I've got a bitch list:  This is in no way meant to be disrespectful but if you guys are aware of things it will indeed make our job easier!   I've got the gumption to say what everyone else is thinking! Yes, it is blunt but it must be said.


Not sure what you expect us to do with parts that are not in working condition!!  How would you react if you were asked to drive a car with no freaking engine??!  I don't want to feel like I have a task that requires divine intervention to complete so PLEASE do what you've gotta do to correct your problem or hang it up and forget about it!  

If it takes you an hour to "reach yuour destiny"...something isn't right and we simply don't have the time or patience to help you out!  God damn!!!  Let's keep things at a normal pace and have some reasonable expectations!!  


Soap and water in all those private parts would be wonderful for our noses and gag reflexes! If there is a shower at a ladies place ask to use it even if you "just took one before you left"  You've been sitting in the car and chances are did not properly dry off (all the crevaces...butt, groin, folds) when you showered causing an enourmous build up of odor causing bacteria!   This is especially true if you are uncut! Numerous duscussions show that us ladies are tired of the stench.

For you large guys:  If you can barely breath or move easily around the bed to reposition, or if we have to literally move bulge to get to the tiny goods, you are making us VERY uncomfotable and we can assure you that this is NOT attractive and is very unpleasant!  The above mentioned hygiene issues are expecially true for you!  We don't want to smell garbage, urine, and all the other funky odors that have come from your britches! Lose the baggage then give us a call!  If you want the sexuality to feel natural, we have to feel sexy and be turned on.....NONE of the above is conducive to feeling sexy!!! (don't care how much you're paying!)

Thanks!!!!

-- Modified on 7/24/2012 10:32:03 AM

Are you authorized to be speaking on behalf of ALL the gals?

If not...STFU  

It kills me when someone posts something like this under an alias. I've encountered numerous clients who suffered from varying levels of ED. Some didn't work very well, and some barely worked at all. However, it has not been my experience at all that they expect the unexpected or get upset with me because their condition may be limiting their enjoyment. And, how about changing the way you market yourself so that guys know better than to show up with duck butter present expecting to be serviced? It's not up to the guys to make YOUR job easier. That's YOUR JOB.

Posted By: ChgoCPA

Are you authorized to be speaking on behalf of ALL the gals?

If not...STFU  

Damn CPA, were u her last client?
I told u about washing that STANKY ass of yours!!
And you told me they all had juice running down their leg, as soon as you stepped into the room...wtf!!  
And damn it, take 3 of those little blue pills like i do, so she can have her 3-6 O's in an hour.
Damn dude...get with the program...lmao.

Damn, i sure would like to spread some "Butter" on that sweet ass of yours....yummy!!

Don't have it when you provide or post.

-- Modified on 7/24/2012 2:58:49 PM

My writing skills are not that great either, but I manage if I put some effort into it. Yours however, I had to pause every few sentences to understand what your implying.

The title of your thread is ED, and most would assume that this is an erectile dysfunction thread. You then informed the reader that this thread is a list of your dislikes. Which is fine, but your topics wasn't really clear, and I had a difficult time understanding your message. I had to conclude that your first topic was about erectile dysfunction, your second topic was about hygiene, and your third topic was about obese clients.

If the client has ED, maybe you should assess why he has it in the first place. Most guys with ED know that they have ED, and take medications to treat their conditions. Some guys are more turned on by foreplay, and the willingness of providers. Some guys are turned off by how a provider behaves and act, that is just something you might want to reconsider.

You want guys to take a shower again after they've already taken a shower because you assume that they have odor causing bacterial if they don't dry off properly? I kinda got light headed reading that.  You also stated that obese people have small cocks, and produce the most odors? I just want to make sure I've understood what your implying.

If so, then this speaks volumes of who you are as person and provider. I don't usually criticize people here on TER because its not professional, but you lady, are trashy. Please lay off the weed girl, and what part of Detroit are you from? My goodness girl, you are a wreck.

with your attitude, who would want to see you

Hey, u should be in the big city fucking about now, shouldn't you??

