About three years ago I met a lady locally whom I have seen too many times to count. I have grown to care about her. I am not dilusional (spelling), I am not in love with her or want to be her S/o, but I do care about her and  I believe holiday times are difficult for her and at times she tends to disappear.  

I understand that it's none of my business and I know that we all need a break from time to time from this hobby, but I still grow concerned about her and hope she is doing ok. It's not so much about my desire to be with her sexually as it is I enjoy her company and just being with her. I think she is a beautiful person and an amazing woman. I also know I need to respect her space and give her time to do whatever it is she needs to do and not send her messages checking on her.

Am I a fool for caring about her or feeling this way?  I know I should keep this under my hat and respect the nature of the hobby.  Have any of you gone through something similar? Please keep the bashing to a minimum.  

Peac

But you would be a fool to meddle in their lives; although you seem to have a grip on that situation, so relax

END OF MESSAGE

I hate when ladies point out an injury or bruise. I'm automatically going to think the worst. And I probably wouldn't have noticed on my own.

Talk about a buzz kill

or at least the first one you had some chemistry with. Getting into the hobby can mess with you on a level you don't expect. It did me. Even though I don't see my first one professionally anymore, we keep in touch and occasionally meet for lunch to catch up.  I, too, want to see that she is doing ok and will occasionally give her money or gifts.

There are others that I care about as well, but not like the first one.

It took me a year after I started this hobby to come to terms on an emotional level with the unknown future. Each time a fellow walks out the door, I do not know if I will ever see them again. I don't hound or contact them even though sometimes my heart is aching to know how they are and in some cases, are they even alive? My silent promise to the person that shows up is to be professional. To understand there is a line between our fantasy world and our real world. Your payment to me buys my time that you are with me but also buys a promise not to stalk you!  I truly care about many many of the fellows I have seen, but because I care, I respect their private real lives.
All that said, no one is perfect and sometimes the heart overrides the brain- XOXO

 
Hear is a blog post I wrote a few years ago to deal with my feelings like you might be having for the amazing woman:

The words mean nothing, yet everything. You come to me or me to you, filled with anticipation, alive with desire and seeking a touching of souls and body.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. We smile when the door swings open and see the other waiting for the enjoyment and fulfillment that will evolve.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. You are the one that completes and satisfies my wanton aches; to bring me pleasure in an insane world.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. I am your paramour, concubine, beau; your courtesan, inamorata; your mistress.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. We come together as if we were clouds forming a storm, with pulsating intensiveness building to thunderous vibrations and then the calmness after the storm.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. I am your paramour, concubine, beau; your courtesan, inamorata; your mistress.

The words mean nothing, yet everything.

That way  you're not patronizing her, assuming she needs "help". Just a nice gift.  

Yes, you guys want us to be human, but then beat yourself up for being human. "Too professional. She wasn't genuinely into it."  

It's sweet to care, going overboard however is patronizing. Also if you send a holiday gift instead of a "I think you're struggling" gift, a lot of people gain a little hope & faith that a higher power is watching out for them, -'as opposed to captain save a ho. Captain save a ho does not have the power to change everything. Everybody knows that. But he can send a gift. Also if it's a gift, that protects you from being asked for handouts. Though she doesn't sound like that type, your habits of wanting to help damsels in distress might happen again and you have to be careful. Handouts vs gifts? Do a gift not "knowing" she could use it.  

Xoxo

C

more like my 50th one I've been around for 15-20 years but definitely the best chemistry I've ever had.

Caring for them isn't the issue. If there's nothing else going on except sex there's nothing wrong with that but connecting on other levels is what makes some girls more memorable than others. You don't even need to keep it under your hat but you should approach that with some concern for her perception of why you are telling her (as well as your own motivations). There's a line between letting them know you appreciate their mind and have fond feelings for them, and telling them you want them to quit their job, marry you and have some babies. That line isn't difficult to see, but guys can get carried away by their feelings and do "stupid" things like profess their love and expect reciprocation to being a creepy stalker and everything inbetween.

