Although, I will say it depends on:

1. How you're outed
2. Whether you have a family and/or a high profile job

If someone outs you very publicly, and has documentation to back up her claim, denying it only goes so far. In that case, you're pretty much screwed.

However, if someone were to, say, out you on this board, and you don't have a particularly high profile job where the media, or an employer, would be on the look out for your name popping up in unwanted places, you could probably limit the damage.

i mean its not like we live double lives and have family or feelings anything..

what an ignorant statement.

lives, kids, jobs, school, husbands, etc, to worry about. They don't want everyone in their neighborhoods talking about them. No one wants to be forced to relocate to another city or state.

The ladies rarely come out of it smelling like a rose.

I am sure some ladies here could tell a few tales of woe about whats happened to them.

This is neither an exaggeration, nor a boast.

As a provider who suffered through a vicious  outing, had to take a hardship withdrawl from school and moved a thousand miles after losing my entire family (whom I am still estranged from over my "behavior" and general lack of morality)-

Uh, yes, providers have a comparable lot to lose.

It may not be your 2.5 kids and a white picket fence but we're whole people whose situation is as fragile and precarious as your own due to our proclivities.

Excuse me? hobbyists have "much more to lose" than providers?  What sort of skewed logic brought you to this conclusion?

Contrary to what a few (not all) hobbiest believe,
We have feelings, we cry, laugh, go shopping, enjoy our families, our pets,...

Its so unfortunate when someone outs someone else in this world of allure and seduction. It is so very important to choose providers who are upscale, classy and are independent providers because you run less of a risk with a lady who runs her own business. Sometimes a bit of caution is really a good thing when choosing a companion even if her rates may be high, the discretion that she uses when planning visits with her clients and the care that she takes to make sure that her gentlemen friends retain their privacy is well worth it.

Sitara Devi

It's one of those examples of "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"  We all have too much to loose.

THis hobby is all about making choices.  Ladies who screen well, independant, and well established in community usually exersise higher degree of discretion.

Lina

Providers are in a business in which their discretion is even more important to their reputation than the numbers in reviews. A provider lacking discretion is OUT OF BUSINESS and loses her livelihood in a heartbeat. She would only do this in the gravest of extremes.

A smart provider could probably figure out a way to do this without destroying her business; but this has to be rarer than rare. (I can think of about a dozen ways off the top of my head. So if I can think of them, providers can too.)

So, in dealing with your standard TER-type provider, you probably have zilch to fear unless you are doing something pretty horrible.

Now, I will admit that there is the possibility that some young, clueless providers who are still emotionally adolescents probably exist; though I'm not personally aware of any. And such a provider *could* try to out a hobbyist over any number of light and transient issues.

If that is the case, you had best make sure all your hobbying leaves no discernible evidence so that you have plausible deniability. In other words, give the spouse plenty of room for self-deception and nothing to contradict that.

As a general rule, you shouldn't put written receipts in your wallet from providers that say: "$X for sexual services." (*grin*)

Once she outs you -- let everyone know she did it. She'll learn muy pronto.

A great friend/client of mine was outed and it was ugly for everyone involved!!  I have taken 3 months off and moved to another state just to get away from his wife.  She went after my special needs son, my house, and my reputation with friends and family.  ITS SO IMPORTANT THAT EVERYONE IS NOT "OUTED"!!!  It will affect everyone around you!  

I'm so sorry this has happend to you or anyone else for that matter....it is good to be back in big for a little play time though...

NY and SC are not good role models.  Caution, caution, etc.

Having lived through that with you and others.

I can attest that no gets off easy if that happens. Its Usualy a life altering experience for the worse.

tyvm,P.T.

Yes, married hobbyist's have a lot to lose, but a provider has, IMHO, a hell of lot more to lose.  I'm not gonna go into details, because others have already done that.

If I get outed to my sisters, my attitude would be, hey, it's my life, if you don't like what I'm doing with it, too bad.  I'm having sex with beautiful girls, they like me, and I love them.  If you can't handle that, go back into your cave, and just leave me the fuck alone.  

I have tried to hide it from my sis's because they will definitely understand what I do.  If they find out, well, I will probably admit it and tell them, deal with it.  I am what I am.

Swim



-- Modified on 8/17/2009 7:46:50 PM

he says this girl is turning in 3 clients and 3 girls...she had been helping bust girls for quite awhile now...and I know that doesn't help You...however if it were me I would just deny it....does she actually have anything on You...I know for myself I get rid of everything...I'm new and wish there was some advice I could give You...I feel bad for You and for the girls...just PLEASE next time choose your words wisely...

could be the "Hail Mary" pass when all else fails!

Been through it so good luck!

