Everyone wants to be liked and special! Gifts show you are not cheap and appreciate the "service"
I receive many very nice -- some simple & some more elaborate gifts from my clients and although I appreciate the gesture, I sometimes have to wonder if something more is expected during a session (ie more time, extras that are not typically offered) I hate to seem suspicious but one does have to wonder.
GUYS: Why do you bring gifts...honestly?
LADIES: Do you ever feel even a little bit obligated to offer something extra to gift givers or do you simply take it as a showing of appreciation and leave it at that
I bring gifts according to her Gifts section of her website.
I usually bring a good $40 bottle of wine and do not expect her to share with me. It is for her to enjoy at her leisure.
I do not expect anything beyond what she offers.
Who doesn't like a gift? I don't expect any extra except maybe a smile and hug and knowing she is happy.
Whether I like the gift or not, it's a nice gesture - whenever somebody goes out of his/her way to be nice to me, of course I will want to return the favor, in some way. I will want the guy to feel special.
However, I don't go overboard. For the *most* part, the guy is doing it because it makes HIM happy. He wants to give a gift to a pretty woman, and elicit a positive response from her. He wants the time to feel more personal. He wants to be remembered. Most of the gifts I've received...are things that they GUY wants me to have, the type of things a GUY wants to picture himself giving to a girl. So I think that just being genuinely appreciative of his kindness (if not the gift itself, lol) and making the guy feel special, is enough. That's really what he wants. If he wants free time...that will be pretty obvious...if it's something very expensive you can truly use, maybe it would make sense to give him some extra time, but otherwise, no.
(I had a guy TELL me a gift was expensive one time to try to impress me and curry some extra favor...and he blatantly lied! lol. Couldn't even sell it to a consignment shop).
My favorite gifts have been personal/unique...things that I cannot go out and by myself, or would not know to look for. An author's book, a photographer's photo, a musician's CD of his favorite performance. Sure, I'd prefer to get a jaguar, or very nice jewelry as a gift..but I have particular tastes, and have only once received a gift of that ilk I've actually liked. So just little momentos, or nothing at all please, for me. Otherwise it's getting re-gifted, tossed, donated, or sold on ebay
They really do make the time with each other more personal. I've rarely received a gift that wasn't on my gift list, but when I have it's been really nice things like jewelry. I never feel obligated to provide anything more than the time agreed upon. But I think gents who share- wine, a gift, chocolates, etc, will naturally be thought of differently...
In real life I would feel there was an ulterior motive behind an extravagant gift coming from someone I didn't know. Weird, I know, but that's how I feel. I would absolutely accept it, but it is the giver's responsibility to have clarity as to why he's gifting. Gifts should come with no expectations. Gifts should be received with no need to reciprocate in any way. Otherwise it's not a gift; it's a payment.
In general, and in my personal philosophy, I believe that gifting is good for creating a positive flow of energy. When we refuse gifts, we create blocks in that flow. I think it's even important to accept a glass of water if offered. Keeps the circulation going.
I like to give jewelry, it's just my thing.
I love the look of excitement on the gal's face when she sees it. I love to see her wear it.
I don't expect any difference in the session on account of it. Giving has to be its own reward.
By the way, sometimes I get gifts from providers too. I love that the person put thought into it. It makes me happy.
I give them, however, nothing expensive. no Kate Spade handdbag, no Ipads, no Loubies. I think it puts the provider at ease, at the beginning of the session. I do not expect anything more if I bring a gift.
I enjoy giving modest gifts of things like chocolates or wine. Wine is usually consumed during the session if she likes it and can drink at that time of day or night. As for the chocolates, others here have suggested that room service gets those. Who knows?
I haven't given anything like jewelry, but only because I don't know any of the ladies' tastes yet, and don't want to give something that's a dud.
It's just something I enjoy doing. I like the little extra expressions of thanks (not expecting anything else).
Or even a bit awkward. If its an ongoing thing something small that's somewhat personal or useful might be cool. I know I'm gonna catch grief for this one but I gave a lady I see regularly and talk to quite a bit about outside hobby stuff a nice pocket knife once. Sounds kind of dorky but my TER handle comes from Case XX pocket knives and its just a little something for her to remember me by when we part ways eventually due to one of ya leaving this hobby. Thought it was a small personal gesture met several times since and it's always in her purse. Nothing expensive or flashy think it was 40 bucks or so, I did spend a little thought into picking out one that was a bit more lady like than what I would carry. Don't think the average gal would have much use for a 2 bladed deer skinner.
The gentlemen in my circle make it well known my preference for chocolate and the effect it tends to have on me. Even though I have never felt obligated to do anything, a gift of something I like has always just made sessions even more fun.