Personally, I want to care about the girls I see, want to know them better, share more than just orgasms, but the pain of limerence isn't something I care to experience, at least without reciprocation and I've learned over the years not to expect it. If I love someone it is it's own reward. Wanting more is not "manly". If I tell someone I have feelings for them I do it when I think it will make them feel good, though there are plenty of ways to do it without being explicit. If someone tells me they care for me it makes me feel good as long as I don't get the idea they have hidden motives or are going to get BSC on me.

If you have a fantastic time but then quietly wallow in the agony of loneliness for weeks after seeing them, you might want to take a step back, limit your exposure to a level you can handle, see other girls, and most importantly examine whether or not your thought process is fueling the emotional pain. If you can keep your thoughts in check the rest will work itself out, and a little disconcerment over your feelings is actually a great opportunity to teach yourself to love without attachment that can have positive effects in civie life. You don't get that bonus with girls you fuck and forget about the next day.  

It may not be the case here but tread lightly. Personally, I know what I am and I know what I am not. The whole point to this is we see each other and have fun for the agreed fee/time. Of course there are some you like more than others. In my experience, feelings in the hobby are a huge HUGE mistake. The makings of an epic disaster in fact. Anyway, I absolutely assure you that she will reach out if she wants to see you. You really only know what she wants you to know. FACT

1.  Empty out your bank account and give I all to her; or
2.  Give her name to toys for tots with a note that says, "Insertables Only."

 
A third choice is to admit you're just a little bit delusional and would like her as a SO, even though its probably not going to happen, and give her a nice girlfriend gift.  This is what I do.

I care very much for my ATF whom I know has gone through some tough times in the recent past.  She has moved away but comes back my way every 3-4 months and I move heaven and earth to get to see her.  We do exchange texts from time to time.  Holidays, etc. and every now and then a random "I miss you".  BUT with all that said, I try to stay out of her business unless she shares it with me.  I love her, but I am NOT in love with her.

If you would like to send her a little something, just send the money to my Pay Pal account along with the instructions on what you want me to buy for her and I will make sure it gets to her.

One other thing you could do for her while you are in such a giving mood is go harass those last couple of guys who gave her shit reviews until they take back all the bad things they said about her.  

Ok, got to go now, Megan's calling for me, don't worry about her going bareback with me. I am "pretty sure" I am clean. Just try to put the thought of me cumming inside of her the next time you go down on her, and don't forget to send a little extra for my "handling fee" lol

Nice post. Thanks

It's been a long time since I leaned a new word.  Thank you!

END OF MESSAGE

There are men who find real relationships too risky for a variety of reasons including the fear of real intimacy. For these individuals there are frequent visits to the same provider and the fantasy of a real relationship with the woman. One aspect of this "fantasy" relationship is that the provider, unlike a real girl friend or wife, is not demanding of anything emotional in return. In a way, the provider is “soothing the psyche” of that man. And there you have it- you're nuts!

You said this:

"I am not in love."  

That is what is called in this biz as a "tell."

Why would you feel the need to say you are NOT in love? You are only kidding yourself my friend.

The best thing for you, much like a drunk or gambler, is to admit you have a problem. Now if you don't think being in love with her is a problem per se, then just be honest and tell us you love her.

You do. Its obvious. You will feel better by saying it. Maybe even empoweedr by admitting it to strangers.

Come clean son. Advice and absolution will be yours.

beautifully written and on point. I'm wrestling with this now.  
Interesting to hear someone say they do think about us when we're not around.  
Well, not all of us... lol maybe not me either... lmao

But that's very different from being IN LOVE with her.

Maybe he said what he did only for people like you who don't know that it's possible to love someone, a lot, without being in love with them.

but you are absolutely correct about the OP. Anyone who doubts this,  just look at the OP's reviews, He has one 10-10 review and that review reads like it was written by a love sick puppy dog.

I wonder if he is still going to want her after I fuck Megan bareback in the ass a few times during our holiday together. and I have been checking my Pay Pal account and so far nothing from the OP. Megan and I are VERY disappointed.

