I have owned my own businesses for more than twenty years. As a professional business consultant I work almost entirely with the owners or upper management of medium-size businesses. When I meet with a client, we usually address each other by our first names and rarely call each other "man, dude, or buddy".

Contrarily, when I go to see providers (many though not all) do not even take the time to learn my first name. It is not that they haven't had the chance. I have called them to set the appointment, called again when I arrive at their incall and called again to get their room number. In each instance, I have identified myself by name and the reason I was calling.

So in most instances the provider has had at least three opportunities to learn my name.

Thus the pet peeve. Why not call a client by their name rather than calling them Sugar, Doll, Daddy or Baby. It just seems to me that this is better business acumen and also much more personal.

Is my thinking wrong? I mean, wouldn't you rather be called by your own name?

I personally would rather have a lady who is fifteen possibly as many as thirty years younger than I am calling me by my name rather than Doll or Baby. It just seems both more personal and professional.

What are your thoughts?

-- Modified on 2/10/2007 3:06:10 PM

Or could it be that you're seeing some high volume providers once and then moving on?  Personally, I would love it if every provider I saw came while I was going down on her but I try to set my expectations a little lower on the scale of what's probable.  Understand this may be a pea under your mattress but in the great scheme of things  . . .

When i got into this 6mos ago i wondered why providers i contacted for a reference did not immediately recognize the client i was inquiring about. Now i know. There are so many emails, phone calls, etc that it is hard to keep up with who is who. Add to that the fact that most do not use their real name to begin with. I often hesitate before using a clients name because i am afraid i might call him by the wrong name. Sorta the fear of calling your wife by another name!

-- Modified on 2/11/2007 2:25:12 AM

 I live in Atlanta.

 Frankly, after a dozen years of playing with my girlfriends, I have never once had this problem.

 They all know me; I know them.  They all call me by my first name, plus some other choice ones which I, too, appreciate.

 Maybe it's the part of the country in which you live?  We southern beaus with our southern belles live a good life, and have lots of fun doing it, one friend at a time.

 Your point is well made, and I don't necessarily disagree with you.  However I have not experienced the same negative results that you have.

 Maybe it's a cultural part of living in the South?  Maybe it's a manners lesson that has been learned by association with others that live here?

 Finally, either way works for me, just as long as my lady is happy, and confident, and clean, and sassy, and smart.  A name is important, yes, but there is more, much more to the experience that goes with it.

 If you find a girlfriend that you really enjoy, then stick with her, go back and see her repeatedly, learn her likes and dislikes and teach her about yours,...my guess is that your results will begin to fall in line with your expectations.

 Do any of you ladies have a voice in this conversation?  What say you?

I live in the minneapolis area, I like calling my boyfriends by their names, some others must be different. I can understand where this guy is coming from, though, I sometimes miss being called by my real name, I of course use an alias as a provider. Just seems so impersonal, there are a few trusted ones who know my real name and call me that.
So I agree with Ted, maybe it's the location or the volume (urk!)

I basically agree with you on the name issue.  The other pet peeve I have is the total lack of responsiveness to phone calls and sometimes emails.  In any other business, you would be out of business if you totally disregarded clients' phone calls.

Years ago when I used the Rickbethel board name, I saw a provider with whom I had chatted back and forth on the board for several months. As a result, my board name was more solidly implanted in her mind. She moaned "Oh Rick" at the moment of orgasm, and immediately started apologizing for using the wrong name.

On the original topic, I'm not very sensitive about a provider who calls me "sweetie" or "honey" or the like. It's just the way she is and I accept it. However, it is definitely a turn on when the woman you're making love to calls you by your name.

I would rather pay the price of not returing your phone call and appearing as though I am just ignoring you, rather than call you up an hour or two after you left me a message, only to reach you while you are in the car, sitting next to your wife, with your two kids sitting in the back, and force you to explain who that woman was that just called you.

While this IS a business, it is a business unlike any other. Discretion is crucial, and if I have to "blow off" a few calls in order to maintain your discretion, that is fine with me. My rule of thumb is, if I get your voice message within an hour of when you left it, I can reasonably assume you will be able to take my call when I return your message without any awkward explanations. If more than an hour has gone by though, I just can't be confident that you will not be in the middle of a business meeting, or in the presence of someone else to whom awkward explanations would be due. So I err on the side of caution and do not return your call.

My suggestion to you is, if you haven't gotten a response from a lady and its been an hour or two, give her another call. Alternatively, when you leave a message for her, specifically state in the message that she can return your call at any time, and not worry about whether you might be alone or not.

I once asked an ATF whom I had seen at least 10-15 times prior to use my first name while we were in the midst of some passionate fucking and she refused and continued saying "baby".  Later, when we were getting cleaned up, I asked why she wouldn't use my name and she told me it is "bad for her head".  I took this to mean that it is too personal for her to start using my name.  It makes it too intimate for her psychologically, emotionally, etc.

Most of the ones I see, know my first name and use it.  Far more to the point, I take the time to get to know something of them and the session is NOT all about the sex... it is about the experience.

I was using that one provider to illustrate one reason that a provider might not want to use a client's name instead of "baby", etc.  I have seen many, many providers (15 + years at this hobby) and that was one example that came to mind.  It is not a broad stroke of all my experiences.

I dunno, I think I'd prefer sweetie, but maybe that works for you...

If you think about it, doing this at the wrong time can be a total stopper. Given some arousal, and I could see where it might happen often.  Using the right name in that situation might not be as easy as it sounds, especially when she might be seeing 50 or more guys in a year.    

The fact is, I have never heard one use my name in a session, even ones that I know very well.  I can forgive it.  The alternative, calling me by the wrong name at the wrong time-- would be disturbing.

LOL...I ALWAYS say my clients name (after I make a positive mental i.d.!) There is no way I could yell your present board name during the deed and keep a straight face though! Maybe this, perhaps ...HerrZunge me baby, HerrZunge me gooood! LOL

Back before I joined the hobby, I was out with this woman on a first date.  I had just broken up with someone I had seen for years.  With her, too, she had just broken up.  

At one point in the date, we both accidentally started speaking to each other at the same time, and simultaneously called each other by our previous lovers' names.

We then laughed our asses off.  That could not have been timed better.  No feelings were hurt.

...EXACTLY!

-- Modified on 2/13/2007 3:22:50 PM