On the other hand, I love giving gifts to gentlemen! Depending on how well we get along, if its the first date or 20th, etc. I love seeing the different expressions & reactions. Many gentlemen don't expect it, but I like to turn the tables every now and then.
I distinctly remember a time when a gentleman and I exchanged gifts because we had brought each other something, unbeknownst to the other. It was funny and we had alot of laughs about it.
I like buying Gifts every now and then for her to show my Appreciation to her on how Nice she treats me. I NEVER expect anything more or less when I pay for a Session. My Provider is Super Sweet. For a guy to expect more from a Provider because they buy a Gift is just WRONG in my book. A Gift is just a nice gesture to show Appreciation.
They may just like giving gifts. I have a friend who loves to give gifts to everybody who moves. It's just her thing.
Also, they could be trying to get you to date them
They may be showing off
It may turn them on
One of my first clients gave me so much shit there was no way I could make it up to him. He was just very generous. And I mean a gift over $3k was within probably over $15k worth. Idk wtf that was all about, but what can ya do?
Maybe he was investing in case I actually reach the goals I am striving for. He will be set in that case lol
A lot of ladies in the real world don't get to enjoy the " It feels like Xmas everyday " feeling! Kisses, V
If it puts a smile on the lady's face, then it was a success.
I've always bought gifts for women. When I met my ex in high school, I was always buying her clothes, jewelry, you name it.
Women are fun, and more fun when they smile.
It was around XMas a few tears ago & the mistress (married at the time) wanted a Burberry scarf. So I pick something out w/ matching gloves with the assistance of a SUPER hot customer service rep. I get in line and I'm next to an older guy (70-ish). I look at the price tags and I'm in for $500. I randomly turn to him and say, "If my father were still alive, he'd punch me square in my face. I didn't know these were made out of crushed Bald Eagle beaks".
The Ole Timer shrugs & says exactly what you just did. "If it makes her happy, you did well". She was VERY happy & he was right.
I've always bought gifts for women. When I met my ex in high school, I was always buying her clothes, jewelry, you name it.
Women are fun, and more fun when they smile.
It is a turn on and of course It makes for a very comfortable ride.
Everyone wants to be liked and special! Gifts show you are not cheap and appreciate the "service"
Sometimes a gift is just a gift,
as a non-water-based, non-silicon based lube for our rendezvous - just a way to make things go more smoothly. And as a bonus, it's safe to use with all toys and condoms.
I prefer to give the decoder ring from my Cracker Jacks as a gift. It seems to help the provider decode my intentions in giving the gift.
Theres always hookers needing a warm winter coat.
a pearl necklace.
As someone who enjoys buying gifts for his favourite provider I don't think you need to feel suspicious or obligated to provide more than you want.
You have to remember that buying gifts, even if they are just small tokens or trinkets, can be just an expression of the affection one has for a provider, certainly in my case I enjoy buying small tokens that I feel the provider will enjoy after our meeting is over, I've never bought something with the intention of getting more out of a meeting than we've agreed to beforehand
Remember the GFE can apply in both directions, it can be as nice to provide as it is to receive. A client should be respectful enough to provide a gift with no strings attached should they wish, it shouldn't be a bartering tool for something outside the original agreement between client and provider
A gift should be just that, a gift, with no strings attached
I have rarely bought gifts for my friends (even those whom I see often); occasionally though, I see something that so obviously is "meant for" this or that young lady, and I can't help myself. I just gave something of an ultra-personalized nature to my ATF a few weeks ago. She absolutely loved it, says she hasn't taken it off yet, etc. It adds to the fantasy of us having a special, unquantifiable relationship. How much of that relationship is in my head (or facilitated by the size of my wallet) and how much of it is real? I'll have to get back to you on that--I'm still trying to figure that one out myself…
Does she feel a bit obligated to "give something extra"? I don't know, a little bit of both, I guess: She was already giving me something extra, which is why I was motivated to get her a gift, which may get her to give me more "extra attention"…but I'm not playing games here. I got her a gift because I wanted to. She'll give me extra time or other consideration because she genuinely enjoys my company. It's all good...
Leave it at that. Must we analyze everything to death or be suspicious of everything everyone does. There are many people who do things because they want to or like to and don’t expect anything in return.
-- Modified on 9/28/2013 1:31:29 AM
I only give gifts if there is a true connection. I saw a provider for 2+ years and she took care of me...needless to say I went to tiffanys on several occassions....her birthday, christmas, returning from a trip out of the country and just because...
And maybe make you remember me too... if I'm lucky.
Sometimes a special bottle of whatever she likes to drink (a couple of times I have ordered a case of a specific brand she likes... delivered it personally during the next appointment)
Mostly gift cards though...I try to make for something that she will actually use... like if she is into the outdoors: REI. Into working out: Sports Authority. But usually... Amazon, Starbucks, AMC Movies... places like that