's got the last laugh?  Gay guys, 'cause they fuck each other for free, and no bullshit.

I can spin the economic theories with more erudition than that, but I'm sure you get the idea.

"An intellectual is someone who has discovered something more interesting than sex" -- Aldous Huxley

"I can understand companionship. I can understand bought sex in the afternoon. I cannot understand the love affair" -- Gore Vidal

and then there is

"Sex is the biggest nothing of all time" -- Andy Warhol

I totally agree and don't feel at all like a loser!
A matter of fact even more Happy and positive since I have met so many nice wonderful providers!!

Lass,

You hit the nail on the head!

We are all going to be dead for a very long time, so let's enjoy life while we can and follow the golden rule!

I've always assumed that the reviews with poor grammar and syntax were bogus posts by LE, who presumably wouldn't know Strunk & White from a foul ball.

it's clear that society has imposed monogomy on us.  Ten thousand years ago, the average life span was about thirty-five.  One in twenty children survived to the age of sexual maturity -- about twelve years old.  If we assume an average woman can produce one offspring per year, that's about 23 children, only about one of which will survive to adulthood.  If a man mates with this woman exclusively, the mated pair will produce only one viable offspring, effectively reducing the species by half.  In a short while, humanity would have been extinct.  On the other hand, if the a man mates with as many women as possible, he can impregate hundreds.  Moreover, as men compete to inject their sperm into women, the most fit will preferentially succeed most often, thereby passing on the strongest genes to the most offspring.

This drive persists today, even though social laws prohibit multiple mates in most western societies.  These laws are unnatural, resulting in affairs, divorces, and even murder.  A far more elegent answer is to mate with willing women who impose no requirements typical of a long-term relationship.  This allows men to vent their need to mate with multiple women, and still preserve their families.

To illustrate, remember what the oldest profession is...It's carpentry.  After all, Eve made Adam's banana stand.

I see a few providers socially on occasion.  One of them asked me why I seem to have such a prediliction for providers.  It took me a while to figure it out, but I think this is the answer:  In a relationship with a civilian, a lot of effort and time is put into negotiating the terms for sex.  We've all done the dance: what should I say?; how will she react?; will he like this dress?; does it make me look cheap, but not too cheap?  It's hard work.  But, with a provider, the sex is negotiated up front.  It's a non-issue.  No effort is required.  We both know how the night will end.  This allows both partners to invest all their effort and time into learning about each other, without regard to what avenue will best lead to sex.  A viable, meaningful relationship can be built on such a foundation.  I don't know.  Maybe I'm just nuts.

Yup.......you're nuts!!!



::I just couldn't resist::

-- Modified on 5/16/2003 12:23:24 AM

Otherwise the only thing that could make me feel better than hobbying would be winning Lotto.  
      I think I see a pattern here!

Now see you are coming from a place where paying for companionship is something pathetic done only by men who "have to" and cannot get it any other way.

I'm coming from a place where I see many attractive, successful men... some married, some not (including a 21 year old hottie college frat boy I see... yes indeed!), who make the choice to come see me.

So what is it exactly that I get paid for? Do I get paid to worship LOSERS??? Ummm... no... and honestly that kind of attitude is a major turn off for me so I wouldn't be very good at it. I'm no actress.

I get paid because I love it. Because I love to please. Because I looooooooooooooove making men shiver and shudder and shake, I just LOOOOOVE it. Really. I also get paid because I am NOT going to ask you to pay my bills, marry me, bear me children, or buy me a bigger ring. I won't ask if my butt looks fat in these jeans. (It does, I know it, 'cuz I have a phat butt! Hehe! I mean good phat!)  I am not going to cry on your shoulder when I'm PMSing, will never interrupt you in the middle of the game, and won't ask if you'll call me in the morning. I get paid because after our fun together, I leave!

Many of the gents I see can get companionship on their own with no help from anyone. In fact, to be frank, no matter what I truly think that almost ANYONE can, no matter what they look like. (It's not all about looks.) This is a CHOICE based on convenience, pleasure and fun... and if there's anything wrong with that I surely cannot see it!

Hugs*
Nicole

Thanks.  Nice Guy.  Go be nice to some people. (grin)

Celtic Lass and Spectator pretty much put it in a nutshell, but I would like to add that there is truth to the belief that we are paid to go away.

I think if you feel like a loser doing this, then the answer is pretty much staring you in the face and you shouldn't be doing this.  

I don't think at all that I or anyone else in this forum is a loser just for the sheer fact of participating within this community.  I believe that we are all free spirits that do not conform to mainstream societies puritanical views of what human sexual behavior should be.  In fact I think many in mainstream society can be given the label of losers for letting religious zealots dictate how they should live their life.

The restraints, especially here in the good old U.S. of A, is in my belief part of the problems that society at large faces.  Divorce rates, extra marital affairs, rape, molestation, I could go on.  Not to say that the U.S. is the only country with these problems, but do believe that it is more prevalent here than in other countries in which societies views of human sexual behavior is a bit more open.

Yes, we need to tread with great caution because of mainstreams views, but that does not make me ashamed of what I do, nor should it for anyone that comes to visit with me.  Hell, my mother knows and is quite fine with it.

Lauren

"In fact I think many in mainstream society can be given the label of losers for letting religious zealots dictate how they should live their life. "

Great statement.  A real eye-brow raiser and head nodder...........!!!!


