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Sorry for the whine...but, geez - how unattractive am I?sad_smile
spaceeye 3111 reads
posted

Pardon me for the whining, self-pitying nature of this post and, yes, I'm posting with an alias because it just feels more comfortable this way.

I just came back from my fourth full-service provider experience, which still makes me a relative newbie in the hobby experience, though I have had several non-full-service FBSM experiences as well.

The experience was a cataclysmic disappointment including the ambience, the GFE and the general feeling I got from the provider.  One thing this and the other providers I have seen have in common is the relatively short amount of time they spend performing a BJ - especially a BBBJ.

I am polite and respectful always.  I am healthy and hygenically clean, always showering immediately before or at the appointment itself.  I treat the lady as though she were my girlfriend for the hour(s) of the appointment.  But to this point, much of the actual sexual interaction I have experienced has seemed forced or 'tolerant'.  And the intimacy of a BJ itself seems to be where the providers have balked.

It could be me.  I tend to be nervous, perhaps a bit anxious during a session, I think because I'm new at this.  I will keep trying in the hopes that I've just picked the wrong providers and that there are others out there with whom I would click.

But maybe it's me in a different way?  Maybe I'm more unattractive than I think or maybe I do something to make it difficult for a provider to find chemistry with me.

This bothers me...because I always consider the enjoyment factor of my partner, time paid for or not.  And because it's nice to feel wanted...that's part of what I'm in this hobby to experience.

Next time I see a provider, do you think I should flat out ask 'hey, if something down there deters you from doing this, will you please let me know what it is'?  Or should I continue to do the 'right' things (hygenically and behaviorally) and hope that I've just chosen poorly to this point?

Argh.  I haven't felt like this since high school.  And that was free...

CiaraPhx3663 reads

Related Link: http://www.azescortciara.com

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PaigeBennett3449 reads

It is my belief that you really have to like what you do in order to do it well. Also, your provider, like a girlfriend, has to know what you like in order to satisfy you. When she gopes down on you be sure to let her know how much you enjoy it. A moan or two, a deep sigh or even just running your fingers through her hair will communicate this to her. You don't have to outright say it if you are too nervous to do so. If she isn't assured that what she is doing is turning you on she will likely move on to something else. Afterall, this is your hour and its all about pleasing you. When your provider soes something you like always be sure to let her know so that she will continue to pleasure you. Unless you are a regular, it can sometimes be hard to figure out what you like unless you tell us. Hope things work out better for you next time. Kisses!

Related Link: Give this a try!

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HerrZunge2892 reads

It's possible that you've just picked the wrong providers. Are you selecting primarily on appearance scores?

My suggestion would be to select an older, experienced provider. Read the reviews and find one where many reviewers emphasize how great the provider made them feel.

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mustachemike1464 reads

I too have had an occasional mixed reaction/unsatisfying experience.  IMHO you are much more likely to have that "connection" and mutual enjoyment with a "mature" or MILF provider, someone who is well-reviewed.  Of course it helps if you are friendly and relaxed yourself, have you tried 'confessing' to the woman your nervousness/anxiety?

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r_bear112381 reads

It is more likely your personality. There are those who are not cut out for the hobby. They take it too personally. Some just cannot mix business with pleasure.

It is sex and companionship for money. Short bursts of intimacy.

For some it is a lifestyle. It just may not be yours. Nothing wrong either way. Dont be so hard on yourself!

or it could be simply you have gone for the wrong kind of woman for you. Some you click with and some you dont. No woman can be expected to be all for everyone. So do your research and choose someone who is more like what you would choose as a civie GF.

just a thought

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Lex Luethor1911 reads

...you can't possibly be less attractive than I am, and I've never had the problem you describe...except at home.

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Ida Bangeder920 reads

Your self-deprecation gets old. Can you post once in awhile without it.

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Lex Luethor3159 reads

But thanks for noticing. :)

Seriously though, you're not following along. I now have a mixture of self-deprecation and unbridled arrogance, usually with a smattering of sexless-marriage despair thrown in.

Heck, just the other day I was chastised for "bragging" (certainly not a self-deprecating act).

Besides, chicks dig feigned modesty.

:p




-- Modified on 11/17/2005 2:11:34 PM

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Stogiemanedu2820 reads

lol Lex....

I know how that is.

I promise it is not your looks, you may be wanting more out of this hobby than it has to offer. Keep at it though you very well may find someone you click with.

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avalon_rose1934 reads

Did you ask for more when she moved away from the activity? Some men want ooooodles of that, some men would rather do other things. If you want a lot of BBBJ, you need to ask for it. I know it seems like everyone would want lots of it, but since that's not the case, providers don't really know how much of it you want unless you ask.

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CiaraPhx2205 reads

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r_bear114463 reads

If a wood sucker could suck wood?

We need a light that changes from bj to fs on our forehead, or maybe one of those turkey popper thingys that they have on turkeys to tell you when they are done.

Great post avalon.

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mr.man3042 reads

it is YOUR time, YOUR fantasy, and YOUR money, how do you expect HER to know exactly what you do and do not like and/or desire,

You must help her out by telling her what you enjoy, even if it's just soft moans of encouragement during the act. If you give no positive response, she may assume that you prefer to get on to other activity. Quite often at the beginning of a session, as we get comfortable, I have been asked "what do you like to do?" At first, I never had an answer, but now I am certain to always assert that I am a very oral oriented person (both giving and receiving); and I've never had a negative response to that.

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