Correction, he has two 10-10 reviews, but it's plain which woman he is in love with.

-- Modified on 12/7/2016 11:10:24 AM

Seems like these lovelorn johns tend to fall hard during the holidays.

And it's actually a "brown envelope".  You must be color blind!

It's a slippery slope that the OP is on.

I feel that it's good that we care about one another, it demonstrates our humanity.  

But the reality is that our life/world comes in 1,2 or 3 hour increments, and it should probably remain there.

As most will tell you here, I am the TER expert in reading the tea leaves with lovesick Johns. Much the same way GaG is an expert in drinking, Jake an expert in having to get the last word in and USG an expert in paying hookers to sleep. We all have our superpowers.  

All you need to do is look at his subject line.

"Why do I care so much?"

If he just "loved" her, as you state, he would have stopped at the word "care" but he did not for he could not. He felt compelled to add the very telling "so much" which tells you this is no ordinary love. (Cue Sade, lol)  

No, no, no. The OP is hopelessly, wildly, in a deep romantic love that could last until Presidents day if he is not careful.

the only question remaining is will he admit it to us or himself and will he seek inversion therapy that I just happen to offer at JDU. (Michele Bachmann, professor

You've developed the ability to discern a person's psychological makeup just from two words ("so much") in one online post.

I think this deserves a full write up in the American Journal of Psychology or similar publication. It's too big of a finding to be embedded in a thread on a fuck board.

It was just a matter of time really.

You can be the optimist if you wish, If it gets you through your day.

I like to get to the heart of the matter and this johns heart has been stolen.

I just hope we can reach him in time to allow him to keep his dignity.

Along with his Christmas bonus. LOL

You could help in this endeavor by not blowing smoke up his unicorn's ass.

This man is crying, begging for help and you want to play games,

Yes, I am a dick. Stipulated. But guess what NYE? These guys don't ultimately end up in your inbox, They end up in mine.

And who is holding them up, making them face their deepest fears and offering expert analytical advice to make it to the other side? It's ME bucko.

These girls can wipe a guy out with this knowledge. Now that he has gone public with his love, we may not be able to stop this hemorrhaging of emotion.

We may only be able to contain it. God and Mike Pence willing.

That's why he runs the university around here.  Its seems all of us that burst bubbles and call it like we see it are insensitive dicks around here.  Its a nasty job, but someone's got to do it before some of these guys hand over their life savings to a hooker.

Ah, I was waiting for Gambler's reply with popcorn and scotch handy.   You never disappoint, Gambler!

I've been in the OP's shoes, many years ago. Reminds me of a song:

"I fell in love with a hooker
She laughed in my face
So seriously I took her
I was a disgrace

"I was out of line; I was out of place
Out of time to save face
See the open mouth of my suitcase
Sayin' leave this place"

--Soul Asylum, "Without A Trace"

People like NYE just think you are some figment of the imagination. Some character that only exists on a an episode of Law and Order.

Maybe people like NYE, and there are others like him to be sure, will be less judgmental in the future, knowing recovered people like you REALLY do exist.

You guys didn't plan on falling in love. It happens. The power of the pussy can be overwhelming to a mangina.  

People like yourself mistook the "thank you" post session email or text as to mean they were willing to walk away from their ladies of the night occupation to build a house, surround it with a white picket fence and pop out a few bastard children.

The "you have the biggest cock I have ever seen" line can enable a john to let his guard down.

You stumbled, you fell, but you stood on your own eventually.  I am proud of you.

And those lyrics were fucking beautiful man.  

Your post made my day.

Stay healed, my friend.

be sure to tip your waitress. lol

Beautifully said

Ditto, just Googled it. Very articulate.

But I believe there's many kinds of people in this world.  There's people, for example, who can differentiate love for a person from being in love with them.  They can care a lot for a person without wanting to build a house for them and have their children.

Thus I try not to judge a person or define them based on a couple of words in a post. I'll leave that to the people like you with the mental super-powers.

