I've seen one provider over ten times in the past several months. When her business is slow, she seems to get upset if I see someone else,however, when she is busy she rarely responds to my emails.  She is young and only in the business for less than a year, and I suspect that may have something to do with it.  For these reasons, I don't use her as a reference - I'm not sure how she would respond.

This topic has been discussed before. There are alot of rules concerning references/screening. I saw one provider website who actually makes you pay for screening. Some providers will not give out references if you have seen them more than 60 days ago.

The current climate is one where people have to use existing clients/providers. Lots of danger out there for all types of reasons. Sometimes you can get lucky and use a provider that does not make you "Jump through hoops". Just remember you put yourself at great risk doing so. There are types of traps out there to get people arrested so be careful.

"I think this is a little wrong since providers can and do see many different guys and so for me to see a second provider wasn't like cheating..."

That's thinking about it as a personal relationship, where it makes no sense.  But some providers think of all the others strictly as business competitors.  They see it as your auto mechanic might:  yeah I take money from all my customers, but I expect my customers to be loyal to me.

I don't give out references. Period. I don't give out ANY information of the individuals that I choose to see. A reviewer's handle is helpful to see what is desired, and what I can provide, otherwise most information could be deemed as an invasion of privacy, and should not be given.

You have two providers who have been indiscreet and mishandled your information.  They have paid no attention to the proper protocols regarding provider references.  Unfortunately these two ladies are not alone.

If the new provider wished to secure another provider reference then she should have asked you for the names and contact information for one or two providers.  You would have then contacted the ladies you wished to use as references to obtain their permission and let them know that they would be contacted by Jane Doe, the new provider for a reference.  You would have given those names and contact information to the new provider.  She would have then contacted your references to find out if they would be willing to see you again and determine that you are not a safety threat.  Your references should not be engaging in a 30 minute conversation where they tell the new lady your life history.

In this instance the provider that was contacted was probably jealous that she was going to loose some revenue or maybe she feels you are supposed to be faithful to her.  Who really knows at this point.  She was also very indiscreet in discussing you with another provider without your permission.  She has no way of knowing whether you actually were trying to book an appointment with the new lady or not unless you told her that in advance.  The provider who contacted her could have just been on a fishing expedition for her own purposes.

The new provider also has no sense of protocol.  Giving her your TER handle does not constitute permission to contact every lady you have ever reviewed without your advance permission.

I am not sure that as one poster suggested that this is just a matter of youthful ignorance.  Some providers demonstrate discretion and integrity and others do not regardless of age.

It may be of benefit to your fellow hobbyists to post this story with the names of both ladies on your local discussion board.  I think most hobbyists would prefer to avoid both of these ladies.

-- Modified on 1/5/2004 12:16:57 AM

-- Modified on 1/5/2004 8:09:52 PM

I probably don't have a right to be posting on this board at this point being as I am a new provider, but here goes nothing.
   The way I look at it is a basic customer service issue. I have run my own business (smaller than small though it was) for a number of years. The philosophy I always applied is to see to it the customer gets the best service or product based upon his or her needs. thus if I did not have the product or service to meet those needs I never had a problem sending the customer to a competitor who did. In the immediate yes this did cost sales but in the long run, it could result in multiple referrals from both the customer and my competitor.
   then we throw in the nature of this hobby, the enjoyment we should be getting from it, and the simple facts of life in our society all bring together that honesty and trust between a provider and hobbyists
   thus my opinions: provider A erred when she gave a negative reference (assuming such was not justified)  for the response from a client who is not happy is going to be much greater than that of one who is. (the start of this tread is point in fact) Also i would think even talking to provider B without a heads up was indiscreet as she could not have known for sure the person calling her was neither a SO or LE?
   Provider B should have been at least open to allowing the client to respond to the charges per se. also she should have asked for more than one reference (for as we all should know there is always the chance that one will be somewhat skewed) and if not more than one review or reference available she might have taken a similar outlook as the safe client and asked for additional proof of  identity to assure her own safety.
   Finally, the hobbyist, I hate to tell you this but from what you have said in your original posting you also made mistakes. You failed to give a head's up to provider A. thus you also did not know how she might react to such a circumstance, keeping in mind that you understand our need for safety if provider A is up till this time your only reference you might have mentioned that to provider B and asked her if she would need additional verification of identity.
   as far as differences in compensation, the barter system has been along much longer than the almighty dollar and will likely outlive said dollar the details of which should remain between provider and client.
   one thing i would never agree to nor recommend especially in our pastime is the use of a personal check. one it gives too much information that is not needed. and two it would be very awkward to explain for both provider and client for that matter.
   well that is my 2 cents worth (if not more) in the mean time, DA, happy hunting.
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