You have the right to see who ever you want.  If it is that bad for you then send the gentleman on his  way.  It's a two way street.  If you are nothing like your ad don't be mad when we turn around walk.

I do empathize...
but you can also spread some of that sermon around to some of your so-called "professionals" as well.  There are "VIP entrepeneurs" that don't quite live up to the standards you've alighted to.
It would be professional also, if clients weren't booked less than 30mins from one another.  
I've seen great women on whom you can see, smell, & taste that they've done their diligence preparing for the appointment.  That's a contrasting marker or reminder when you see others who clearly haven't bothered to do that extra step.

But it's a no-brainer = good hygeine for all please.

Only if you promise to clean it up, Mister McNasty...

you had not posted with an alias. Please post your real handle and website so that I can be sure not to bother your fragile senses by requesting an appointment.

Yes, I am on the larger side, and I always let people know ahead of time before anything is set up so that if they are not comfortable they can simply say no ... no hard feeling. So far, no one has.

And yes, I am aware that I can sweat more which is why I always am sure that I am showed WITH SOAP and I am throughly dried for any occasion. Its called taking care of yourself and we all do it .... big and small alike.

As for as ED goes, I am fine there but for those who are suffering, there are several other activies that they can partake of which can be just as enjoyable, but I guess not with you.

And as far as taking too long to "reach you destiny", since when did it become a race? Yes, I will admit it takes me a long time as I'm sure it does some others, but the journey is half the fun (if not more)! But that is why we like kind woman who want to have fun as much as we do and not hold a stop watch out and time us.

So once again, please post you real handle and site so we don't bother you asking for appointments.

Soap box mode off ...... :P

That is not an alias. I'm not sure if she has the guts to link her reviews if she has any, because I'm sure they don't speak highly of her. Look at how she express herself, and her attitude is portrayed in her messages. She's a disgusting $60 half hour provider from Backpage, and yet she expects greatness from her clients.

Maybe she should think about washing her own twat before talking about her clients. Did it ever occur to her that her attitude is the reason why her clients has ED. She is an uneducated ingrate, and her highest degree was primary education.

Take a look at her writing format, it is a testament to what I say. She really don't have to express much for me to evaluate her as a person. She is a trashy provider, and if she didn't provide, no one would hire her dumb ass. She can't even suck dick right, what makes you think she is eligible to flip a burger?

...It's in teal font and there is an envelope. So though it's an alias as all our handles are aliases it is not an alias that will hide her handle.

Wow. What a load of disrespect you have for the people who are paying your bills and providing you with a lifestyle I'm going to go ahead and assume you wouldn't be able to afford otherwise.

Your JOB is to work with these clients to make sure that they have an amazing time. Heaven forbid you actually have to do it.

I would say go ahead and do us all a favor and quit if you hate it that much, but it's "providers" like you who make our clients appreciate us even more. So, I guess I'll just thank you, for being you.

-- Modified on 7/24/2012 4:38:10 PM

Saturn,

You can't be bothered with what?

You're not even clear on this.

sunrosc

McDonald,

Detroit?? I thought it was Beverly Hills!!

sunrosc

every last bit..with my tongue. ( make it apple butter )...

1.  I agree that we should be ready to go.  If we're not, then you're only obligated to stay for the time agreed upon.  If we can't get it up, then that's on us.

2.  We should absolutely shower and wash up.  If a shower is offered, take it.

The reverse also applies.  If you are a woman who has some issues with odor (some women do, and that's fine)...make sure you wash inside your pussy, as well.  Nothing is more foul than going down on a girl, sticking your fingers in, and then getting a foul odor.  What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Also, please wash your ass and get a finger inside it to get any residue out.  DATY in 69 position is no fun if my nose is smelling ass.

Your points about hygiene are spot on and understandable. No one should have to deal with stanky stuff.

Other than that? You've lost touch with reality and need to get off the snooty bitch throne, Princess Entitlement.
Nice empathy you have for guys with ED issues. I have no doubt that it's no picnic for them, and not something they asked for. You don't have to worry about your parts performing...all you have to do is show up. Some of these guys have issues because they survived fucking cancer. You think they asked for that shit? You think they no longer deserve sexual satisfaction or time in the company of a woman?