Larry

myself to be pretty much in agreement with your overall assessment. You and I may have a slightly different interpretation of the percentage of the contributors to this site that appear to be intelligent(you think most, I think a few), but your basic message does have some commonality with my viewpoint. I also agree with you that the reason for participating in this business(both men and women)our derived from many mixed motivations. The inducement to participate for some is probably fairly complex, while most do it for the most basic and simple reasons. Although you give more credence to the intelligence of this particular community than I do, I think there are more hypocrites(myself included) than you may think. Nobody should really be flaming you.

The only point I totally disagree with you is that I did not make a value judgement. I think I arrived at a reasonable assumption based on years of observation to this site, reading messages and reviews. Along with immature and socially stunted you probably could easily link naive to that as well. It could be an age thing, but I don't really like to stereotype, as there are a few highly sophisticated 20 or 30 somethings.

I also do agree with you that TER is probably a microcosm of the general population. And within this vast general population we all(yes all) make mistakes, but do you ever think about how many of these people make the same mistake twice.

A session with a provider is what it is.  It is only the fantasy, delusions or emotional neediness that a guy takes with him that makes it something more than it is supposed to be, or can be.

Learn to enjoy the moment, focus on the pure pleasure of being with a beautiful and willing woman.  Soak in every ounce of her scent, touch or smooth skin and learn to enjoy every minute of your time together.  If that occupies your thoughts, you'll soon forget about all of the self-torturing and self-doubting.  

She knows why she is there, it's important that you do too.  If you adopt that attitude, it's unlikely too many ladies will think of you as a loser- and a few may start to look forward to your next visit.

(grin) Of course, no one listens to me.  Oh, nooooooo.  Now if I looked like NICOLE, well that would be a different story now, wouldn't it?  You guys would be all ears.  Sure.  

Twelve years of school.  For what?  Bones and rocks.  (grin)

I can easily trump the above intellectual fly-weights with the greatest writer of all time. As Shakespeare wrote in MacBeth, "...When the hurly-burly's done, when the battles lost and won..."

Now although this could simply mean that a battle has well-defined winners and losers, this is afterall Shakespeare, and he sure knew how to infuse meaning into his phrases. I choose it to mean that any worthwhile enterprise will have its pluses and minuses or, alternatively, winning and losing aspects. If you line up all of human endeavors on one side, and making love to beautiful women on the other, the latter probably beats many of the former.

I believe I had something profound and intellectual to say on this matter, but then I saw Nicole's picture and I was instantly reduced to a babbling, incoherent buffoon. *drool*

Loser?  Perhaps... but when I'm in the presence of these absolutely lovely women, I feel like anything but.

M.

I ask myself that question all the time. I know I must be a real loser because I am a man and am scared shitless of women so I never date.  I'm even too scared to visit a provider because of all the potential repurcussions (disease, LE,): I would hate to get busted and have it ruin my good job, or have my associates or siblings hear about it. I have no real friends. Instead I sit around at home read TER, and fanatasize about transexual experiences, which is a shame because they are basically men with more issues than me.  I usually realize what a loser I am after I jackoff, which is alot.

Thats exactly how I feel sometimes especially right after my visit with a providers. But I really dont care what providers think sometimes. Sometimes I think providers are losers for doing what they are doing and sometimes I feel sorry for them!

world.  I don't think that I could necessarily go around banging them all at the same time, but as far as on an individual basis, I have met very few providers that I think would be out of my league.

Admittedly, for the most part, I am not seeing the high end provider that claims that she has a Masters degree, has travelled the world, etc.

Regardless of whether they will admit it or not, most providers are in their occupation because they just are not capable of thriving in a more accepted line of work.  There are the exceptions.

The only time I do not enjoy myself hobbying is when I am with a provider that I, personally, feel is not nearly at my level, yet she treats me indifferently.  At that point I ask myself, "Why am I paying HER???"

I guess what I am paying for is the freedom to have sex with a great variety of women while still enjoying the comforts and stability of being married to a mostly great woman that I completely click with except in the sex department lately.

If a man has the means for hobbying and it is not going to negatively impact other parts of his life, I say that he is a fool NOT to engage in the hobby to further enrich his life.

But, thankful of having tons of the variety of sex by different men meowww...


Mel

-- Modified on 5/17/2003 5:15:14 AM

Exactly the way this "hobby", in my opinion, is meant to be  pursued.

You can have safe sex anytime you want.We girls can't. Yes we can pick up a guy in a bar for sex very easy but it's not safe to do that. Yes you have to pay for it but it does not make you a loser.And men NEED sex more then women.Everyone knows that.

We use other people who come into our lives one way or another as mirrors of ourselves. We do care what other people think of us. We dress in specific ways, grow our hair to a certain length, etc., to affect others' opinions about us. Doesn't a provider display herself (or himself) in order to attract a favorable thought process? For example, "I think I'll give this person four hundred dollars to spend an hour with me.", is the way a provider, you at one time I assume, would want someone to think. Although it sounds independent and tough and tempting to say, "I don't care what anybody thinks.", the truth is that we do and we need to.

to define the term losser- lose-losing-lost,mislay;  ---   to suffer the lost of;cease to have;fail to get;fail to win;deprivation of;detriment. if you don't experience these things your not a loser. only trouble- others opinion of you.

in terms of intellect, education, likeability, etc, but more importantly in terms in "having it all together" in my life.

But I don't look down at them at all - most of them have had tough lives, and are doing damn well considering.

I totally understand that you may have not been exposed to this kind of behavior, considering your profession, but your statement that "men NEED sex more then women." is not necessarily true.  At least, not in a global sense.  There are many, many women that need sex more than a lot of guys out there.......

-- Modified on 5/17/2003 11:03:07 PM

Could not have said it better myself. Sometimes the best analysis is none at all.