... it seemed to me that all of everything posted boils down to respect, going both ways.

I am deliberately using a much-used alias for this post to keep people from linking my reviews as an agrument, but in all modesty, I don't consider myself a bad hobbyist.

Where I'm going with this is, I've negotiated the price of sessions on several occasions.  Is this a bad thing?  I'm not loaded with "Crashbucks".  Met a provider I really enjoyed, maybe saw her a few more times, and then wanted to do something special with her, perhaps Vegas or something.  Before doing so, though, I want to know what she expects from me.  There's no other way to know but to ask.

A 24-hour time for a $400/hr provider translates to nearly $10k, so a weekend in Vegas (3 days) would be about $30k.  Okay,  by the tone of the posts below, I should either grin and pay up, or forget the whole idea entirely, since it is grossly disrespectful to ask the lady, "hey can I get a break here?".  If an arrangement  can be made, well, hell, that's what business is all about.

If I thought that a lady was going to react negatively and tell me I had no respect for her, I would never even attempt it, I'd have to be pretty comfortable that I know her well enough.

Negotiating is not, imho, in and of itself, a sign of disrespect.  I for one certainly don't mind taking a lady to dinner or the theater, but I also don't expect to pay her full rates for the privilege of doing so, and it's best to avoid confusion by ASKING BEFOREHAND.   All the posts about negotiating look like they were intended to make me feel like a cheap, disrespectful bastard; I don't think I am, but feel free to disagree, since all of you, providers and hobbyists alike (at least the one's who responded to Tra's thread), seem to think so.

I did not read this name or any name for that matter mentioned below.

Beyond that, you're example here is clearly not apples and apples comparison. I'm pretty sure Tra was talking about hourly rates in general. So, yeah negotiating a ladies rate of $4,5 or $600 is in poor taste. Just move on.

But I am with your on a three day weekend or real long date. That is completely different and don't think all ladies would feel offended, supposing you approached it as a gentleman. Not a problem.

As for a dinner date, ummm. That one may be a little more tricky, but I won't pass judgement. Often times with me it is keystrokes or mouse click involving click link to open website link, click on photos, then on fees and whoa, if too high, click the X and close. Next.

when inquiring about fees. When a provider lists her rates for specific durations then the message is clear and negotiations are most often frowned upon.  If your plans are for longer engagements or durations (e.g. multiple days, 24 hours) and those fees are not readily available then of course inquiry is necessitated in an appropriate manner.

Dinner/date scenarios are similar.  Many providers make it perfectly clear that their fess are all about their time investment.  So 3 or 4 hours is 3 or 4 hours regardless of how you spend the time.  Others may have a specfic rate associated with longer dinner/dates.  In each of these cases fees are explicitly advertised and should be free from negotiation.  If you see no indication about how a dinner date will be handled then by all means ask (again in an appropriate manner).

There is a big difference between ascertaining fees for your desired date when they are not posted then trying to haggle for a lower fee that is specifically advertised. That being said I will side with you a tad on one aspect of this topic...and I'm sure many will disagree with my thoughts...

Some providers do in fact negotiate fees and some providers offer specials now and then.  I'm not saying this is the norm or majority but it is a fact that these rate flucuations occur.  If a hobbyist has had such an experience then for him variations on fees is a real possibility.  So if he should politely and respectfully inquire if a fee is absolutely etched in stone then I don't see why his request cannot be replied to in a similar polite and respectful manner...i.e. simply say 'no'.  Each party, if they choose, can handle this question/answer in a courteous manner.  

Let me try another on for ya:  My (now former) ATF of three years and I had an arrangement we worked out.  She got a steady regular for a long time and I paid less than most clients would have for the number of dates.  She got something, I got something, ahhh... the art of negotiation.  Negotiated the hourly and ya know what??  I don't feel bad about it.  Why should I?  If it was a bad arrangement for her she would have just said NO.

-- Modified on 2/7/2007 9:20:39 AM

Personally, I would be pissed if asked to negotiate for a one or two hour appt but for extended appts, I am more than willing to negotiate.

xo Lisa

If someone wanted me to be exclusive that is one thing....
If someone offered me a trip to Vegas for the weekend...I would NOT charge for time sleeping (8-9 hrs)
or the 3 hrs a day I would need/want by myself for personal reasons.
I would figure that into my price range.
The question is: Could anyone, or would anyone be willing to tolerate tons of laughter, possible rug burn, my bunny slippers and drinking coffee in the morning while reading my wall street journal and also, um, being VERY sore by the end of those 3 days.