I would say that we are all human and it's most definitely normal to wonder and care. I think a merry Christmas hope you are doing well email or text is usually thoughtful and welcomed in my humble opinion anyway. But I do know what you mean because as professional as I tend to be I have one of two clients with whom it could easily get out of hand because of the level of chemistry. So far so good as I have never let it get out of hand but atleast you are aware of the boundary that should be in place.

No no you are not a fool for caring but you may be a fool if you continually over check on her and get too deep into her personal life.  

 
So I say wiH her a Happy holiday and do your best to keep it moving! But trust me I get it in a similar situation unfortunately lol

Totally agree with you Adelle. It is hard to COMPLETELY turn off all feelings, especially if there is someone whose company you truly enjoy, or that you have insane chemistry with. It doesn't mean that you are in love. But when did caring about other human beings become a bad thing? There are a couple of guys that I see regularly, that I do care about. I care about when they are sick or injured, or even when they have other issues going on that they choose to discuss with me. I am not in love with either. But I do care about them. Nothing wrong with having a heart, even in the hobby.....at leat not in my eyes.

I always find it amazing how some stuck up types cant find the humor here sometimes!! No Yellow needs to lighten up or something. Seems like he needs to get laid! Funny shit Jack!!

And I like pop corn.

I'm not sure the combination is a good one though.

You see popcorn has butter all over it, which could result in my Bourbon glass slipping from my fingers shattering on the floor and resulting in alcohol abuse. That's horrifying.

For example, I get big laughs when I see guys who give a 10 to every provider they review.  

Some guys like yourself can only afford the skanks. I sincerely hope your financial situation improves. Get back to us when you can see the very best.

... who lead me to post here under an alias... they make assumptions and attack without knowing anything about the person.

I have many reviews under my handle--none is a "skank".  And you have no idea what I can afford.  But thanks for the kind hopes for my finances.

I hear it can do wonders for all your fears of showing your reviews. Re: your skanks, don't be embarrassed. They need your loving and your money too. On your way out we have some lovely parting gifts for you. Will they fit in your purse?

You are one real moth** f**k**. You crack me up. Read everything you post . 50% are generally good for a real laugh.
Tell Megan I said hey!

PS; When I first started this hobby about a year ago, the thought of another guy banging my escort a few hours earlier bothered me, but I have gotten use to the concept quickly.

... as opposed to being another selfish, self serving, emotionally broken fucktard that sees everyone in the world through the lens of their own narcissistic ego needs like we are surrounded by every damn time we leave the house, drive in traffic, go into a store, go to work, etc, etc, etc.... ugh.... Have you seen what passes for human decency these days? And that's among so called "normal' folks?! And that's with "normal" folks in normal relationships!

So, here's a big secret about business that is no secret at all. All business is about relationships. All good business is built on good relationships. How we define a successful business has been the real issue in corporate America for a long time with the focus shifting away from the human element and the value of the actual manpower that keeps business functional and instead toward bottom line profit margins and cutting costs on paper at the expense of the people who are seen as labor numbers, not valuable investments. The problem is that this toxic mentality has seeped into our every day lives and too many folks seem to think this is how everything that isn't high minded and gloriously protected by matrimony should also be regarded. And we see how well this mentality is working for American workers so far...

So, with that said.... when you have a connection with a provider and you know you are valued and appreciated as a person, not just an income stream, (if you see them as a human being first too), then you also feel it. You recognize it. You get more out of your experience than expensive masturbation for your ego with a living blow up doll. So, of course you care. Why shouldn't you? Wouldn't you care about the local independent shopkeeper down the street who knows your name, remembers your preferences, and greets you with sincere and warm enthusiasm when you patronize his/her business? (As compared to the local big box franchise store with all of its interchangeable and non-invested service personnel who don't see you, don't care about you and won't remember you). Why would this relationship be any different from that one if you can feel that you are valued and appreciated by the business owner?