Suggest loss of family to hobbyist or provider is equally as painfull for you to suggest otherwise is foolish to say the least.

My general rule and gauge is to see people that have more to lose than I do.

This has served me well. No rif raf, no problems, etc.

I made a couple of exceptions here and there but most of my exceptions have ended up being in that same category but they didn't appear so on the surface.

The fellas that didn't qualify didn't like it too much.

many of my fellow hobbiests' assumptions absolutely shock me.  Some assumptions I've read on this board include:

you cannot get an STD from unprotected oral sex.

All providers don't have higher educations.

Providers actually believe that I am the most gifted man in the world sexually.

Providers have no problems and run around all day in high heels and sexy victoria secret outfits waiting for me.

It is ok to call a provider at 2 AM when all the bars have closed and demand that she see my puking sorry drunken self and service me, even though my state of intoxication has COMPLETELY shut down Mr. Johnson and the twins.

It is perfectly Okey for me to bring MJ, Crack, Cocain or anyother of my drugs de jour when I go see the provider....   after all, she is doing something illegal also.

Jenny, think about it.... while ignorant, it is also stupid.... ignorant can be treated with knowledge (education) while stupid is an innate condition and NOT treatable.

Where to start?  How about our political history - shall we?

What would history be like had Nixon said, when Watergate first broke: "those putzes, what morons.  I told them to get information on the DNC, not break into their HQ!  and yea, they passed the information on to me, I read it, it was of no value to me, and I'm gonna send the lot of 'em to jail."

Or Clinton had said: "Fuck you, I'm the president, if I want a BJ in the oval office, guess what, I'm gettin one.  Whats it to ya?"

Or GW had uttered: "WMD?  we don't need no stinkin WMD...  I'm gonna prove dad was a wus... I'm gonna get that madman Sadman House!"

Or Gov McGreedy sang: "Gay?  yea, I'm gay... and I am very happy also."

The point being - fess up if caught.  Shortens the "punishment period" does not permit others to say "and you lied about it too." and lets you get back to hobbying quicker.  

We all (and I do mean ALL) have secrets.  One extreme right wing US senator I went to school with is infamous for his strong stand on harsh punishment for convicted criminals... Once at a class reunion, I asked of him "But what if you and I had been caught when we were young?  Have you no empathy"  - his response which tells tons... "but we didn't get caught."

Rule #1 - don't get caught.  Rule #2 - if you do get caught red handed - fess up and quickly get on with your life.  Rule #3 - for my sage advice put the donation into the envelop and send said envelop to the following addy...

Bwahahahaha....

I agree completely that choice of providers is important.

However, what I think is important in a provider with regard to this topic is her personality and the reflection of her personal/professional ethics.  There are markers that can be used to indirectly assess a provider's ethical content.

There is absolutely no correlation between a provider's rates and her ethics. In fact, in general, there is little correlation between wealth and ethics for anyone. Sorry.

While the *content* of unethical activity may differ with socioeconomic status; the existence of unethical activity as a class of activity seems not to vary. (Madoff, Enron, Oxycontin, Fannie Mae ...)

I'm also not certain that calculations of differential risk based upon economics between providers and clients make sense.

"Riff raff" who "only" has a wife to lose may have substantially more at risk, from his perspective, than a billionaire for whom loss of $10M is no different that the morning's stock variation.

While I understand the principle of counting on someone's self-interest as guarantor of behavior; I don't think self-interest can be adequately assessed in these circumstances using only economics. Using economic assessments rather than ethical assessments leaves one, IMO, more vulnerable.

Are you implying that all providers DON'T walk around all day in stilletos and Victoria Secret lingerie?

... What was the rest of the question?

There goes my Tuesday.  Thanks  

It was a pair of gym shorts, and a tiny (too small for her) top.  I asked her to put this on with running shoes and splash some water on her to make it look like she was sweating...

Don't know, just something about a well built woman workin out that just does it for me!!!

And experienced all that comes with that I would say to everyone it is the price you pat for the life you lead starting with me first .

It is a terrible thing and hurtful to some many people because they truly do not understand what we could be thinking being involved in such a hobby ...

We all accept or ignore the possibility risks associated  with the hobby .From outings to busts to STD s the possibilities go on and on and we know that going in.

I currently am in the middle of my 4th outing .It is starting to lose it's impact at this point really.That is why my website is locked down and not listed atm.

The last thing we want is to hurt someone else we care about . Once the egg is in the pain if you will, you may as well put salt and pepper on it and eat it.. Especially if it is true .Once that happens the outer has played his hand and is left holding no more cards .The game is over and we all go back to doing whatever it is we decide and he is now powerless i say just let the outing go as planned and can and expose this other TER person.Take his power away ,Kendall