I agree it is hard to tell people outside ths industy what you really do for a living... LORD my family would freak... so I keep it to myself... took a long to confide in certain friends outside the industry... umm one is a New York talk show host now... LOL that felt risky... whew got it over with... she thinks it is a hoot and can't wait for me to come see her... Others have known for years and some worry 'bout my safety, but know I am completely happy and can't imagine me having a real job... nothing in the world like someone else to confide in though... that is why I still love talking with other providers the best... they really understand the day to day as we live it..
I just told one of my best girlfriends what I do and thank goodness she was accepting of it. I have to admit, I had to lie (at first) and told her I knew a friend in this business and I was interested in it to see what her reaction was. At this point in both of our lives, I think she doesn't care about trivial things and realizes we all enjoy certain things and have to make a living. She also understands that I have certain disabilities which might limit me from working a fulltime job again, albeit you'd never know it if you met me. She seemed sort of interested herself, being that she just moved here, doesn't make near the money she used to and enjoys sex. After I told her I spoke to a friend in the business who explained everything to me, she seemed sort of interested in it too, so I divulged my little secret. She was okay with it. I'm so happy, because I hated lieing to her. Plus, I now have someone very close to me that I can trust with it and will watch over me too. I know how many providers can relate to what I'm saying, but I don't think a lot of hobbyists realize just how hard it is on us sometimes: having to lie to family, close friends, making up stories as to where we are going for the evening or the weekend. It's definitely leading a double life and sometimes we pay the price for it. I know you, Michelle, will definitely appreciate this post. Kudos to you for being so open about it. I'm in the media business, so I have had to be very careful who I tell and don't tell. Primarily, other providers (like myself) have been the only friends I've been open with about this profession. Many just don't understand. Unfortunately, we still live in a very puritanical society and country.
I agree it is hard to tell people outside ths industy what you really do for a living... LORD my family would freak... so I keep it to myself... took a long to confide in certain friends outside the industry... umm one is a New York talk show host now... LOL that felt risky... whew got it over with... she thinks it is a hoot and can't wait for me to come see her... Others have known for years and some worry 'bout my safety, but know I am completely happy and can't imagine me having a real job... nothing in the world like someone else to confide in though... that is why I still love talking with other providers the best... they really understand the day to day as we live it..
Not just for you, but for all of us. What we do here on the boards is a huge step forward from the days when there was No community and there was no one to talk honestly and openly about the hobby. But taking that additional step, coming out of the closet as it were to civilians, is courageous and a victory for us all. Let us hope that the day will come when we can all talk about the hobby to anyone and everyone, if we so choose, and the day when being a provider will enjoy the stature it deserves -- up there with physical therapists, social workers and shrinks. And when that day comes, it will come because people like you have taken the step you just took. Thank you, Ci Ci.
I'm so happy for you. I'm sure that it can be very hard trying to hide this "secret" from a good friend. I have a provider who is going throught this same thing here. Take care, Ciara,be well and safe,
What make you think that we do not appreciate what you girls have to go through leading the type of life that you do. We know its not all about the money. I think you underestimate many of us. We are not alway lead around by our penis as you may think. Anyhow I for one are very happy for you. It would be nice if you can get you friend into the life, she could make some money and you would have one more thing to bind you.
I'm sorry if I offended you. I know you guys understand what it's like, but it's hard to fully understand unless you actually walk a mile in that person's shoes -- that's all. Just like, I have no idea what it feels like to be a hobbyist or just someone who has an ATF and has to also go home to his family. I can only imagine the strife it may cause sometimes.
Don't you feel just great? All giddy and relaxed all at the same time. Its special. Writing about this moment solidifies it and makes you stronger for you. Self acceptance is gold for the self esteem. Acceptance is gold. I like that. Nice math equations come to mind...Goodie for you.
You can perhaps e-mail her your new date info, and location in case you end up missing. I have a DNA kit at home, but I don't do the friend check thing. I have no kids, and no responsibilities other than a stack of student loans, but I have a bit of a sadistic side after 13 years of martial arts so I figure if something happens at least I'll be in action Kill Bill style. My hands should be registered but aren't.
Sometimes I tell people I am an artist and a writer. These are true. Its just that on the days I do things that pay my rent, I paint with my tongue and later write about it. I may post some rough draft stuff I have been working on the Twin Cities board. Something tells me they need a distraction today.
Thanks for support. You're right . . . it's a big relief and I'm floating on clouds right now.
Actually, it's funny you should say an artist and a writer, because I truly am a freelance writer and graphic artist. My degree is in Mass Communications in Print Media. I've done radio, newspaper, theatre and film. My love for the theatre and film probably outweighs anything else right now. I've been told I'm a great actress, but it's hard finding a role for me. Plus, even though I have an agent here, it's almost impossible to get an agent now in L.A. I suppose if I wanted to move back there, starve myself to death and pound the pavement every day, I could.
Life continually amazes me in that even as "mature, self-sufficient adults" how much we NEED acceptance and understanding. You are blessed for having received them.
I have been very lucky to find girlfriends outside of the business that accept what a do. I have one that likes reading my hooker books and another that likes to read TER. LOL
They love hearing my stories and love me for who I am and not what I do. True friends do not judge and it sounds like you have a true friend in her! True friends, are not easy to come by. I'm very happy that you have her, as she seems really special.
Now, maybe I'l have 2 wenches to see when I make my way down (or is it up)the Colorado river.(you can tell I was never good at Geography)....now exploration...especially them canyons and crevices...lol...Now, that's another story.
Speaking of them canyons...as Blackbeard the pirate said on more than one occasions...That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.
I know of a case where the provider confided her occupation to a friend. Everything was great until the provider's SO got involved with the friend....then everything blew up, a major fight ensued, and then the so-called friend ended up "outing" the provider. Bad deal all around.
Anyway, I think it's great you have a friend who is accepting of this businesss and that you feel comfortable confiding in her.
Personally, I have a lot to lose if I were outed, so I will never take the risk of confiding in anyone....in fact no other provider or hobbyist knows my real first name, much less my last.
I like to think that when I'm 80, I'll finally confide to my friends that I was an escort for 2-3 years--dating producers, high level execs and CEO's, and even an astronaut! They'll never believe me, but it will be fun to see their expressions anyway. LOL.
I remember reading with surprise in a previous thread that none of your friends knew you were provider. I can't imagine the difficulty and fear you lived under.
We may live in a sick, puritanical society, but there are still healthy, good, helpful freinds to be found. I'm glad you found one of them.
... I'm glad things worked out. Still, be careful who you disclose to. You leave yourself open to many things if you are not careful. Save talking about your feelings (most of the time) to the people on the board.
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