If you think you have it so hard....getting paid HUNDREDS of dollars an hour...go get a job waiting tables and survive on what lots of people do. Ooooh....I have to work for my money sometimes...Boo Fucking Hoo.
And no.....you *don't* "have" to be turned on. If you are, that's a bonus. If you aren't....do your fucking job for all the bills in that envelope.

Time for you to find a new line of work, Princess.

She's WAY out of your league.

Yep..I'm sure you'll cry to TER again.

Keep on posting your negative drivel...just shows what kind of a tool you really are!!!

I'g going to make you at those words. Literally...

Posted By: lungman

every last bit..with my tongue. ( make it apple butter )...

Each and every one of these comments are predictable.  I understand you're embarrassed but bringing attention to the matter may help you to be more aware.  It is not a providers job to endure your cluelessness on proper hygiene.  The ladies are here to show you the affection no one else will give you - we are not here to fix you.  We appease you and get on with our lives.  We are not doctors.   Your anger shows how hard some nerves were hit and the fact of the matter is the ladies talk just like the men do.  We all know what's up with whom and your screen names or aliases don't hide who you are darlings   Redirecting the attention to my "writing skills" is hilarious!  I'm not here to show my intelligence (trust me, it far exceeds yours) I'm here to blurt out soem honest to goodness FACTS and I honestly don't care what you think of my approach because your opinion irrelevant.  The only thing I care about is that you get your issues under control - if not for me or other providers, for ANYONE that may have access to what's going on in your britches  Got it?

I did forget one other point:  When you're in our homes (or even hotel room) don't be snooping in cabinets, behind doors or in medicine chests! This shows total lack of respect and class!

in your case I'll make an exception.

Raise your rates to at least $ 200/hr and see what types of guys come see you.

What...you won't get any customers at that "high" rate.

Yea...I get it.  At least get away from the street lights...at least you might fool a few more Johns that way.

And of course you know who all the posters are.  The "black helicopters" are sending you those feeds.  And I guess your aluminum hat can pick up on those signals.

Thanks for the laughs today.  You're a genius!!

Maybe you should assess your demographics by the how you advertise. Of course your gonna attract the pimps, thugs, and hoodlums if you advertise on BackPage with you ass sticking out and doing specials for $50 for a half hour, and you have the audacity to complain about it.

There is something that you must be able to distinguished, and that is class versus trash. You my lady are trash. The majority of us here on the discussion forums don't contribute to providers such as yourself, because we don't want to be surround and influenced by your stank ass. Who the hell would want to pay money to spend time with you? Take a moment and think about that. You are talking to a different demographics.

If you are unashamed of what you say, then post who you are and provide an ad website that shows your identity as a provider. You talk about who we are as a hobbyist and provider, however, we have reviews and the providers have links to their ad website to back up what they say. That way, if you disagree with something we say, you can always go back and reference us. You got the guts to do something like that? Listen, don't sit here and talk shit to us grown folks and don't back it up.

You have already established yourself as a classless stank, we get that. We ain't angry at you, we're just bewildered by your lack of class and intelligence to make those kinds of comments. Do you understand that? Any educated or self respecting person would think twice about saying something like that, no, not you. They say don't blame it on the parents. Apparently I blame it on your parents for not teaching you any manners and being appreciative and thankful.

See, a grateful person appreciate feedbacks and constructive criticism. You stated that you don't care, how am I not surprise? You don't have a clue on how to screen clients, which is why your clients go through your personal belongings! Please, just get the hell out of here and don't come back again. You have already embarrassed yourself enough, don't keep adding to your idiocy.

You also need to lay off that crack and daily use of weed intake because you have completely lost your sense of reality and perception. They say that drugs fry your brain, and you are a testament to that. You are a terrible human being, and you will never be capable of maintaining a job that requires teamwork or working with another person. No one is gonna accept your behavior or ideology.

