What is next? Hello Kitty?

I am gearing up for another NetM adventure, involving crossing of state lines, and strange bedfellows. To prepare, I ate fresh steamed mussels, crab, and beer all day. I rewarded my efforts with the aquisition of a pink punk rock pleated mini, pink large patterned fishnets, and these roach stomping pink Gripfast English boots. Nails are laquered pink to match. Furry bush, no undies, oh yes, best part: a trucker baseball hat with graffiti words that says  "Chelsea." Pink, letters. What's with all the pink? I think I am getting femmy.

So, me, a crazy chicky, starts thinking of hobby fashion, and (hold it, must not give free show to the guy on the subway platform, grabbing skirt...) what have you seen that made your eyes roll and made you want to slap a do not breed sticker on your hobby friend? Drumroll: the good, the bad, the ugly...

I like cotton boxers with nice patterns on them. The tighty whities are grey boys, and the black silk undies are so last season Sopranos.

I want to hear about the old bras, the ratty undies.

It's when I saw a string hanging out I started to think EEEEEEEWWWWWW.

  FR.

I had 30 pair, one for every day of the month so I would only have to do laundry 12 times a year.  (Do you think if I told a young provider that my kink was to watch her do my laundry nude that...I'm sorry...never-mind about that.)  I'm thinkin' Michelle had something sexier in mind when she was bringin' up undie talk.
 For some reason, with my large ass, tidy whites are the only thing I can find.  Somehow I've managed two pair of maroon colored ones...which I wear to entertain my providers.  But they're starting to go now too.  I'm sad beyond repair about losing the only colorful ones I had.  They make outragiously colorful clothes for fat guys...think Willard Scott...but my local big & tall man shops only have white undies.  I'm gonna get some tie-dye makin's and wow you ladies.
(I'm artsy-craftsy that way)    Color requests?

P.S.  I will get a website open soon if you want to have any of my used underwear sent to you for a modest fee.  I will have a  calander made of my particularly ratty ones for 2005.  Scents I enjoy are sandelwood and peppermint.  I always have my passport ready and am ready to travel at a moments notice.  If the trip is longer than 30 days I will need an advance underwear deposit.

-- Modified on 5/22/2004 7:19:49 PM

-- Modified on 5/22/2004 7:21:11 PM

My favorite brothel.  She wore the classic little black skirt, black patent heels and sheer black stockings. Her hair in a 50s flip, she was the spitting image of Audrey Hepburn.  I bought an hour of her time in the brothel and was hooked -- she even had Audrey's accent, and talked of the places she'd visited all over the world.  So I bought another hour and then yet another.   At the end of it all, she got dressed again and I looked at her longingly -- all she needed was the long cigarette holder to be right out of Breakfast at Tiffany's.  On a whim, I asked her to meet me for a drink after her shift.  She agreed -- so long as I was discreet and made sure we weren't noticed!  So at two in the morning on a Saturday night, I stood on Second Avenue across from the brothel waiting for my Audrey, as gay guys and SWs cruised by, staring at me with eyes bloodshot and hungry.  I waited and I waited some more.  Would she come?  Johns tumbled out of the place's door; drunks stumbled by; someone came out of the bordello with garbage.  Finally a figure, slightly familiar, emerged: short and stooped, in baggy hooker green pants and a boxy tan shirt splotched with stains.  I crossed the street.  Could it be her? She had short spiky hair instead of the flip. She was -- Jesus -- kind of artsy-grungy, very punk, sooo Lower East Side.  Then she turned, saw me and smiled broadly.  Yes, it was her!  And then I realized the gift she'd just given me.

-- Modified on 5/22/2004 8:29:32 PM

Nothing worse than ratty untidy tighty whites with those brown "milky way" stains...lol

reminds me of my second session with a "legendary" agency vixen...TG she spared me the nasty details until after our steamy session but anyhow the previous client had dropped a nervous load in his pants...only for her to find his soiled fruitofthe loomies in the bathroom garbage pail afterwards.
HOOOOOUUUUUSSSSEEEEKKKKEEEEEEEPPPPIIIINNNNGGGGG!

She knew something was awry when upon his leaving...some of the back of his tan pants were a browner shade of pale.
YIPES!

Cheers!

-- Modified on 5/23/2004 4:44:45 AM

Turk...that was you in the raincoat,fisherman's hat, and Woody Allen nose glasses?...

Great descriptive tale!...It put me right there... although something tells me I've been there before.

Cheers!

please spare us the skidder-ish details, chap!

talk about foul!
good heavens!



Tally-Ho!

a same time fling with a hooker in London town on a bench right by the tower of Big Ben. It was a BBBJCIM precisely at the strike of 2:00 AM.
It was one of my finest hours.


Tally-Ho!

Happens all the time in my business, especially after we make offers that can't be refused.


Baddabing!

Just the other day I caught 2 interns by surprise.


Your both fired!

Had to fumigate the office.

Chachaching!

talk about cleaning ones clock.
I mean c**K.


Baddabing!

If you can afford to provide or hobby, then splurge on the undies, P L E A S E.

Hugs,
Ciara

old, soiled undies that I can just stand in the corner instead of throwing them crumpled on the floor.  LOL  Don't you gals appreciate a guy who is neat?

I hear you guys have color coded undies; brown in the back and yellow in the front.

the ones who talk the most have the cleanest undies.  I've seen VonRyan's undies when I was hired to stalk him and you could eat breakfast off them.  It's the strong silent type who refuse to banter away about dirty under-things that have the nastiest underwear.  Immaturity breeds cleanliness.
 No one was seeing my underwear until I started the hobby.  I could've been wearing pink thong lacey things, and frankly, sometimes did, and no one would be the wiser (except that once when I bent over at Wendy's to pick up a quarter and a young child and her mother suddenly needed to leave to "check something in the car."
 I've been undies shopping recently.  I buy undies now on the same trip as getting my STD testing done.  I call it "Hobby Errand Time" and make a day of it.
 Sign-up for the next group "Hobby Errand Time" will be posted soon.

That was you under the bed?...I thought it was someone from housekeeping...lol

The only time VR was ever stalked was when I read Jack and the Bean "stalk" about 10 years ago or so to my daughter.

Feefifofum...

Cheers!

Constantly risking absurdity and death
 whenever she performs
   above the heads of her audience,
      Michielle, like an acrobat
         climbs through the moments of her life
             to a high wire of her own making

Balancing on eyebeams above a sea of faces
 she paces her way to the other side of her day
     performing entrachats  and sleight-of-mind
        tricks and other elegant theatrics.

And best: she does it all without mistaking
 any thing for what it may not be.

She is the super realist
 who must perceive taut truth
   before the taking of each stance or step
       in her advance toward that still higher perch
          where Beauty stands and waits with Gravity
              to start her death-defying leap.

There she prepares:  The green-eyed woman
   who may or may not catch Beauty's fair eternal form
      spreadeagled and plummiting through the air.

-- Modified on 5/24/2004 6:15:55 AM

-- Modified on 5/25/2004 6:20:42 AM

Not so good - lots of stinky oils...