Are providers and their clients girls and boys or men and women?  The answer depends on the individual, of course. Some are still stuck in childhood, and some have grown up.

At what point do you become an adult?  Probably not at the point where adult responsibilities are forced onto you.  A lot of people say they "had to grow up fast", usually because their parent refused to grow up themselves, and wanted the kid to parent them (role reversal, anyone?), or just weren't around physically and/or emotionally for their kids.  But when that happens, the kid doesn't really grow up, they just learn some lessons about people that probably aren't accurate for most people, so they end up with an unealistic perspective on life.

So when is it that you really grow up?  I think it's at the time when you see your parents realistically, and stop the childish longing for them to give you what they didn't give you when you were a kid. You come to an understanding that they are never going to give you those things because they are not capable of it. It's just never going to happen. So then you decide to move on with your life as an adult.

I know a woman (happens to be a provider, but could be any woman) who has no contact with her mother except to callher once a year to wish her a happy birthday. She says her mother still doesn't know why she calls. But she herself knows - she wants her mother to give her what she didn't give her when she was a kid. It's never going to happen. Time to realize that and move on.

What do people think?  LOL, I just realized that some will howl "I refuse to grow up!"

But seriously, when you you think people stop being little children?