Its pointless to not feel like a cheap, disrespectful bastard.  Trying to explain your way out of it does not help, because we are afterall talking about women and money.  

Embrace being a cheap, disrespectful bastard.  There's nothing wrong with that, comparatively speaking.  The other side of the argument does not want to be called what they are either.  Unless you pay extra for that.

This explains my point perfectly!

After you see the lady a few times and want to be a regular client, then it's OK to negotiate a lesser fee. But never on a first time visit. As for the three day trip, if there are no rates posted for something like that, you HAVE to negotiate it.

From a personal point of view, let me just say that while I never try to negotiate a rate even from a regular provider, I do end up getting loads of extra time and even dinner dates at no extra charge. This may not have happened if I tried to bargain at the outset. However everything in this hobby is about YMMV.

I'm sure there are ladies who will never negotiate, and be offended if asked, and others who are perfectly willing. Here's a generalization that I bet is true, though:
If you call up a lady and whisper sweet nothings like "I can get it for less" or "there's lots of better looking women out there" or "I'm really good looking, you should be paying me", then I bet you will not be successful in your negotiation. In fact, if you try to haggle with an established provider whom you have never met before, I would be surprised if you got anything but Mr. Dial Tone.

On the other hand, if you have a successful date or two with a lady, and then you tell her that you'd love to see her on some kind of regular basis, or for an extended time date, I bet many providers would be willing to cut a deal with you.

Cut a deal? Hahaha, well......

I've been seeing my ATF for a number of years now. When I first met her, she had a 3 hour minimum at $1500 then it escalated over the years to what it is currently. A 3 hour minimum at the posted rate.

Here's the deal I cut with her.....

Whatever she tells me.....GOES!! Period!!!

I would never even consider asking her for a deal!! Her business is her business, not mine. I do not manage her finances and should I decide I cannot afford or wish to pay what she says, I'll simply move on.

I don't really see that happening in the near future. Her way of taking care of me is to provide me with the single most rewarding provider/hobbyist experience imaginable to me...EVERY TIME.

Now, in my book.....that's a deal!!!

What tra described were very unethical tactics.  Personal fouls and worse.  Trying to use reviews to extort and such. Or offering an insulting low-ball amount and then continuing the haggling for days.  

As much as providers hate negotiating, your free to try.  I'm certain if you're a steady, weekly or bi-weekly client, knowing that money will be there might be worth a discount. I'm certain if it's a "special assignment" like a weekend in Vegas, you might have leverage.  I'm certain you could come up with a good deal with a barter.  

However, I can't think of much that a guy could bring to the table for a discount.  

Some guys try might try to use their exuberant personalities, good looks, their fucking  skills, or their big cocks-- in which case the tryster has every right to figuratively kick'm in the nuts and literally laugh in their face.

-- Modified on 2/7/2007 10:28:12 PM

I have only done one overnighter - and that was with a "friend"!  and oddly enough, even she in the AM had to get up and go to another bed!  I am REALLY difficult to sleep with!  3 days of that?  I'd be lucky if the lady wasn't wearing diapers to get AWAY from me! lol!!!

If I am going on a business trip to a lady's favorite destination - someplace she has always wished to visit, and it was expensive to get there and to eat and stay there.... And as a regular of hers I knew this?  would I offer... with some sort of expectation of a package... sure... but for a trip to Vegas?  or Miami... or even London (but why you would take someone to London and not want to see Carrie of London - is a mystery to me!) - I suspect that they would take exception and want their standard rates...

In fact - I cannot think of a place where my above situation would apply... except possibly New Zealand... parts of China, India - but under 4 star conditions.... etc....  Maybe.... just Maybe Africa... some part... but under very highly defined conditions... not even Tahiti!

The worst she can say is, “No.”  You will find that you can usually get a deal out of a provider, around the first of the month, if her rent is not paid.  Furthermore, there are many escort communities in the nation where negotiation is part of the process.  Don’t try it in DC, but in other places it’s acceptable.