A few of my foreign friends ask me what's wrong with American society, and your the reason why foreigners view some Americans as classless. Here you are, with nothing, and your ego and sense of entitlement clouds your sense of humility you ingrate. Just get the hell out of the country. If you acted like this in another country, they throw your ass in an insane institution. Just be thankful you live in the US where you take advantage of American democracy and their government system. You got the food stamps, welfare checks, and all the weed and malt liqueur you can possible want.

-- Modified on 7/24/2012 11:46:45 PM

Street lights & helicopter comment...Oh that's very good CPA! Had me in stitches on those, my best laugh today so thanks!

I asked one if she wanted to attract clients that shop at Walmart or clients that shop at Nordstrom?   You set your price.. what are you worth.

or some ovaries in your case and let us know what you really think.  I think with your attitude a 16 year old virgin might have a hard time getting a woody.  Please tell us your name so we can flock too you and freshen up to have you give a half hearted, lay there and stare at the ceiling performance.

...and new to this industry

Take it easy lol. Two wrongs don't make a right, you know? I'm sure she is festering in some salty balls right now. It's called karma

a little apple buttter on chocolate.....yummy!!

damn it dude, i told you to quit snooping in the medicine cabinent.
just wtf are you looking for???....lmao.

... introductory e-mail messaging.

Re: This is YOUR job honey, not theirs! (I love this post!)

I agree. Not every client can have an orgasm or maintain an erection, but that does not mean they don't have desire or that they can't have a fantastic time. Being masterful in your craft takes more than, apparently, having T&A and not choking on a condom. It takes a genuine desire to please and accommodate and the sentient aptitude to provide an intimate service, exceptionally.

Posting dirty butt warnings and bathing tips NEVER goes over well. The guys who need this info either are not on here, don''t care or don't feel they have a hygiene issue. In other words, it just gets everyone pissed at you...see all those posts below.

Now if you don't much like working with guys who have a few ED issues, then say so discretely on your website..and I did say discretely. Or if you happen to be with a guy like that and you're sore or tired, just say so, he will understand and give you a rest. These guys like the affection and intimacy and are very well aware that they might wear out a lady or two. Just be sensitive and you'd be surprised at how well that goes over.  

I know I get pissed off when I see guys posting smelly vag threads...it does not reach the intended for the most part. And offering a shower helps and last but not least, if their undercarriage is still not clean no-one is going to make you do anything you don't want to do.

solution to ALL the issues you listed above...don't freaking see those people! I will agree that it is NOT my job to fk anyone I don't want or whom I feel is a total hassle...not worth the money, but I will also add, I am not exactly shy about making that known upfront. It might be some other hooker's job to deal with guys she would rather not be with, but I can assure you it's not mine. There is a reason I love the guys I see so much....because I choose them just like they choose me.

If a guy wants to act like an idiot and abuse Viagra, I will not even see him. If he has ED issues that is fine, but I won't be spending an extra hour because of it either. Don't see uncut guys, and if I smell anything from a person of any weight, they will be given a sponge bath spa style before I put my mouth on any part of them.

So, thanks for the public service announcement about what you hate concerning your clients...I am sure you're not the only one. Like I said, don't freaking see guys you hear that stuff about. How are you screening if at all? I know when someone calls me for a ref, they are told of any problems that I may have had including the ones you touched on.

I have a friend who won't see guys over 40, they must be caucasian, must be in shape, no uncircumsized gents, and no bald guys. How she makes money is beyond me, but she has been around for 10 years lol.

-- Modified on 7/25/2012 7:11:22 PM

Dirty people shouldn't be fucked, agreed! But to rule out uncircumsized or bald guys is a major malfunction. It's more a problem about her attitude and her ineptitude.

I know when to say enough, I charge by the hour and when it's up so am I, unless I want to extend and if you stink I don't touch it. Uncut guys get the cover on for everything. Yep, gotta love my clients, they rock and they get treated very well in return.

Those who won't see certain guys, like guys who won't see certain ladies...it's a personal choice. I sure as shit don't want to be with someone who does not like athletic women...but I don't consider their choice a negative. They know what they like or can deal with and that's that.