researching FBSM in my area.  found perfect provider. she repeatedly states that massage only , NO SEX. however, most reviews state that they got russian, hj with release on her big tits. a few say a bj was included.  who to believe???

The only thing you can expect to an emailing asking "will you have sex with me?" is to be put on her DNS list.

That when FBSM providers say "no sex," generally they mean "no vaginal intercourse."  HJ finish is almost always included. (If it wasn't, why would you see a FBSM provider?)  Russian is another activity that is popular.  BJ, not so much, but is possible, but usually only with repeat clients.  

....I have had spontaneous sex with three of them-unannounced and unsolicited. Now, one of these ladies NEVER does it, but did with me. Another one might do it with someone she felt attracted to. The third I believe is in her repertoire. The point is, is if you are nice and professional and use a touch that works for her (Bid YMMV here), magic can happen. Of course, most of the time, all you get is a handy!

I saw a lady in my area who advertises massage only (for obvious reasons) but who does Russian, HJ, no BJ but it was great.

and go with the flow when you meet her. FBSM is usually "no sex" meaning no FS, but it usually does include some release (HJ, BJ, etc..).  

I knew you had to be around here someplace

It is safe to say that most FBSM girls will do something with the boner, on the flip.  
     And, of course, YMMV, depending on what she is presented with.

FBSM? SMH.  

FBSM has the benefits of being more of a sensual, sexy, mysterious service.
It has the possibility of deeper connection, for more thorough relaxation.
There is usually a slower, longer, more intense, build up of energy, before the eruption comes
 and is followed by deep fulfillment and peace.

but it isn't really my cup of tea

You just demonstrated exactly why people get on your case.  And why you have no right to complain when they do.  So lay off the devil's face.