There are alot of folks who are quick to act like giving a damn about any of the providers is some kind of act of weakness or stupidity and that all the providers should be treated like disposable kleenex or blow up dolls on a carousel whose existence and humanity should be reduced to absolutely nothing that deserves common decency or a modicum of respect as a human being with feelings. These are the same people who see providers because they are so handicapped psychologically that they can't deal with women as partners on an equal playing field and have so little confidence in their masculinity that they have to play these big, bragging bravado games amongst other broken men to try and make themselves feel like they are not afraid of women, intimacy or growing up and becoming emotionally responsible adults in relationships where they have to bring more to the table than money as a form of power and insurance from being rejected.

There are many folks (who you will never see frequenting forums like this because they have lives that keep them busy) who see providers because this provides a relationship where everyone knows where the boundaries are, what the rules are and the expectations are defined clearly and neatly so that there is no messy emotional negotations because the relationship is evolving along with the progression of intimacy and investment levels. Some folks enjoy providers because it makes sense, everyone knows the rules and everyone comes to the table with a mutual interest in having each other's needs met in a way that makes both parties happy at that time with no recriminations later.

 
So you are not a fool. You are a profoundly valuable human being who knows when you have found someone who sees you as something other than a walking ATM. We can't always be friends in the "normal" sense of the word around here but folks with any life experience know the value of all friendships, in all the varieties they come in from the best friend we trust in our homes to the local shopkeeper who smiles warmly when they see us because they know who we are and appreciate our patronage of their business. Even that is friendship too and if you don't think so, just remember - McDonald's will never miss you if you stop showing up one day but the local independent will notice... because you matter

It's not why you care, it is what you can do about it, or rather, do to avoid it causing issues.

Getting attached to someone is normal human bonding.  However normal doesn't mean rational.  And by rational I mean in one's best interest.

There are all kinds of behaviors associated with "caring" that if focused on the un-receptive person can cause extreme blowback

I miss you too!!!😘

What brought all this up? Did someone treat you poorly? You really seem to have taken this OP very emotionally. And why criticize McDonalds? That seems like it was out in left field. They give a ton of money to very good charities most notably the Ronald McDonald house which places people who need vital medical care up in quality temporary housing.

END OF MESSAGE

First, you ended your post with a quotation from some guy about buying something made by a person.  I thought you were in a service business, so I went to your website to see what you were selling.  Couldn't find any tangible things being sold, but while I was there I noticed the B&W drawing of you showing one of your boobs hanging a lot lower than the other, so much so, that the nipples aren't even.  

My questions:

1.  What are you selling that is made by you?  Don't tell me you are bronzing your turds, or I'm going to be sick.  

2.  Why don't you see a cosmetic surgeon about making your boobs even.  I think the technology exists to fix something like that.

3.  What makes you think you know anything about how business works?  Your observations seem to be from the perspective of labor, which is usually out of touch with management because labor doesn't know anything about running a business, only working in a business

--Murphy

Really good post

Dito......I could not have written that any better.

Two of the girls I'm seeing  (not together) are really awesome. Both treat me like I'm the only one they're seeing. I know that's not true. Sometimes you just get a bit closer than other guys to these girls. When you gain their trust you get kind of get hooked on them. Not to toot my own horn, but being super nice to some of these girls tends to make them talk to me about what's going on in their lives

Read his reviews, and it's pretty obvious that it's Megan. For extra chuckles, read some of her other reviews.

she's been angry ever since she's been here, and for many years before landing on our doorstep I would wager.

As for McDonalds, the highest praise I can muster for them is that their fries have never made me vomit. Sorry, I just can't think of anything nicer to say about Mickey D's

END OF MESSAGE

and the OP served up a big fat juicy one. lol

I am sure Megan will come home to him someday soon, and he will wonder if that strange new taste he encounters when he DATY's is the taste of Gambler jizz. lmao

"why do i care so much?"

could mean he never expected to care even a little about a girl who does this for an income, and the little bit of caring he has has left him thinking the little is 'too much' as he shouldn't feel anything.

alot of guys are surprised to find out we are human. I know some DO realize it, but some do not. As far as they are concerned we don't exist outside of the time they give us attention. At least not as real people...

Good post....I could say a whole lot on this, but will refrain, because I'll get dogged...lol