Are you looking for a fuck? Or are you looking for bonding with another human being who shares the same interests as yourself? The reason I ask is because Tinder is typically used exclusively for fucking. So most of the time those women are generally looking for you to be aggressive. I.E. kissing them, or showing interest in some fashion sexually? If you're getting together and having nice conversation and not conveying confidence you're striking out. Secondly the second to last sentence leads me to believe this is the case. You want something platonic.
I would like to draw this distinction however. You come across as quite the prick. Especially with what was stated in your last question. Lying to someone so that you can have sex with them? You know the answer to this. Faking interest or lying to someone to get into their pants isn't prudent, nor is it proper. Especially considering the other person might ACTUALLY develop feelings for you. Which begs to question, if they DO in fact develop feelings for you, how long can you feign interest in them? I ask this for the mere fact that if you cannot answer that question honestly and truthfully with forever? You'd only be breaking someones heart.
I'm not saying that you must have 100% interest in the person either. That's almost never certainly the case, but you have to learn to love their faults and weaknesses as well as their strengths and merits.
Some of us just aren't wired for this ^ my friend. That might have been harsh. I might have misconstrued what you were intending to convey, but that's how it came across to me.
To answer your question as a whole. Perhaps try dating websites? Ashley Madison etc. Where one can set up profiles with specific interests and find people who share said specific interests. Try going to conventions etc. If you're into video games or comic books go to gaming conventions and comic cons.
I have been married for 14 years. I married very young 23, but I met my wife at such a convention. It was actually for writers at the time. I just got lucky in that we both believe in poly vs monogamy. (An entirely different philosophical discussion) the trick is you need to have the confidence to approach these women. It's a tough thing getting rejected. It's even tougher dealing with said rejection. But you'll never know if you don't try. It sounds to me like the issue isn't that you're a bad looking individual. It's that you lack esteem, and confidence in who and what you are. I'm happy you changed your image, hobbies etc, but what have you done psychologically to better yourself? Have you gone out and gotten rejected? Been embarrassed? Because that is what helps build confidence. The more you fail at something the more your mind learns to cope and the more you learn that being rejected or acting a fool (And you will more than likely act a fool when you begin approaching women the first few times.) the more you begin to realize that it isn't so bad, and that it doesn't sting quite as much as you think it will.
Just get out there, be you, be who YOU are, not who you THINK you should be. Gain (GAIN) some confidence. Get shutdown, and things will come together for you. Put yourself out there.
Regards- TDR
But as the last guy said, it always costs!